In The End
by SignsofSam
Summary: He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected. Nathan centric NH, LP, BOC or BC Epilogue up September 30th!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new story! I plan on adding an epilogue to Fate, but I wanted to put this up! It's Naley (but of course), and Nathan angsty.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own OTH, the characters, or the plot. I also do not own the quotes and/or song lyrics that start the chapters. Dammit.

**Rating:** T, what else would it be?

**Prologue: A Hard Confession**

_And These Children  
That you spit on  
As they try and change their worlds  
Are immune to your consultations.  
They are quite aware   
Of what they're going through.  
_**-David Bowie**

Deb Lee wondered if her pleas would fall on deaf ears as she stopped outside the gate, pressing on the call button. The gate opened, and she started her long walk up the driveway to the immaculate house. She had just come off a twenty-hour shift at the hospital, only to come home to a call from an intake officer at Juvenile Hall saying Nathan was there, charged with possession of a substance with intent to sell.

How did it come to this? For so many years, Nathan was a bright, bubbly little boy. Then, his stepfather had died, she had lost her job, they had lost the house, the car…all their tangible objects, forced to start over in the middle of the bad part of Raleigh. And he had changed.

She looked up at the wooden door, hand clutching into a fist, preparing to knock on the door. Her eyes widened as it opened, an older version of her former boyfriend staring back at her. "Hello, Deb," he greeted solemnly, opening the door for her to come in. "We can talk in my office." She nodded, following him past the family room, where a sandy haired teenage boy and a brunette woman sat.

His office was opulent and immaculate, and he invited her to sit in one of the large chairs, handing her a cup of coffee. "You look like hell, Deb."

"I just came off a twenty-hour shift," she admitted, smiling sadly.

"Not to be rude, but what are you doing here? I offered my help with our son and you declined it, so what are you doing here?"

"I need your help. He's out of control. He's doing drugs, he's beating kids up for drug money, he's depressed…I can't handle him," she explained, tears coming to her eyes as she pulled out some papers. "I have custody papers here. I don't want to do this, but I feel like this is helping him."

"Custody papers?" he asked, taking the legal documents. "Deb, these are for full custody of Nathan. You aren't saying visitation, Deb. You're saying you don't want to see your kid again."

"No. I'm saying I can't help him, but I think you can, Dan," she replied, looking at the papers. "I've already signed them. I agree to give you full custody and not see him unless you allow it."

"How am I supposed to do that, Deb? I haven't seen you in fourteen years-I don't even have a picture of him! And yet I'm supposed to be his father? What about my family? What about Karen and Lucas? How am I supposed to explain my ex-girlfriend's son here?"

"Jesus, Dan, he's your son, too. I've never asked you for _anything_ concerning him-no money, no incentives to stay quiet; I've allowed you to go on with your life. The least you could do is grant me this favor and _help_ him." She took out a faded picture, handing it to him. "That's your son. Nathan Daniel Lee. And he needs you right now. And I know it's an inconvience for you, for your family, but he needs someone to help him. And I-I'm not that person, Dan. I've tried."

"If I sign these papers, you know I won't be giving custody back to you, right?"

"I don't want it back. I work twenty hours a day six days a week-I don't have time for my son. My only request is that you let him talk to me on the phone once a week," she begged, watching as he looked over the document, before taking his pen and signing it.

"Of course, Deb. Where is he, right now?"

"Courtland Juvenile Facility in Raleigh. He has a hearing to determine whether he can go home or if he has to stay in jail Monday."

"Okay. Can I visit him?"

"Saturday. Visitation days are Saturday. I'll get you in contact with his probation officer, who can explain more about the charges and what could possible happen," she said, coming over and giving him a hug. "Thank you."

He smiled, looking out to the family room, to his family. What would happen with the added addition?

**So, what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**OMG! Thank you all for the reviews! I was so happy I decided to post chapter one!**

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter One: Discovery **

_Human potential, though not always apparent, is there waiting to be discovered and invited forth_--William W. Purkey

Nathan Lee rubbed a hand over his face, looking around the stark white walls of juvenile hall. The walls smelled, he decided, probably from the hundreds of kids that had gone through them, sat on the same hard bench as he was sitting on now, and contemplated what the hell they had done to end up in such a place.

Well, Nathan knew what he had done. Assault and battery, drugs, running away, petty theft-in a little over two years, he had turned into the wild child willing to do anything for the next high. He didn't wait for it to come; he sought it out, craving it; it was an addiction. He knew that this time, it was possession.

He heard someone cough in the isolation cell next to his, and he laughed, leaning back against the hard wall. Of course he'd be stuck next to the guy who couldn't stop coughing. Maybe God was trying to tell him something.

Yeah, right. Like God was listening.

He certainly didn't listen when Nathan begged day in and day out two years ago for his step father's safety and survival during a horrific car crash on the interstate. He didn't listen when Nathan begged him to let his mom keep her job. He certainly didn't listen when Nathan begged him to bring his father back.

He jumped a little as the door opened, an officer standing there. "Nathan, come this way," the officer said, stepping inside. Nathan nodded, standing up. "Hands behind your back, Nathan; you know the drill." Again, Nathan nodded, hands behind his back, left clasping his right. He had been in Juvy since Thursday night, and would be there until Monday. Today was Saturday-visitation day. Who did he have to visit him? His mother never did-she told him the first time she got in trouble that if he did it again, she wouldn't visit him.

The guard sat him in front of a man in a business suit, looking over his file. He looked up, giving Nathan a smile. "Who are you?" Nathan asked, biting his bottom lip.

"I'm surprised. Your mother hasn't ever shown you a picture of your own father?" Dan responded, watching his son's blue eyes widen. "Nathan, I-"

"Why are you here? Where's my mom?" Nathan snapped. Dan handed him a document, and Nathan took it, his hands shaking as he read it. "What…what is this? Where's my mom?"

"She handed custody of you over to me, Nathan. She can't handle you anymore."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not. Come Monday, if you are allowed to go home, it will be with me. Your mother signed over full custody to me."

"What did you threaten her with?"

"I didn't. I had left you two alone for sixteen years because she asked me to. Why would I do something now? Your mother came to me. Do you realize what you're doing to her?"

"Apparently pissing her off to no end," Nathan commented, glaring at the man. "I don't think the judge will let me go home with someone I don't even know."

"I think the judge was wrong to let you go home the first time. Maybe then you would have learned," Dan snapped. "I've talked to your probation officer, and I've talked to the lawyer for the prosecution, and I've worked it out with them. As long as you're good in here, you should be out Monday."

"Why do you even care?"

"Because despite our relationship-despite the fact that I wasn't there to see you grow up, I'm still responsible for you, and I still want you to be a good man when you go out on your own. And with the path you're on now, that isn't going to happen." Nathan sighed, pressing his head down onto his fists. "I'm not gonna hurt you, son. I'm here to help you."

"You're a lying son-of-a-bch, you know that? You don't care about me…no one does, apparently. I think I'm done now." He called to the guard, standing up, arms behind him. The guard led him back, leaving behind a shocked Dan.

Nathan sat in his cell, on the verge of tears. His mom had abandoned him-giving him to his father, of all people. He leaned against the wall, trying to hold it all in. How could she do this to him? _He_ didn't know Nathan-he didn't know his birthday, his favorite color, his plans in life…all _he_ knew was that he didn't have to pay a child support check every month.

He stood up, pounding his fist into the wall beside his bed, not stopping until he drew blood. His façade dropped then, and the tears came, and wouldn't stop. He let them out, feeling his fears and his doubts and his worries fall with them. The door was pulled open, three security guards coming in. "Nathan, get on the ground," one of the guards-Anthony? Will?- called, watching him gravely.

"I'm…I'm fine," Nathan whispered.

"No, you aren't…you could hurt yourself, someone else…" the guard soothed the boy, putting his hands in flexi-cuffs. "Calm down, Nathan. Just calm down."

"I'm fine!" Nathan tried to reiterate, to which he failed miserably. The guards got him standing, ushering him out. "I just…I'm fine!"

"Nathan, you really might want to stop talking right now," the lead guard-was it Will or Anthony?- advised, opening a door to a long, bare hall way. "We're taking you to the med ward, and then you're gonna get to go spend the rest of your time in the isolation unit so you can be under 24 hour wat-"

"Wouldn't you be freaking out if _your_ father just happen to show up out of freakin' blue and claim to be taking you home? I'm _fine_."

"Fine. Then you can go to Isolation for insubordination," the guard snapped, pushing Nathan into the medical room, sitting him in a chair. "Nathan, why are you jeopardizing yourself? You realize the judge could keep you in here for such behavior? Do you want to stay?"

"If it means I have to go home to my father, then yeah, maybe."

"No, you don't, Nathan. Staying here for three and half months while waiting on a court date-that's not fun. At least with your father, you can have some sort of freedom."

Nathan didn't reply, instead looking away as the nurse came over. "What'd you do, Nathan?" she asked after glancing at the quick report one of the other guards had been writing up. When Nathan didn't answer, the nurse sighed, rolling her eyes as she looked toward the guard. "Will, what did he do?"

"Punched the wall a couple times…enough to draw blood."

"What was he punching the wall for? I need to see his hand-" the guard nodded, standing Nathan up, cutting off the cuffs. The nurse took the injured hand, probing the cuts.

"I'm gonna clean these up, and put some gauze and an ACE bandage around it. I'll have to talk to the doctor for an anti-biotic, cause who knows what the hell he's picked up by punching that wall," the nurse commented, scribbling something on the charts about Nathan. "Will you be informing his guardian about this indiscretion?"

"Yeah. His father will be notified after he is delivered to Isolation," Will replied, glancing at the teen, who wouldn't hold his gaze.

**----In The End----**

"Mr. Scott, you've got a call from the Courtland Juvenile Facility on Line One," Dan's secretary, Greta, said, returning to her filing as Dan sighed, picking up the phone.

"Hello, this is Dan Scott."

"Mr. Scott? You're Nathan Lee's guardian, correct?"

"Yes. Is something wrong with Nathan? He isn't hurt or anything, is he?"

"Hi, I'm Will Esgrow, I'm a guard a CJF. Nathan…he was sent to Isolation for the remainder of his stay here because he punched the wall in his cell. He's fine, a couple of cuts on his hand, but we are still obligated to report to you the reason why he was sent to Isolation," the man explained, and Dan could hear the shifting of paperwork in the static of the phone.

"But he's okay?"

"Yeah. This is mostly to keep him from harming himself. You are going to be attending his hearing, correct?"

"Yeah. Monday at nine."

"Okay, then; I guess he'll see you then."

"Okay. Thanks, again." Dan hung up the phone, resting his head in his hands. He grasped the picture frame, staring at the picture of this kid-_his_ kid-that he had never gotten to know. He placed the frame beside the one of Karen and Lucas, wondering if one day he'd be able to have one picture for his whole family. He picked up the phone, dialing the number to Karen's café.

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby," he whispered, feeling her smile against the phone.

"Hey, my husband. What's wrong?"

"Nathan-" He heard the gasp of her breath. "I know. But Karen, I have to help him. I've stayed in the shadow's too long-"

"That wasn't your choice, Dan! You asked to be responsible and she told you no! You shouldn't feel guilty-"

"I shouldn't feel guilty? I didn't even know he had been arrested. I didn't know he had a drug problem. I don't know who my son is. But the thing is-I want to know who he is. I want to know if he's brilliant, or athletic, or artistic; I want to know his favorite color and his favorite TV show and his favorite book…I want to know him."

"And that's why he's coming home with you, Dan. He's gonna come home to us, and we're going to help him. But you can't feel guilty over the past. Now, why'd you call me?"

"Nathan was put in Isolation today for hurting himself," Dan admitted, looking over the showroom of his dealership.

"Hurting himself?-"

"He punched the wall of his cell after I came to visit him. He totally freaked when I was there. And now I'm worried that's going to jeopardize him coming home."

"I don't know, Dan. I honestly-I just don't know."

**----In The End----**

Nathan rubbed his wrists as he sat in the witness stand, looking at his father. His mother hadn't even bothered showing up. "Nathan, what are you here for?" the judge asked him.

"Possession of a controlled substance."

"What substance?"

"Um…marijuana."

"You done anything else?"

"Mostly marijuana, but some speed and heroin," he answered, flushing in embarrassment.

"You are aware of what those things can do to you?" the judge asked, shaking his head a little.

"Yes, sir."

"Then why do you keep doing it?"

"Because despite all those risks, I don't have to live my life when I'm on those drugs. I feel like I've got some control over my life when I'm on them," Nathan admitted, staring poignantly at his father. "And if I could feel that way without them, I wouldn't take them."

"Okay. Nathan, how do you do at school?" Nathan looked at the judge questioningly. "You just made quite an impressive speech. How do you do at school?"

"Um…all A's," Nathan said, rubbing his wrists again.

"And you think drugs aren't going to deter that?"

"I don't know; they haven't yet."

"Okay. You can step down. Mr. Scott, if you'll please come up." Dan nodded, making his way to the same uncomfortable chair his son had exited. "Mr. Scott, you just became Nathan's guardian, correct?"

"Yes, sir. Friday, in fact."

"And before that, you were-"

"Nothing, really. His mother didn't want me involved in his life until now. She feel like she won't be able to handle him anymore," Dan explained.

"And you? How do you plan on handling this? Drug abuse is a serious problem; it's pretty obvious he's been abusing drugs for awhile now."

"I have already gotten him admitted to an out-patient treatment center thirty minutes from my house; I'm pretty much open to anything that will help him."

"Why now?"

"Because I want to know who my son is and I want him to like his life."

"Okay. If you'll step down, please." The judge paused, collecting his thoughts and letting Dan have a moment to sit. "My biggest problem here today is that Nathan would be going home to a place he isn't familiar with. However, I feel that the help he could get outweighs my doubts, so therefore I will rule that Nathan goes home with his father today, provided that he takes randomized drug tests and he goes nowhere but to his house, to treatment, and to his probation meetings." Dan felt his heart skip a beat as the gavel banged, and he smiled.

Nathan stood as the bailiff tugged on his arm, leading him back to a holding cell. He remained silent, tears of grief, of pain, of regret, rolling down his face. He was going home…but to what home? It was a place he didn't know; a place he feared. He quickly wiped the tears away, running his hands through his hair in order to calm himself.

He almost jumped when the door opened, and he stood up, letting the guard remove his cuffs and shackles. "Here, kid; take your clothes, change in there-I need you to fold up what you're wearing and put it in the bag." Nathan nodded, taking the jeans and blue t-shirt he was wearing when he got arrest. He changed quickly, finally slipping his feet back into his beat up white Adidas, again running a hand through his hair.

Dan stood in the entrance bay of Juvy, talking to Karen excitedly. He glanced up at the clock every now and then, but for the most part he conversed, generally about Nathan. "He's…he seemed okay. A little aloof, but other than that, perfectly all right."

"No offense, honey, but I'd be a little aloof, too, if I was going to a house full of strangers." Her voice was soft, as if fearing Nathan was standing beside Dan. "I'll go ahead and schedule him a physical with Luke's doctor. Are you sure you wanna do this, Dan?"

"Yes. Deb made him out to be a criminal-and yes, maybe he does have quite the track record, but there is something else to him-and I want to find out what that is," Dan returned, ending the conversation as the doors opened and Nathan came out. "Hey."

Silence.

Nathan glanced up at his father, their blue eyes locking. Dan recognized the color as his own, disguised with pain and...and maybe fear and regret. "Please answer me when I talk to you," Dan whispered, keeping his eyes on his son as the teen looked down at the tile. "Please."

"No, thanks, I'd rather not." Nathan's voice barely reverberated in Dan's ears.

"Mr. Scott, please sign the highlighted parts. It just states that you will adhere to the criteria Judge Hansten set in his ruling-house arrest until his next hearing, random drug testing to be preformed at any time by his probation officer…" Dan nodded, quickly signing beside Nathan's scribbled signature. "Thank you. We'll see you in six weeks for Nathan's next hearing. At that time, the length of his probation will be determined."

Dan watched the teenager look outside, his eyes closing against the sunlight. "Nathan, it's the black Range Rover over there," he directed, wondering if his son would try to bolt. Instead, Nathan walked to the Range Rover, his steps slow and deliberate, and he put a hand out, not quite on the door handle, almost as if wondering if he'd mar the beauty of the car by touching it. "Go ahead-get in. Nothing's gonna happen."

"You'd be surprised," The voice was again soft, and Nathan wasn't looking at his father, instead at his shoes. Dan wondered what all Nathan was hiding about his past life, and when he'd tell him.

"Not with me. Come on-we've got an hour drive ahead of us." Dan waited until Nathan had climbed into the Range Rover before making his own way in. He cranked the engine, wondering if the purr of the powerful machine would be all he had to listen to for the trip home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Back again, with chapter two. Next chapter will introduce Haley, who is a little OOC from the original show.**

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Two: Breakdown for a Breakthrough**

_We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance._**-Harrison Ford**

"So, got any questions for me?" Dan asked the sullen teenager, who, for the past fifteen minutes, had been staring out the window of the Range Rover. "I mean, I'm your father, and you know nothing about me-"

"That isn't exactly true, is it, though?" Nathan quietly murmured, not giving up his view of the scenery while Dan waited for him to continue. "I know that you left my mom and me. And I know that you're some rich guy."

"I didn't leave your Mom, Nathan. Despite what she might have told you, I asked for joint custody after you were born. I didn't growing up in the life that you did; your mother didn't want me helping out with her child," Dan responded. "I have a question for you. What's your favorite color?"

"You think it's gonna be that easy? That we're just gonna up and be pals?" Nathan snapped sarcastically. "Well-not exactly it. My mom might have been at fault, but you didn't go out of your way to do shit for me. Could you not have thought of calling on my birthday or sending me a Christmas card? I mean, I know you have two sons, but would that have been so hard?"

"No, it really wouldn't have been, and I'm sorry I didn't do it. And I'm sorry for not being there-"

"I didn't need you there. I just wanted to know that my father cared-well, my real father, at least. I had a perfectly adequate step dad that loved me more than enough."

Dan nodded, sending a silent prayer to God to give him strength as he got to know his son. For the rest of the ride, he remained silent, letting Nathan think. He didn't want to push his son; he wanted Nathan to come willingly, and right now he was fighting.

"Oh, holy hell," Nathan muttered, looking up at the opulent house Dan had parked by.

"That's one way to describe it; to me, it's home. And please don't cuss when you're inside: Karen doesn't like it," Dan chastised gently, sighing when Nathan hurriedly got out of the car. "And you don't want to upset Karen. Um, I think Lucas is home. Ignore him, talk to him, do anything but be rude to him, just like I told him."

"I'm sure you did," Nathan replied with a half-smirk, his eyes roaming the house. "And I'm sure you would come down just as hard on him as you would on me."

"Probably harder, Nathan. C'mon." Dan led his son inside, hearing the soft flow of jazz coming from the kitchen. His son slowly followed him to the kitchen, where a short, brown haired woman danced around, stirring some sauce. "Karen?" The woman stopped, looking at her husband, then at the brooding teen by his side. "Dancing?"

"What? You think I just stand by the stove and act all proper and prim?" Karen asked, her eyes still on Nathan. She stirred her sauce again, before coming forward, hugging the teen tight. "Hi, Nathan. It's good to meet you."

Nathan silenced his sarcastic snipe that was coming after glancing at his father. "Please don't touch me," he whispered, pulling away from the woman, looking at the hardwood floor. Karen's eyes drifted over the tall, lanky teenager, taking in his thin body and the shame he carried in his eyes. "I'm not a touchy-feely person," the teen tried to explain, backing away from them, almost as if he was expecting to run from the house through the back door. Not that he'd get far-the back yard was surrounded by a nine-foot high fence.

"Dan, why don't you show him to his room; dinner will be ready in twenty minutes," she instructed, her eyes warning him to leave his son alone. Obviously, the kid had a chip on his shoulder.

"C'mon, Nathan, let me show you the upstairs." Nathan nodded, following his father back to the main hall, up the circular stairs. "What do you think of the house?"

"It's big."

"Well, I hope you'll get used to it. Here-this is your room. I know it's off by itself, but it's the same size as Luke's, and we figured you'd probably want some room." He opened the door, watching Nathan gape at both the size and the utter lack of furniture. The room, lit now by just the sun pouring through, consisted of two separate sections, had a big, queen-sized bed frame, a mattress and a set of bed springs.

"What is this? Do you expect me to be Cinderella guy or something? Cook and clean for you all and live in this hellhole? Seriously, take me back to Juvy-I'd rather be there, anyway," Nathan yelled, tears falling from his eyes. "Better yet, call my mom! I don't want to be here!"

"Nathan, calm down. This isn't anything like that. Basically, I have every single amenity you could ever want in this room. Every time you do something good-whether it's going to probation or not cussing or going to school or helping Karen or me or…whatever…you'll get a piece of it. Consider it…an incentive," Dan explained, hearing a soft knock on the door, turning to see Lucas.

"Dad, you realize this is probably illegal not in just North Carolina, but in all fifty states?" his eldest son's comment made him smile, and he heard Nathan's soft chuckle. Lucas pressed forward, coming face to face with Nathan. "Hey. I'm Luke. Nice to finally meet you."

"Nathan. And I say it's nice, but-"

"Totally understandable. Listen, it's not so bad here. A little snotty, yeah, but not so bad." With that, Lucas turned and walked out, saying something about meeting a Haley for minigolf on the roof.

"And for that, you get your sheets," Dan added, leaving Nathan alone in his room. He looked around the foreign space, his hand touching the dark blue walls before he explored the bathroom and closet, his clothes from his house hanging up. He leaned against a wall, sliding down it to sit as the tears spilled over. He quickly brushed them away, not ready to realize the fact that he was crying.

But then, the tears couldn't be stopped, and he hugged, knees to his chest, forehead to his knees. And he cried.

**----In the End----**

"Nathan! Dinner's ready!" Dan called into his son's room, hand on the door knob. "Nathan?" He twisted the door knob, opening the door. The bed, freshly made with black sheets and a black comforter, remained unused, and Dan headed to the bathroom. He heard a sound from the closet, and he moved closer, peering into the small room. Tears were fresh on his son's face, and he had cried himself to sleep. "Nathan, wake up, buddy. Dinner's done, if you want some."

"I'm not hungry." Dan jumped a little as Nathan opened his eyes. "Can you please leave me alone?"

"So, if you don't want dinner, let's have a talk," Dan suggested, sitting across from his son. "I was looking through your file-"

"You know when you start a sentence like that, I feel like shit, so, what do you want?"

"There was a report in there from when your stepfather die-"

"I was caught with six different types of drugs-cocaine, speed, crack, LSD, heroin and antidepressants," Nathan added, looking away from his father. "I guess you're lucky they found me before I took them all."

"Are you suicidal?"

"I was for a while. I caused my mom a bunch of grief she didn't deserve. That's when she lost her job and we lost our house. So basically, I'm the cause of all our problems. So maybe I deserve to be here," he whispered. "For putting my mom through hell."

"Nathan, this isn't a punishment," Dan chastised. "Look around you-you have everything at your fingertips here!"

"I don't want everything at my fingertips! I haven't had it before and I don't need it now! I've got to work for what I want-or else I'm gonna become some lazy-$$ bum who sneaks money from his quote-unquote parents to buy drugs. At least I work for the mone-"

"There will be no more drugs, Nathan. If I catch you with them, there **will** be hell to pay. If you fail your drug testing, you're going back to jail, I can't get you out of that situation."

"I've been in it before, Dan."

"I saw. But I don't want that for you anymore. And you know what? You shouldn't want that for yourself, either."

"So inspirational; save it for your _son_-or at least the one who you care about. Now I told you, I'm not hungry-would you please just leave me alone?" Nathan begged, not looking at his father. "I know I can't leave the house; so I'm pretty good on the not-running-away part."

"Fine. But, if you want some food…"

"I'm pretty sure I won't get lost; and if I do, it'll only be for a couple minutes; after all, I've been clean for a week."

Dan felt his heart breaking, wishing Nathan would break, would fall and spiral downward soon, so he could build him up. He knew his son would fall, because his life was made for the failure that Nathan simply was not.

He made his way downstairs, giving a half-hearted smile to the other half of his family. "Nathan's not joining us?" Lucas asked somberly, looking up the stairs.

"Not tonight-well, maybe later, but not right now," Dan tried to explain, sitting at his spot.

"So, I guess he can't come with us to the father-son pre-season basketball game?"

"I don't think he'd want to go anyway, Lucas."

"Why? Why doesn't he like you, Dad? He seemed like a good guy-"

"Luke, he has a right. Unlike you and your mom, I wasn't there for them-not by choice. You've heard the story before-" Dan trailed off, thanking Karen as she set the spaghetti in front of them. "If he doesn't come down, I'll take him some food up there," he told her as she glanced at him in concern.

**----In the End----**

Nathan never came down for dinner.

Dan watched as Karen finished microwaving the spaghetti for Nathan, giving him a wry smile. "Do you think he'll turn out okay?" he asked her, taking the bowl from her.

"I think with us here, there's no reason he shouldn't be, Dan. He seems like a good kid that just got off on the wrong path somewhere and he's fighting to get back to the right one," she replied, kissing his cheek. "Tell him I said to sleep well and that he better be a breakfast."

"I will." Dan took the bowl of food and the bottle of water, climbing the stairs. He heard vague yelling from behind the closed door of the study, an extra bedroom they had converted. He set the food down, stepping closer to the door.

"No, Mom! I don't want-" he could hear the frustration in his son's voice as he tried talking with his mother. "Mom! What? I didn't kill him! You can't blame me for that!" By now, Nathan was yelling, his voice turning from frustration to anger. "I didn't hit the fucking car!"

_The accident._ He knew what happened that night-at least what Nathan's file had told him. Apparently, Nathan's stepfather, Gary, had been traveling down the interstate when he was struck head on by a drunk driver. Gary had died instantly, and that's when Nathan, then twelve, began having problems.

"Mom, please! Mom! I called you to help me-you're done? What the hell does that mean? Am I just-Am I not your kid anymore? You're gonna dump me on someone else when you can't deal with the problems? God-that not what a mother-no-mom-"

Dan cringed as he heard the phone splinter against the wall, his son's hand connecting with the same wall. He opened the door, coming face to face with the distressed teen. "I take it that that didn't go to well??" Dan ventured, shutting the heavy wooden door behind him to give them some privacy.

"She got fired-apparently, she showed up to work drunk one too many times," Nathan answered quietly, cerelian eyes still on the phone. "And she's got a new boyfriend- a reall jackass that's gonna get really 'far' in life."

"But you were arguing about-"

"I wanted to go home, and she kindly informed me that because I was a screw-up, I wasn't welcomed anymore," his voice was hoarse, as if he wanted to cry but he needed to be a man. "Am I really that bad?"

"No, Nathan. You aren't bad, and you aren't a screw-up-"

"But I have to be something for even my own damn mother not to want me." He sounded like a lost, scared six-year-old, begging for the acceptance of others. Dan couldn't fight the urge to hug his son, to try and comfort him in some small way. His son leaned into his body, searching more for the touch of a caring parent than anything.

"You are **not** a screw-up," Dan soothed, feeling the boy's body jerk as the tears began to flow. "Sssh, buddy-I'll make this all right."

Nathan laughed harshly, pushing away from his father, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "Sure. Sure you will. Just like you've been making my life right for the past sixteen years?" With the cutting blow, Nathan left the room, leaving his confounded father behind.

**Don't worry; Nathan's not totally hopeless yet. R&R, please**


	4. Chapter 4

**summary: **He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Three: A Little Bit of Something**

_Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken._**-Henri Nouwen**

"Haley, careful with your foot! Don't lose the point as you land the jump! You'll kill your leg doin' that!" Haley James' amber eyes watched her dance instructor intently as she corrected the foot, feeling her partner, Alec's, arms readjust to keep her up. She touched his arm, signaling to him to bring her down from the elegant, statuesque hold. "You must keep that foot pointed or you won't land your jump and you'll probably end up breaking your foot in the process."

"Yes, ma'am," Haley breathed out, glancing at the clock. "Can we run the opening again, one more time?" Alec nodded, giving her a wry smile. She took his offered hand, making her way back to her point of origin, the middle of the dance floor, as the popular rock ballad started.

"And one…and one…and one and two and three and four…" Haley counted off, feeling Alec's hand on her waist, ready for their opening throw, "and five and six and seven and eight-" She felt herself being propelled into the air, her body spinning as her legs kicked out in a split. She willed herself to keep her feet pointed as she landed on her right foot, tightening the muscles in her leg to stop her body, leaving her left foot in the air, high above her body. Alec's hand reached for the middle of her back, cradling her as she flipped into the move, right knee bent on his chest, left leg perfectly pointed in an arabesque behind her. Her left foot grasped for the floor as her right landed, Alec's hands support hers. As soon as she landed, left leg went back into a----

"HALEY! GET UP! YOU'RE ALARM'S BEEN GOING OFF FOR THIRTY MINUTES!" Her eyes slammed open as she reached a groggy hand out to turn off her alarm clock, turning in her bed, knowing that she would not be able to go back to sleep. She sat up, so tired, glancing at the twelve or so pill bottles that were sitting on her bedside table. Four months ago, a bottle of vitamins, maybe some Tylenol or Advil, would have been sitting there. That was four months before she had gotten sick and had to undergo a kidney and a partial liver transplant-when she used to dance for hours of the day, when she remembered more than hospital rooms and surgeries.

She grimace as she got out of bed, hand going to her back, feeling the bandages covering the incision. "Mom, I'm up!" she called, feeling the pain begin. Her hand shook as she reached out to open the pill bottles, pouring one or two out, depending on the dose. She swallowed them all in one gulp before using her grip on the nightstand to push herself up, letting the dizziness settle before she opened her eyes.

"Honey, Lucas is here!" her mother called as there was a knock on her door, and her blonde best friend came into the room

"Hales, you're looking good," Lucas greeted, hugging his friend tight.

"I feel like crap," she replied good naturedly, walking slowly to her dresser. "How's your brother? You said he was joining the family-"

"Not so good. He's…a typical depressed teenager that is getting a dose of non-reality that he doesn't like?" Lucas suggested, sitting on Haley's bed as she went to her bathroom to change into a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a t-shirt. It's what she wore most days-they didn't rub against her bandages, and they didn't make them itch. She slowly moved on to brushing her teeth and her hair, concentrating on the motions rather than the pain that she often succumbed to in the morning. "Are you sure you're okay to meet him today?"

"Yeah. You know me-I'm always pretty bad in the mornings. Give me an hour for all those pills to kick in, and I'll be good as gold," she replied, coming out of the bathroom. "What do you mean a 'dose of non-reality'? I mean, I know you live in a pretty freakin' big house-"

"Oh, c'mon-Nathan lived in drug paradise, apparently. Our house is a Godsend that he doesn't want," Lucas explained. "At least not right now." Haley nodded, slipping her feet into her comfy, worn Birkenstocks. "What do you want to do today, Hales? Your choice."

"I want to meet your brother."

"Okay, then, we'll meet Nathan. It isn't as if he has anything else to do-he's under house arrest until his hearing." He stood, helping her down the hall, and down the steps. "Maybe he'll play some one-on-one with me."

"Great. Stick me with playing cheerleader. Don't you have a cheerleader girlfriend?" Haley asked, grinning. Lydia watched the two friends from the kitchen, smiling. Haley had had a rough couple of months, and it was good to see that someone could still make her bright and happy.

"What are you two doing today?" Lydia asked, setting a bagel in front of Haley. With her recent surgeries, she had little, if any, appetite in the mornings.

"Going to Luke's house; I'm gonna meet his brother," Haley replied, looking at the bagel unpleasantly before taking a small bite.

"His brother? Luke, when'd you get a brother?"

"He came from Juvy yesterday-wasn't a very pleasant meeting. But, he's cool."

"Ah. Okay. Take care of my daughter; Haley, make sure you take your meds with you; you have to have them with lunch." Haley nodded, finishing her bagel. "I will be so glad when my back stops hurting. I feel like an old lady."

"At least you don't look like one, Hales." She smirked at Lucas, letting him help her up as her mother handed her a zip-loc bag of her pills. "Give these to Karen-at least I know she'll make you take them." Haley nodded, taking the bag.

"I'll be back…sometime…love you, Mom," Haley called, following Luke out to his truck.

At the house, Nathan sat at the kitchen table, staring at the bowl of cereal in front of him. Karen had offered to cook him something, but he hadn't responded. He was in a bad mood, as per usual at eight o'clock in the morning, and the nice little heart-to-heart Dan had tried to have with him before leaving the house for the dealership didn't help.

"So, Nathan, what's your favorite food?" He looked up at Karen, who had taken a seat across from him. "C'mon, now, Mr. Surly teenager man, favorite food?"

"Um...whatever comes in a box and I can microwave."

"Ah, the typical man. What's your favorite non-microwavable food?"

"Pizza, I guess."

"Again, the typical male answer. So, what were your favorite classes at school last year?"

"Um…AP US History and I happened to like my Chem class," Nathan replied.

"Chemistry? That what Luke took last year."

"It can be interesting."

"So, I'm gonna go Monday and get you registered for school. I need to know your previous high school-"

"Was I supposed to look at that the days I was sober?" Nathan joked. "Tucker High, Raleigh."

"Okay. They'll get your transcripts, place you in the appropriate classes-" Karen stopped as the back door opened and Lucas and Haley came in. She patted Nathan's arm, standing to go hug Haley, who she hadn't seen since the girl got sick. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better. My mom told me to give you the pills so that I take them," the girl answered, handing Karen the baggie, her eyes on the back of Nathan's head. "Hi!" she called, making her way slowly to the table. "I'm Haley."

"Uh…hi," he whispered, giving her a small wave. "I'm Nathan. You realize you just handed her lots of good painkillers?"

"Another connoisseur of good pain pills, I see."

"You could say that," Nathan said, finishing the last bite of his cereal. "Why do you have so many drugs?"

"I'm sick."

"You're sick?"

"I got really sick a couple months ago-something combined with pneumonia, and I had to have a liver and a kidney transplant. The painkillers are for the fact that everything still hurts."

"I'd say I'm sorry, but you're probably sick of hearing it," Nathan said, standing up. He started to leave the room, but Lucas grabbed his forearm. "What?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to play some one-on-one with me? Do you like playing basketball?"

"I was gonna go to the pool-I've never been in one," Nathan replied, suddenly ashamed of his past. He looked down at the tile on the floor, then back up at his brother. It wasn't as hard as he thought, being nice to his brother. They had a lot in common, and adding to it their love of basketball, he wasn't sure there was anything to _dislike_ about Lucas.

"Cool. We can set up the net in the pool-have ourselves a little dunk from the diving board contest?"

"Sure."

"Hales, you okay with taking a dip in the pool?"

"I guess I'll have to be. Not like I can do much else," she answered, standing up. "Karen, will you come get me at noon so I can start swallowing all those things?" The older woman nodded, looking at the two boys.

"Nathan do you have suit? I just realized that we'll need to go shopping-but you can't. We'll have to-"

"I have a swimsuit, Karen. I think."

"Just take one of Lucas' for now-you two look about the same size. I'll pick you up one at the store tomorrow. And when we get time, we'll go get you a suit-a real one-"

"I don't need one of those, Karen-"

"Yes, you will. At least for Dan's annual Christmas party. And you'll need one for dances and stuff-"

"I don't get to go to dances and stuff, Karen."

"Well, you will at some point. Just, stop arguing with me!" she said, giving him a smile. "Go-you guys have fun outside. I'll be here doing bills." Lucas nodded, surprised when Nathan followed him upstairs, to his room. It was lavishly furnished, and Lucas off-handedly wondered if Nathan was jealous.

"So, here-I got a black and blue one and a white and orange one. You can pick."

"I don't care, Luke. Just give me one or the other." Luke handed him the white one, watching him leave the room, noticing the dark bruise just covered by his shirt's collar. He wondered if he had gotten that in Juvy, or if it was an old reminder of Nathan's previous life.

**----In The End----**

"Lucas Scott! What did you do to him?" Nathan smirked and gave a little laugh as she took the towel of the bleeding gash right above his left eye. "Nathan, wipe that smirk off your face. What happened?"

"We were playin' ball-kinda like HORSE in the pool, but it was a dunk-from-the-dive contest and Nathan took a running start and kinda hit the backboard with his face-"

"And I still managed to get the ball in."

"At least I didn't manage to almost kill myself in the process-"

"All right you two, stop! Lucas, got get me the first aid kit and a bowl of hot water and a rag. Nathan, sit in the chair, and keep that towel on your eye. What were you two thinking, placing a dunking contest in the pool? You could have killed yourselves!"

"Mom, our pool is not that dangerous-"

"And what if one of you had slipped and hit your head on the side?"

"Mom-"

"Just go get the first-aid kit, Lucas. Haley, will you grab them some t-shirts? They're in the laundry room. And some towels, if you can find it." Karen took the towel off Nathan's face, using the water Lucas had brought to clean out the wound, noticing Nathan trembling beneath her. "Sssh, sweetie, it's okay," Karen soothed, wiping at the cut with the warm water and the alcohol. "I'm not going to hurt you." She felt Nathan tense up, as if admitting to a dark secret she was pretty sure he possessed.

"I'm-"

"Well, Nathan, I don't think you'll need to go to the hospital. We'll put some butterfly stitches on it-you'll probably have a black eye, but you should be fine," she reassured him, looking at the inch-wide gash, going across his eyebrow. "Were you having fun?" Nathan smiled, and she knew he was. "Well, next time don't do the running start."

"Oh, next time I have a back flip planned," Nathan replied, his voice a little unsteady as Karen continue to swab at the wound with the alcohol. "Are you almost-almost done?"

"Hold still, Nathan, or this is going to take a lot longer."

"Mom…c'mon….hurry up! We can go back out and finish this game so I can school his a---butt, I mean butt, in the ways of dunk-from-the-dive…" Lucas whined, sounding to Nathan more like a two-year-old.

"Lucas, there will be no more dunk-from-the-dive today. Nathan needs to keep that thing from getting wet for a couple of hours, and while he can lounge around in the pool, there will be no-and I mean _no_ more pool basketball. Do you understand?" Lucas nodded his head vehemently, looking at his brother with wide-eyes.

"She's crazy when she uses that tone of voice, man-just crazy!" Nathan's smirk grew to a wide-tooth grin, and Haley smiled, too, catching Lucas' eye.

"Hey, Nathan, where'd you live before this?" Haley asked suddenly, making the other three in the room turn to look at her. "What? It's a simple question. Where'd you live before you came here?"

"Uh…Raleigh."

"That's not that far away. What'd you do for fun?"

"Um…nothing to do with a pool."

"Okay. So…what'd you do?"

"Um…fun is not exactly the word I'd use to describe my life, anything in it, or anything I did, so let's just end it there."

"Enough said," Haley answered, looking at Nathan. She noticed that behind those gorgeous blue eyes there were sparks of pain, of regret-like his past was something he should be ashamed of. She wondered what it was, and if he'd ever forget it.

**----In The End----**

Dan opened the door, surprised to not hear yelling or screaming throughout his house. He dropped the briefcase by the stairs, hearing soft talking from the kitchen. He had gotten a call at work from Nathan's case worker, who had told him that he should be expecting a visit that night. After explaining about Nathan's room situation, he had told the case worker to come on by. "Karen?" he called, walking through the house, surprised to see Nathan and Lucas, having a soft conversation. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, Dad," Lucas answered, giving his father a smile. "How was work?"

"Fine. What are you making, Nathan?"

"Spaghetti."

"Wow. I didn't know you could cook. I hope you made enough for an extra person-your case worker is stopping by tonight." Lucas and Dan gasped as the spoon Nathan was holding clattered into the pot. He turned to his father, eyes wide, and Dan gasped again. "What happened? They're going to think I'm beating you or something."

"Don't worry, they've seen pictures of me beaten, and this doesn't even come close." Nathan stopped talking as soon as he realized what he said, the information he offered to his father, then returned to stirring his spaghetti. "I hate my case worker. Every time I see her, I get a whole lot of bull about how no one wants to help me because I'm a piece of crap, apparently."

"Well, she's wrong, Nathan. And if you think we're done with the conversation about that little comment you made, you are far from the truth. Now, what happened to your eye?"

"Nathan and I-we were playing a little dunk-from-the-dive…and he overshot it, a little."

"No offense, but I think he did a little more than overshoot it. Where's your mom?"

"She took Haley home. She wasn't feeling well after she took those pills of hers'. So, Nathan said he'd cook and she took Hales home," Lucas explained, looking at his brother, who was shaking. Lucas wondered if it was for fear of what was to come, or for fear of what he'd be forced to reveal tonight.

**Next-dinner with the case worker.**


	5. Chapter 5

**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Four: Fine Is a Four Letter Word for Reality**

"Nathan's file for you, Mr. Scott." Tiffany Griffin said, handing Dan a thick file. "I don't know why you'd want it-he's a screwup-always has been, always will b-"

"Let's remember you're talking about my son-" Dan cautioned the woman, opening the door to his house for her. "Nathan's already pretty upset being here, and he hasn't had that long to adjust."

"I realize that, Mr. Scott. I'm here to observe, that is all," the woman sniped, coming into the house. Even from the kitchen, Nathan stiffened; he had always hated his case worker.

"Nathan, will you please take the salad to the dining room?" Karen said, trying to distract him. He nodded, grabbing the bowl, walking slowly, systematically to the dining room, nearly freezing up when he saw his case worker.

As they sat for dinner, tensions crackled throughout the room. Tiffany hadn't even bothered to ask about the bruise and cut on Nathan's face, and from his son's previous comment, Dan wondered if it was because of the previous abuse. "How do you like it here, Nathan?" Tiffany asked, pulling out her notepad.

"It's fine."

"And your relationship with your brother?"

"It's fine."

"Karen?"

"Fine?"

"Your father?"

"_Dan_ and my relationship is fine. Everything here is fine."

"You have a mouth on you, young man. How'd you get that black eye Nathan? I mean, the last time it was your mouth, and the time before that, and the time before that-"

"I really think you ought to stop talking before you dig yourself a hole I'll bury you in," Dan threatened quietly, watching Karen grip Nathan's clenched fist, calmly running her fingers over his wrist, trying to coax his hand open to take hers'. "I'll be putting in a request for Nathan to change case workers tomorrow. If you'll just leave, we're sorry for wasting your time."

"You realize he's not gonna go anywhere? He deserves to be in jail, or in some group home, learning to mind, instead of in this cushy house to be spoiled and pampered-" she stopped talking as the sound of a glass shattering on the floor caught all their attention. Nathan looked at the glass he had dropped, then his shaking hand, before standing up and leaving the table. Dan turned on the case worker, anger not only in his words, but combined with hate in his eyes.

"I want the name of your boss and I want you out of my house before I decide to punch you. Why would you ever say something like that to him?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but his meaning clear. He stood, pointing to the door. "If you need help trying to find the door, my wife might be inclined." He departed, up the steps, after Nathan.

The upset teen was throwing things around in his room, the door closed; he was not sure if he had locked it on not. "Where is it? God damn it, where is it?" Dan heard his son mutter as he opened the door, surprising Nathan, who clutched the little baggie of white powder tight in his hand. Dan tried to hide his disappointment as he shut the door behind him.

"Nathan, give me that," he said coolly, holding out an upturned palm, eyes boring into Nathan's.

"No. I need-I just-to get away."

"Son, those aren't gonna solve anything. If anything, it's gonna make it worse. C'mon, give it to me; show me your stronger than that bitch downstairs or that powder that has to change you to make you get away. Show me-don't use that crap," Dan coaxed, keeping his hand open. The sixteen-year-old looked unassured at the bag, then to Dan's hand before cautiously giving it to Nathan. "I'm proud of you."

"She got to me. I told myself I wouldn't let her get to me, and yet…there she was, ruining my life-or what little I've tried to build," Nathan offered as his explanation, sitting on his bed.

"I'm gonna get you a new case worker, Nathan-someone who cares."

"Don't make promises, okay? People don't keep promises-they never have."

"I keep mine, Nathan. This isn't your old life-this isn't Raleigh. This is your chance to start over, and I'll do everything I can to help-that I promise you."

**----In The End----**

"So she totally just degraded him in front of you?" Haley asked into the phone, glancing up from the apple she had been eating. "What a bitch."

"Well, yeah. Poor Nathan-he like froze and took off upstairs-I haven't seen him since."

"Hum. You want me to come over? We can have All Night Film Fest."

"Sure, if you want."

"I'll see if Mom can drop me off on her way to Bingo night. So, Nathan cooked?"

"Yeah. Good food, too…spaghetti and bread. We have some leftovers, if you want."

"I'll be there soon. And try to convince that brother of yours to come out and join us. Tell him I'll protect him." With Lucas laughing, she hung up the phone, slowly making her way downstairs.

At the Scott house, Karen was finishing putting up the last of the spaghetti when Dan came downstairs, quickly throwing away the small, plastic bag. "What was that?" she asked quietly, her brown eyes boring into her husband's.

"The drugs he was going to take."

"Well, I think tonight means he should at least get a desk and his entertainment system," she commented. "I'm proud of him, really. He handled himself fairly well."

"He'll get them, don't worry. Lucas said Haley's coming over tonight."

"Okay. I'm gonna go get the family room ready, then. Will you make sure I got all the glass up?"

"Sure. Then why don't we try out that new tub of ours-"

"Dad, I really don't need to hear that coming from your mouth ever again," Lucas commented, coming into the kitchen. "I tried to get Nathan to come down-he didn't want to."

"I need to talk to him anyway. You have fun with Haley tonight, Luke," Dan patted his son on the shoulder, kissing his wife's forehead.

Dan opened Nathan's door, surprised to see the room empty. He looked around before going to the bathroom, then the closet. Nathan sat beneath his clothes, staring at the wall. "I don't think I would have taken the drugs," he whispered, looking at his father.

"I have faith that you wouldn't have," Dan replied, sitting by his son, remembering the night before, their conversation about their relationship. "You aren't a screw-up, Nathan. No matter what anyone says. Sure, you have your moments when you're down and you feel like the world's against you-but all of us feel like that. I felt that way the moment I found out I had a son I wasn't gonna know."

"Was that some subtle way to try and improve the relationship we don't have?" Nathan asked, glancing at his father.

"I think so. I take it it didn't' work?"

"No. It's gonna take more than that," Nathan replied. "I thought case workers were supposed to be…helpful."

"She probably has a lot on her plate, Nathan-" he stopped, realizing it wasn't what Nathan wanted to hear. "And I know that doesn't make up for it-I'm sorry she said that to you." The kid shrugged. "You want to explain about all those references to your past life?"

"Not really, no."

"Okay. Why don't you go downstairs, join Haley and Lucas for their movie fest? I think you'll have fun."

"If I go, will you leave me alone?" Dan laughed, patting Nathan on the shoulder.

"Sure, buddy. Have fun-you seem like you don't get to do that very often." Nathan nodded, giving his father a smile. "You have a good time, kiddo." He stood up, leaving his son to think.

**----In The End----**

Haley hugged Nathan as he sat beside her, feeling him tighten up beside her. "Nathan, I'm not gonna hurt you," she whispered in his ear, her big brown eyes boring into his blue ones. "I don't know what you went through, I don't know who hurt you, and I certainly don't know who broke you, but none of that's gonna happen anymore."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Fine is a word you use as a cover that doesn't cover so much-I should know. Fine doesn't cover infection, and fine doesn't cover pain."

"Fine is what you say when it's relative," Nathan whispered, thankful that Lucas came into the room with popcorn and a couple of movies.

"Hey, Man," Lucas greeted, sitting on the other side of his brother, trapping him.

"Hey," Nathan answered, taking the coke Lucas offered him.

"So, I'd totally let you choose the movie, but I told Haley we could watch one of her chick flick's-" Nathan didn't answer, moving away from the two other teenagers, up to the couch that they had been resting their backs on. Haley and Lucas exchanged looks but didn't ask questions. "Haley, you had better not make me watch _The Notebook_ again, or I'm going to call Peyton and leave your ass by yourself to watch the movie."

"Where is Peyt?"

"She went to Savannah to visit her brother, Jake, and his wife and their daughter. She'll be back the week before school for the summer party Dad's gonna have." At the mention of the party, Lucas glanced to Nathan, whose eyes remained on the TV screen.

"Really? I thought his wife was the one that took off to Texas-"

"No. That was Ken's wife-Nicki. Jake's married to Anna and has Jenny. Gosh, Haley, can't you keep up with the Jones'?"

"There are fifty million Sawyers to keep up with-I'm sorry!" she exclaimed sarcastically, punching Lucas' shoulder. "Nathan, has Lucas told you about his girlfriend?" Nathan shook his head, looking away as Haley started in on her story.

**----In The End----**

"Um, am I speaking to Miller Standish?" Dan asked, glancing at the clock on his desk.

"Yes. I'm assuming this is Mr. Scott?"

"Yeah. I need to file a complaint about one of your social workers-and get my son a new one who's not going to deprecate him."

"Of course, Mr. Scott. Who is your son?"

"Nathan Lee. His case worker was Tiffany Griffin. I don't want that lady coming anywhere near him again-"

"Of course, Mr. Scott. This isn't the first complaint we've had about her. I'm assuming Nathan still needs his preliminary meeting. I'm assigning Greg Lennox to Nathan's case. Greg is a great social worker-he'll stop by tonight to see Nathan."

"Okay. Thank you-"

"No problem, Mr. Scott. I am so sorry for Ms. Griffin's inappropriate behavior, and I can reassure you that Greg come with above adequate recommendations. He'll be at your at seven."

Dan said his good-byes, hanging up the phone, again looking at the time. He had to pick Nathan up for his first meeting with his probation officer, and Dan had some questions of his own, including the procedure so that Nathan could go to the doctor.

"How's your son, Dan?" his secretary, Sarah, asked as he left his office, locking his door behind him.

"Which one?"

"Nathan?"

"The past two days have been…stressed. He's still getting used to everything, and we as a family freak him out…it's just gonna be a lot of work," Dan answered truthfully. "But I think if I can get through to him…who knows?"

"Okay. Um…if you have a call, you're in a meeting, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Sarah…I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Nathan was waiting for Dan in the living room, turning a quarter around in his hands. "Hey, buddy," Dan called, watching the teen flinch. "It's just me, Nate. You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Nathan whispered, standing up. He was always nervous with the probation officer-they always asked questions that he wasn't prepared for, questions he hated answering-questions about his home life and his past.

"And you have another case worker coming by tonight. I talked with the manager, I guess, and he assured me what happened last night won't be happening again-"

"I hate case workers."

"Well, if they figure you're well adjusted, we won't have many of these visits, right? How many did you have with your mom?"

"I didn't. Unless of course I ended up in the hospital-then there were questions to answer. I just hate that part."

"Why?"

"Have you ever had someone delve into your personal life and try to analyze it the whole time? It's horrible-and then they draw conclusions off of the little, tiny morsel you feed them," Nathan replied, pocketing the quarter. "They pretend that they know you and they don't."

Dan nodded, following his son out the door, to the car. "You and Lucas share your smarts in common."

"What are you talking about, Dan?"

"Both you and Luke are intelligent-or at least with your words."

Nathan was too busy staring out the window, taking in the sights of Tree Hill. He barely noticed when they pulled into the parking lot of the small building, a simple "Probation Office" sign out front. "What time is my appointment?"

"11:00. If you need to sit here a minute-"

"No, what I need is some weed or something. I don't need this," Nathan said offhandedly, mentally reprimanding himself for the comment. "And I really need to keep my mouth shut."

"You're nervous-"

"Not the time to be bonding, believe me. It's nice to see you making an effort, so-" Nathan shrugged, opening the door. Dammit, why did that family have to be so damn likeable?

"C'mon, buddy-we're going to 212-Paul Windsor," Dan instructed, wondering if it would be to much to put a comforting hand on Nathan's shoulder, deciding it would be.

Paul Windsor was studying Nathan's case file as there was a knock on the door and it opened, the teen and his father coming in. "Hey, Nathan. Come on in, have a seat. Mr. Scott, you can wait outside…this generally goes better without the parents here."

"Of course. I just need to talk to you about doctor's appointments and how he can go to one."

"Of course. I'll talk to you after our meeting." Dan nodded, and with a look at Nathan, left the small room as the teen sat nervously in a seat.

"Okay, just to start off, you can call me Paul, and I'm assuming you go by Nathan? Good. I'm not really hear to be your friend, son-you screwed up, and I'm here to make sure you don't do it again by regulating what you do and testing to make sure you aren't doing any illegal drugs. Each week, you will have at least one drug test-whenever I decide. If you fail one at any time, I will have to call the cops to arrest you for failure to comply with your probation. I will be at your next court appointment, and basically, if you act in accordance to what the judge told you, you can get off house arrest and some of your other restrictions. You understand me so far?" Nathan didn't look up at the man, but he nodded. "Nathan, you can look at me. Just realize as long as you don't do anything illegal or violate your restrictions, you'll be good to go in a couple of weeks."

Paul paused, sitting back at his desk, opening Nathan's file. "So, how old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"And you're a-"

"I'll be a junior in high school."

"Okay. I heard that your father just recently took custody-"

"He did. It's awkward."

"I bet. Everything okay there? I notice you got quite the shiner going on there-"

"I hit my head on the backboard of the basketball goal in the pool when I was playing a dunk-from-the-dive contest with Lucas. I overshot the goal-don't take a running start," Nathan explained. "I made the shot, though."

"Are you interested in playing basketball?"

"I'm good at it," Nathan replied. "I played my freshman year-on Varsity."

"So, are you thinking about maybe playing basketball at your new high school?"

"I hadn't really thought about it. I haven't actually thought about what I'm doing tomorrow, let alone six months from now."

"Okay. How are you getting along with your new brother? He's about yoru age, right?"

"He's three months older. We get along fine. I mean, as well as expected."

"You just want to get this over with, don't you?"

"A little, yeah." Nathan's nails bit into his skin as he scratched his wrist.

"Go pee in the cup and we're done. Charlie's waiting out side to accompany you to the bathroom, so go, shoo." Nathan grabbed the cup, grumbling as he left the room, Dan coming back in. "Mr. Scott, you had a question?"

"My wife and I want Nathan to get a physical done, but since he's only allowed to go to your office and court-"

"Just call me with the date and I'll tell the judge so that no one comes to arrest him," Paul reassured the man. "How are you two getting along?"

"Good, I guess. His first appointment with his case worker didn't go so well, so we have a new case worker coming over tonight. Greg Lennox."

"Greg's a good guy. He works with a lot of kids that come here, so I've gotten to know him pretty well." They stopped as Nathan came back into the room, discretely putting the cup on the desk. "Okay, then. I'll see you next week, same time, same place?" Nathan nodded, biting his bottom lip in nervousness as Dan and he left.

"What's wrong, Nathan? You look a little pale," Dan commented, getting inot the driver's seat.

"Just hoping I passed that."

"I'm sure you did, unless you've been taking something-"

"I haven't."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

"But what if there's something in there-"

"Stop worrying about it. Besides, I thought you told me you'd rather be in jail than living with me. Have you changed your mine so quickly?"

"Yeah, right." Dan smirked, his head barely hiding the glee of he realization that Nathan had just made his first steps to becoming part of the family.

**next: Nathan and Haley spend some one-on-one time together, and the Scott family gets closer**


	6. Chapter 6

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the incredible long wait! I have had writer's block, and this chapter is a true testament to that. Hopefully, the next one will be better.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Five: Conversations of Ramblings**

_As soon as you begin to believe in something, then you can no longer see anything else._**-Pema Chödrön**

"Another dinner? I'm hoping it ends better than the last one," Lucas commented to Nathan as he sat on his bed, watching his brother watch the rain that had begun to fall. "Who's the person this time?"

"Um…some guy…Greg something or another," Nathan replied, barely glancing at his brother as he shrugged off his t-shirt, pulling on his only polo shirt, which Karen had gotten him earlier in the day. Lucas cringed when he saw up close how thin Nathan was. "I'm sorry about the movie thing last night-I'm just not…"

"It's fine, Nathan. We get that you're not exactly comfortable with us-and we completely understand why."

"How can you take it all in stride? If our positions were switched, I wouldn't be able to hold it together. I think I'd be pissed and I think I'd judge prematurely and make snide comments and embarrass the living hell out of you," Nathan tried to explain, adjusting the shirt. "So how or why aren't you those things?"

"Nathan, neither one of us can help this situation-we were just born; we didn't cause it, and we're certainly not adding to it. So what right to I have to deny you as my brother? Or what right do I have to embarrass you or humiliate you? I guess that's how I look at it. Plus, I kinda like having you around. My question is how do you look at our situation?"

"I don't know. I see that side of it, and I also see the side that says I don't have a right to be here and Dan didn't have a right to try and bring me here. So…I guess I'm just-I'm so confused," Nathan replied, sitting by his brother as he pulled on his shoes. "But, honestly, truth be told, I won't ever repeat it, I like him."

"Who? Dad?"

"Yeah. I like the fact that he gave me a family that I like-at least after I lost my step dad."

"I take it he was a good person-your step dad?"

"One of the best. I miss him. But it was a long time ago. I heard earlier about Peyton, but I wasn't exactly listening-"

"Peyton's my girlfriend. She's in Savannah with her brother right now-she'll be back before school starts. And she's a cheerleader. Haley's a little…prejudice against her because of that fact. She detests cheerleaders-and yet two of her closest friends are the captains of the varsity competition squad-"

"How ironic," Nathan quipped, smirking, the smile fading as he heard the doorbell. He slowly made his way out of the room, hearing Dan open the front door. He bypassed the foyer, to the kitchen, where Karen was pulling out some baked chicken. "Hey, Karen," he whispered, sitting at the counter. "What did you cook?"

"Baked chicken and seasoned rice. If you're gonna go through this again, then I'm gonna make sure you eat well," Karen said, kissing his cheek. "Now, go meet your case worker. You'll be fine."

"That's what you say," Nathan mumbled, standing up, making his way to the foyer, straining to hear what was going on.

"-As you can see, I have plenty of room for the two boys. Nathan's room is upstairs-are you going to need to see it?"

"Not if his observation goes okay. How long has he been here, again?"

"Um…four days? No…three. Monday, Tuesday, and now today," Dan answered, leaning against the wall. "It's been a hectic three days, though."

"And how long have you had custody of Nathan? I just want to make sure this is all right in the file," Greg explained, looking around the immaculate foyer.

"Almost a week."

"And you have another son, correct?" Dan nodded. "How do Nathan and him get along?"

"Pretty well…they're relationship is much better than say Nathan's and mine-I think it's because they can relate more to one another," Dan replied hesitantly.

"It's okay, Mr. Scott-I enjoy an honest answer. Where is Nathan?"

"I'm right here," Nathan ventured to say, revealing himself. "Hi."

"Hey. I'm Greg-it's nice to meet you. How's your day been?"

"Stressed."

"Mine would be, too, if I had to do this. Why don't we go somewhere and talk for a little bit-?"

"You can use my office, Nate, or the study, or-"

"Can we go out by the pool?" Dan nodded, leading the group outside. "Um, I come get y'all when dinner's ready." Nathan sat on the edge of the pool, resting his feet in the water, his blue eyes on the water.

"I guess you might want to get the first question over with-I'm sure you're tired of answering it. Where'd you get the bruise?" Greg asked, sitting at the table, opening Nathan's file.

"Lucas and I were playing basketball in the pool-or we were taking shots as we jumped off the diving board. I hit the backboard-overshot it because I took a running start," Nathan whispered.

"How do you like the house?"

"It's big, I guess. It's…nice not to have to worry about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"When my mom's coming home-if she's coming home-" his voice trailed off, as if stopping before revealing a secret. "I know for a fact that Karen'll be coming home at eight and Dan won't stay at the office all night."

"You don't call him Dad?"

"Should I? No offense, but we don't really have a relationship like that right now. It's more like…aquaintancey? I've known the man for four days. It's hard-you people say teenagers should be grateful, but you try getting thrown into a situation you aren't familiar with and see what happens."

"I don't doubt it, Nathan. It's not easy, but it's better than what you were in? I mean, your relationsihip with Dan isn't _bad_ is it?"

"I guess not. We're okay…but it's hard not seeing him for fourteen years and suddenly, hey, you're gonna go live with him. Like I said, it's hard…and I'm only sixteen years old," Nathan tried to explain, finally looking up. "Does that make sense?"

"Yeah. So, what about Lucas. Dan said you two are getting along really well."

"It's a less complicated situation. Luke's like…he understands my reasoning and he understands why I feel like I feel. So yeah, we get along okay."

**----In The End----**

Nathan rested back on the floating device, feeling the sun slowly bake into his skin. Dan, Karen, and Lucas were at the mall, picking up stuff for him and Lucas; he was glad he didn't have to go-shopping was among his top most hated things to do.

He closed his eyes beneath the sun glasses, trying to block out the whole world, though, right now, his world wasn't half bad. The meeting with Greg last night had gone surprisingly well, he was a bit more comfortable with the family as a whole at dinner.

He gasped as he felt himself sinking into the water, trying to catch his breath as he struggled under the weight. He pushed on the weight, tossing it off, driving toward the water's surface. He sucked in the air, looking around. "Haley? What the hell? Throwing stuff at me?"

"Sorry….I'm…"

"You could have killed me!"

"Stop being a big baby! We both know I had no intention of hurting you! God-you act like I was purposely gonna hit you!" Haley said, defending herself.

"What if it was someone who was going to?"

"I'm-Nathan, who would hit you?" Haley questioned, turning over the floatee, swimming it back to him. He got back onto it, ignoring her question. "Are you gonna answer?"

"I don't have to answer you, Haley."

"Who would hit you? Dan definitely wouldn't…and from what I gather about your stepfather-"

"Let's stop this conversation before it starts, okay? You aren't gonna get anything out of me, and frankly, it's none of your business."

"So it was a mom's boyfriend?"

"Or lack there of," he murmured, turning away from her.

"You know, letting it sit there, boiling in your body, enflaming your heart-it's just gonna build up and kill you," she replied, catching his eyes with her own, pursing her lips. "Again, I speak from personal experience."

"I'm sure your personal experience doesn't include being beaten," Nathan snapped. "I've really got to learn not to reveal my past to perfect strangers. I did it with Dan earlier-"

"Admitting it is the first step-"

"I don't need a 12 step program, Haley. It's in my past-"

"Well, a liver and kidney transplant is in my past and I'm still reeling from it."

"I'm not gonna tell you anything else, Haley, so why don't you stop fishing?"

"Why? Why won't you tell me? Afraid I'm gonna help you?" she snapped, watching him slip off the float, pulling himself out of the pool. She wondered if he realized how skinny he actually looked. She walked over to him, grabbing his forearm, feeling his muscles tighten, his whole body freeze, as if he'd been in the position before, only with a man larger than him on the other side. "Nathan?"

"Get your hand off me," he warned, not looking at her.

"How young were you?"

"Seven or eight…or both."

"There you go with that whole revealing thing again," Haley whispered, giving him a slight smile. "Why would someone do that? I mean honestly, what does a seven year old do to deserve that? What does a twenty year old do to deserve it?" He shrugged, not looking back at her. "Well, people can be $$ holes. So, is this the reason you're trying not to like it here?"

"What? It's fine here, Haley. It's just not reality. Who the hell do you know besides people in this town who live like this and actually live in reality and not in their own made-up fantasy world? I don't know many-any, in fact- and I'm…I just don't believe that settling in to this place is good."

"What do you think is reality, then? Where you come from? That's not exactly the everyday situation of people here," Haley answered, her eyes not leaving his. "This _is_ reality, Nathan. I'm sorry, but it is."

"Maybe." He shrugged again, sitting in a pool chair. "So why do you hang out here all the time? I know you have a home."

"I do, I do. But all my siblings are gone-I grew up with seven brothers and sisters, and now they're all grown up and off in the world or in college. Lucas and I have always been best friends, and his house is more exciting than mine," she answered, looking down at the pill canister sitting on the table. "I've only got twelve more days of so many pills-then it goes down to four-two twice a day, one three times a day, one once a day."

"I was on pills in that kind of regiment when I was ten. I got pneumonia, and our health insurance wouldn't cover the charges for the medication, so I never got them, and then I ended up having to be rushed to the hospital. We learned from that fairly quickly."

"Lucas had pneumonia before. It was pretty bad."

"You danced before, right?"

"Uh?"

"You danced-before you got sick?"

"Yeah. For ten years. I…it made me happy."

"So are you gonna do now? Can you go back to dancing?"

"Not for a year or two-I've got to be completely healed up, completely off my med, except for antirejection drugs, and I've got to…to do a lot of things. I found a different passion-well, I've had it, but it played second fiddle to dance-singing."

"Can I hear you sing?"

"No. Maybe sometime else," she whispered, hearing the front door open. "I think Karen and Lucas and Dan are home."

"Lovely," Nathan replied, rolling his eyes.

**----In the End----**

"Did you notice how thin Nathan looks?" Karen asked her husband as they were preparing dinner for their family. "He's practically skin and bones, Dan, and he's like 6'3"."

"I saw. I was hoping when we take him for his physical, Dr. Everett can either suggest a diet or a dietician that can help. He probably needs to gain ten to fifteen pounds, and with him, it's probably not going to be easy. He thinks he's eating enough, and obviously he's not," Dan answered, taking a small bite of the chicken and rice. "It's good, Karen."

"Where are the boys?"

"Out back, I think. I'll get them." Karen nodded absentmindedly, turning back to putting the finishing touches on her food, while Dan opened the back door, the sound of the basketball pulling him toward the court, where Nathan and Lucas were playing a game of one on one. Dan smiled at the boys, hearing them casually chide one another, Nathan dunking the ball. He called out to them, apologizing profusely for interrupting their game, but telling them Karen was waiting on them to eat. He headed back in, leaving the boys to follow.


	7. Chapter 7

**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Six: Around Me, The World Is Spinning**

_You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this._**-Henry David Thoreau**

The vomit made his whole mouth taste of a funky odor that seemed to pervade the room and settle into his clothes. He pushed his shaggy black hair back as he leaned further over the toilet, trying hard to keep his clothes clean. He had to be in court in two hours, and, if anything he was anxious and worried about how his six week check would go. He knew Paul and Greg would be there, giving their reports back to the judge, and he had also gotten a call from his mom that she would be there.

The past six weeks had been bumpy and stressful, with little progress in his and Dan's relationship. He felt, however, that it was stronger than it had been in the beginning. He started a new school in two weeks, with Lucas and Haley, and next weekend was the party that Dan always threw. Apparently, it was there that he'd get to meet Peyton, Brooke, Tim, and Skillz, as well as the other teens that hung out with Lucas and Haley.

"Nate? You okay?" Dan called, knocking on the door softly, not bothering to wait for an answer, opening it. "Is it nerves or something else?" He was tempted to reach out and put a hand on Nathan's shoulder, but he knew the teen would shudder away from the touch.

"Nerves," Nathan answered, flushing the toilet, grabbing the wash cloth. "That's the second time this morning I've gotten sick. That's not a good sign, is it?"

"Like you said, it's just nerves. You'll be fine. You haven't done anything wrong in the past six weeks-there's no reason for them to keep you on house arrest, is there?"

Nathan shrugged, closing the cuffs on his nice dress shirt. "And I'm hungry, but that dumb diet thing you have me on only let me eat some waffles this morning."

"That dumb diet thing has made you gain five pounds. Remember what the doctor said? You were underweight by fifteen pounds. So it's six to seven small meals a day for you."

"Did you always follow doctor's orders?" Nathan asked sarcastically.

"It's not me I'm worried about," Dan replied. "You ready to hit the road?"

"I guess. Are Karen and Luke coming?" Nathan asked, putting his wallet and cell phone in his pocket.

"No. You said last night that you didn't want them to come. You were pretty sleepy, though, so you might not remember it," Dan explained, following Nathan down the steps. Karen was waiting, handing Nathan a bottle of water to hold him out until they reached the courtroom.

"I'm sure everything will go fine today, Nathan," Karen whispered, hugging him tight, kissing his cheek. "You've been nothing but wonderful. Don't let them tell you anything different."

"Thank you, Karen," he replied, tightening his hug. "I think I might need that. I guess I better go, before Dan has an aneurism or something." Karen smiled, letting Nathan go.

_Breathe, Nathan, breathe_ he told himself as he settled into the passenger seat, opening the water bottle. "Nathan, don't pass out on me, okay?" Dan asked, bringing his son out of his dream world. "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty-sorry, but I am. What if the judge thinks I haven't made a big enough improvement? What if they think I need to go to Juvy or something?"

"Why would they, Nathan? You haven't done anything wrong in the past six weeks," Dan reassured the teen yet again, wishing his son would be calm, to calm the nerves that were starting in him.

**----In The End----**

"Nathan Lee, you're up!" the bailiff called, frightening Nathan, who's head snapped up, looking around at the other teens in the room before standing up. "Hands behind your back, please." Nathan nodded, just wishing for the whole experience to be over.

He entered the courtroom, sitting by his lawyer. He remembered the judge from his earlier hearing, but he hoped that it would be somebody different, somebody who might understand.

"Nathan, please come on up and take the stand," the judge said, eyes on the teenager as he walked slowly to the witness chair. "You look a little nervous, son."

"Just a little," Nathan replied, looking at his father earnestly.

"Last time you were here, you were sentenced to house arrest and to complete a drug rehabilitation program, as well as regularly attend your probation meetings. Did you complete rehab?"

"Yes, sir. Four weeks of an outpatient rehab."

"Are you clean?"

"I've passed every one of my drug tests. I haven't touched anything illegal since I was arrested," Nathan replied, fingers nervous scratching at his wrist.

"And I have a report from your rehab center, your doctor. He said that you were very anxious but very willing to try. He was very proud of you. What about school?"

"I start in two weeks at Tree Hill High. That's were my half-brother Lucas goes."

"Okay. You can step down. Mr. Scott, you can come on up." Dan stood, giving his son a smile as they switched positions. "How are you doing today, Mr. Scott?"

"Um…okay…we're all a little weary."

"Understandable. How have the past six weeks been behavior-wise with Nathan?"

"Fine…great, even. He's a good kid; we've made a lot of progress."

"What do you mean a lot of progress?"

"Um, he was just really…he didn't know what to think when he first came home, but it just took some getting used to and adapting."

"Has he violated his house arrest?"

"He went to the doctor once, with the approval of his probation officer, about five weeks ago," Dan replied.

"So, he hasn't done anything to violate his house arrest?"

"No."

"Okay. You may step down." The judge watched Dan retreat from the stand, squeezing Nathan's shoulder as he passed. "I have reports submitted from both Nathan's caseworker, Greg Lennox, and his probation officer Paul Windsor, both stating that Nathan has shown a vast improvement and had an impeccable record since the last ruling. Therefore, today I will rule that Nathan will continue to live with his father, abide by a curfew as set for teenagers under the age of eighteen by North Carolina, continue to have regular drug testing by his probation office, continue with his probation for the next three years. He may have no unexcused absences from school, he must participate in four hours of community service by Christmas, and another eight hours per year for the rest of his probation term. If Nathan fails to do any of this, he will be returned to the custody of North Carolina and subsequently placed back in Courtland Juvenile Facility." He turned to Nathan, eyes not leaving the boy's face. "I hope you realize how lucky you are. I think that you have a long way to go for a full recovery and absolution of your crimes, but I also think you are well on your way down the path of recovery. Your next court date will be January 27th, approximately. That's it, we're adjourned." The judge banged his gavel, and Nathan stood, shaking his lawyers hand, thanking him.

Dan smiled, squeezing his son's shoulder, an odd habit that comforted _him_ more than his son. "See? I told you not to worry, buddy," he chided, giving him a small hug. "What do you say we get home? Karen's fixing your favorite pizza and it's about time for you to eat again."

"Lovely. Really. So, does this mean I can get out of the house?"

"Yeah. On curfew restrictions, just like Lucas. That also means we'll have to get you a car-no problem, considering I kinda sorta own a dealership."

"Dan, you don't have to get me a car. I don't exactly know anyone to drive to-"

"We'll talk about it when we get home. C'mon," Nathan nodded, following his father out of the courtroom, stopping to sign some papers. "You want to drive?"

"Sure." Nathan grabbed the keys, a grin on his face from ear to ear.

**----In the End----**

"-never ever to do that on the road again! The interstate no less! You wanna get us killed?" Karen smiled at Lucas, pulling out the pizza from the oven. "Never mind, don't even answer that question! Just get inside." They could hear Nathan laughing as he opened the back door, tossing the keys on the counter, Dan following him.

"I take it everything went well?" Karen asked, cutting the pizza.

"Yeah. I've got probation for three year, eight hours of community service per year, um, drug testing, curfew-everything's good," Nathan replied, rolling up the sleeves to his dress shirt. "And I'm hungry. Can't I eat more than two pieces? Please?"

"No. Ten pounds-you have ten pounds to go until you're at your ideal weight," she said sternly as she set two slices of the cheese pizza on a plate, pushing it toward him. "And the doctor wants you back next week for the MRI of your knee. I heard you and Lucas talking about basketball, and I just figured if you even thought of trying out for basketball, we might want to make sure everything is in working order."

"Fine, I'll bite. MRI next week," Nathan acquiesced, taking a slow bite of the pizza.

"Maybe we can make a day of it and go shopping for some new school clothes? I'll drag Lucas along, so at least you won't be alone." Nathan didn't answer, finishing off the pizza.

"That was good, Karen. Thanks."

"No problem, sweetheart. I'll have some ready for you at six for your next meal, okay? Or, did you want something-"

"Pizza's fine," Nathan said, clearing his plate. "I'm gonna go outside-I'll see you guys later."

Lucas followed his brother outside an hour later, hearing the basketball hit the backboard. He stood at the opposite end, watching Nathan hit a three-pointer from the half-court line. He was wearing basketball shorts and a tank top, and Lucas noticed for the first time the scar that peaked out between his shoulder blades.

"Hey, man," he called, Nathan turning around, tossing the ball to the outstretched hands. "So, you and Dad seem to be on better terms."

"I guess. I don't really know, Luke. I've told you, I'm not looking for anything with him."

"But he's your father, Nathan-"

"I hadn't seen him in fourteen years. Don't expect miracles," Nathan reminded his brother, taking the ball, making yet another three pointer. "Does he even know my birthday? I mean, honestly?"

"Do you know ours'?" Lucas shot back, dunking the ball.

"I didn't spend fourteen years knowing about my own son, okay? That's why I'm mad; that's why I don't want to know him. I don't care about all the things he's done-what he hasn't done is why I'm angry," Nathan yelled. "I want to get to know him-he's seems like a genuinely good guy- but I can't get over the fourteen years he missed out on! Leave me alone about it!" He threw the ball back to Lucas, walking off the court.

**----In the End----**

Haley slowly walked up the stairs, hearing the soft music fluttering down from the piano. She gaped as she saw Nathan hovering over the Steinway Europa piano in the loft area at the top of the staircase, a melody gently being produced.

"I didn't know you played," she started, sitting beside him on the bench.

"I took piano lessons at the local Y from third grade on. It's soothing. I never had one, but I can play fairly well."

"I can play _Chopsticks_," Haley commented. "I think that's cool. Lucas said you had a fight about Dan."

"I was an ass. I didn't mean to be, honestly-I'm just not ready for him to be my father-does that make sense?" he asked, his fingers hovering over the piano keys.

"I don't know. You know, before you showed up, this wasn't here. He had to learn something about you Nathan. And I'm sure if I ask him, he'll know your birthday-you can find that out from your case file. But I bet you if you go and ask him what you ate for dinner the first night you came here or what your first words were to him after you got out or what your doctor said about you, he'll know. And I know it's hard because he wasn't there, but he's there now, and he wants to know and he cares about you," she cautiously ventured, touching his hand. He looked at her, his blue eyes covered with a mask of regret.

"You think so?"

"And I think it'd do you good to get to know your father. He can be the best man in the world."

"I guess because I didn't grow up with him there, then I kinda closed him off," he admitted, starting to play again. The tune grew louder, attracting the attention of the three other people in the house, who slowly made their way upstairs. Dan knew Nathan played the piano; he bought the one upstairs for that specific reason. But the song that was coming out was more than he ever thought Nathan had learned; it was fairly advanced, a tune he hadn't heard before.

Nathan jerked his head up as he heard the clapping, fumbling to try and get off the bench, banging his knee on the piano. "Dammit," he mumbled, glancing up to Karen. Haley followed him, steadying him as well as preventing him from running off.

Then Dan was there, as if shielding Nathan from the rest of the family. "C'mon, sit back down," he persuaded the boy, gently putting his hand on Nathan's shoulder. "What's wrong? That was really good, Nathan-what you just played was excellent."

"I didn't know anyone was listening. I'm sorry-you scared me," Nathan muttered, looking at the keys of the piano. "I-I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We'll leave you alone-" Nathan nodded, noticing that his brother and Karen had already dispersed. "But don't be afraid to play, Nate. It's beautiful."

As Dan left, he was gifted with a small smile from his son. He decided it made his day. Nathan turned back to Haley, feeling her hand on his back. "I told you he cared," she whispered, surprised when he turned his head, capturing her lips with his, a hand running through her hair.

**----In the End----**

"You kissed her?" Lucas questioned as he and Nathan got ready for the party. "Kissed her? Nathan, that's my best friend!"

"I don't think she likes me like that, Luke, so I don't think you have any reason to worry," Nathan replied, tucking the shirttails of his white dress shirt into his khaki shorts.

"Um…I think you're wrong," Lucas returned with a sly smile. "Peyt's here with Brooke. They're anxious to meet you."

"Did you tell them that you totally caused me to get a black eye?"

"I did not! You jumped off the dumb diving board!"

Nathan gave him an indignant look, shaking his head as he pulled on his white Adidas, pushing his hair off his forehead. "I'm going now. Buh-bye."

Downstairs, the crowd was already starting to form, and Nathan wove through them to the kitchen, where Karen was directing the servers around. She pointed to a plate, where a sandwich sat, as well as the vitamins that the doctor had prescribed for him.

"Hey, Karen. You need any help back here?" Nathan looked up from his sandwich, where a blonde, curly haired girl had just entered the kitchen.

"No. Have you met Nathan yet, Peyt?" Karen asked, pointing to the teenager. "Nathan, this is Luke's girlfriend, Peyton. She's been in Savannah for awhile. How was your brother?"

"He's good. It's nice to meet you, Nathan. You are like all Lucas can talk about on the phone. He was so excited when you first came. I'm sorry I wasn't here," Peyton answered, coming over to hug Nathan. "So, I miss six weeks and you're already making the moves on my bestest friend Hales?"

"What?" A brunette interrupted as she came in, pouring herself some more sprite. "Who are you? Why are you making moves on me?"

"My other bestest friend, Brooke. I said _Hales_."

"Oh. Then **you** must be Nathan." The Brunette deduced, holding out her hand. 'Why does Haley get all the hot guys, huh, Boy Toy? I'm hot, aren't I?"

"Your pouting again, Brooke," Peyton admonished, seeing Nathan eyeing them wearily, finishing the last of his sandwich. "Do you know where my boyfriend is, per chance?"

"Upstairs getting ready," Nathan replied, smiling when he saw Haley. She was with her parents, trying to make their way through the crowd . She pointed outside, and he nodded, fighting his way out to the pool, surprisingly empty. He followed her out to the pool house, closing the door behind them. "I'm sorry..about yesterday. I know you don't like me like that and I shouldn't have done it…but-"

She put her fingers on his lips, silencing him. She stood on her tiptoes, his face directed downward to her, and she returned his favor.

She thought she wasn't _that_ type of girl. But as she stood there, her hands slowly making their way around his neck, she could almost believe that she was.

**so, there it is-the naley you've all been waiting for. And the appearance of Brooke and Peyton. Read and Review, and I'll work on getting you all the next chapter written.**


	8. Chapter 8

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn. Nor do I own "I'll Cover You" from RENT or the lyrics to "There You'll Be"-that's Faith Hill (sung) and whoever wrote the lyrics

**Chapter Seven: Thank You for Changing**

_"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."_**-Mahatma Gandhi**

Haley's eyes slammed open, and she pushed away from Nathan, breath erratic. "I'm not that girl," she whispered in explanation.

"You aren't that girl? What does that mean? You aren't the girl that's willing to be seen with the quote-unquote bad boy?" Nathan spat out, glaring at her.

"No, Nathan, no. I like you…but, I can't…I can't…" He forced her to stop, kissing her again. When she didn't pull away, she knew that she _could_ and _would_ do this-this exact thing. She felt his fingers intertwine in her hair, finding the back of her neck, caressing it softly as her back found the wall of the pool house.

He rested his forehead against hers', kissing her lips softly. "That was nice," he whispered, taking her hand. She nodded, laughing gently against his chest. "What?"

"You make it sound like we just had sex or something-"

"Well, if you want…" He grinned, making her laugh some more.

"Okay, no. I don't think so. I need to go find my parents-they're probably really worried and whatnot," she replied, slipping out from underneath his arms. "C'mon. I'm sure Dan's about ready for his speech and he'll freak if you aren't there."

"Will you go out with me Friday night? To a dinner and movie?" She stopped, turning back around to look at him. "What? Isn't that what normal people do? A dinner and a movie?"

"Yeah…sure, I'll go with you," she smiled, grabbing his hand, pulling him into a kiss. As they pulled away, he grinned at her, letting her pull him out of the poolhouse.

No one noticed as they slipped into the outer fringes of the crowd, now covering the expansive yard behind the Scott's house, the sparkle of the lake behind them. Dan was standing in front of the crowd, a grin plastered across his face as he raised his glass of champagne. "I just wanted to thank everyone for coming to the party, once again! Karen and I love to see all of you here. This is the beginning of a new year-or so to speak-and hopefully a year of many great things. Maybe a good football season, and maybe a state championship for the basketball team-" the crowd laughed, football players huffing and puffing, wondering when they'd get a little appreciation. "But most importantly, hopefully this year will be the time to connect with family. As many of you know, my son Nathan is living with us now. Reconnecting with family…it's a funny thing because sometimes…sometimes it comes from the people you least expect. So, um…welcome to a new year, and be sure to welcome my son to our little community."

"Here here!" The crowd yelled, all raising their glasses. Nathan shook his head, making his way through the crowd, toward his father. "Now, why did you have to involve me in that?" he asked indignantly.

"Because I know just how much you _love_ people," Dan returned with a smirk, patting his son on the back.

**----In the End----**

Nathan bit his lip as he tried to finish the paperwork he had been given. Karen had wanted to do it, but he needed something to occupy his time. He beat his knee on the ground, feeling a slight twinge in his foot as he contemplated the question "previous injuries to part being scanned in MRI." He quickly wrote down his answer, "torn ACL & tendon in left knee in spring '02, subsequently had surgery" not further explaining that the injury was in part because of a beating he had suffered.

"Nathan Lee?" the nurse called about fifteen minutes after he had turned in his form. He stood up, Karen following, but stopping when the nurse shook her head. "Nathan, just go into the exam room and change into a gown for me. I need you to take off any metal anything you have on you." Nathan nodded, taking the gown from the woman. "You can keep on your undergarments." Nathan nodded again, thankful. "Um, Mrs. Scott, if Nathan would like, you can accompany him into the MRI room, but if not, you can't stay."

"Of course."

Nathan changed slowly, taking his time to straighten out his nerves. He heard a soft knock on the door, the nurse asking him if he was done. "Yeah…almost," he whispered, neatly folding his clothes, placing them in the bin with his name on it. He opened the door, looking at the nurse, awkward.

"I need you to take off your watch, too. It'll be safe."

Nathan nodded, slipping off the nice watch Karen had left on his bed one morning. "Is Karen coming?"

"Do you want her there?" Nathan nodded again, smiling at Karen as she pushed through the nurses to him. She rubbed the back of his neck, quickly taking off any metal she had on, happy that Nathan considered her close enough to him to accompany him for the MRI. She opened the door to the room that held the MRI, coming in as Nathan lay on the cold surface. "Okay, Nathan, this is called the bore. You'll go in feet first, it'll probably take us twenty or thirty minutes, okay? You feel like you're going to be sick?"

"I'll be okay," he replied, glancing inside the tube.

"If not, I can give you a mild sedative-"

"No. I'm good."

"Okay, then. Just relax, and we'll get this done as quickly as possible," the nurse assured Nathan and Karen, helping set Nathan up on the bore. "Karen, you can talk to him; he just needs to stay still. Nathan, if you start feeling anxious or sick or claustrophobic, let us know. I can give you a sedative that will calm you down."

"I'm good, I promise."

Forty-five grueling minutes later, it was over. Nathan sat up on the bore, feeling a little more anxious than when he went in. He changed as quick as possible, wanting to get out of the place. He hated hospitals in general, but when he was inside, he hated them even more. He need some music therapy in the form of his piano.

"Can we just go home, Karen?" he begged as he came out of the exam room. "I don't feel like going clothes shopping. Please-"

"Sure, Nate. You not feeling too good?"

"Something like it."

The drive home was silent, Nathan watching the scenery pass by him. He almost enjoyed playing the piano as much as he did basketball…almost. Basketball was the adrenaline rush that he craved, while piano was the release of stress that he often sought. Even though basketball was his favorite, hands down, he needed his piano-he needed something to sink his stress into to allow it to leave him.

**----In the End----**

Most people said his hands were too big for the piano. They were basketball hands, his stepfather used to tell him as he drove him to and from the Y on days he had piano practice. Gary hadn't understood why someone like him would play something so…snotty and arrogant were the words Gary used. Nathan pressed against the keys gently, smiling at the sound produced.

_"Live in my house,"_ he sang softly, the melody from Rent's _I'll Cover You_ coming from the piano. No, he wasn't a singer, but he knew the lyrics to some of the more popular songs he played. _"I'll be your shelter… Just pay me back with one thousand kisses…be my lover, and I'll cover you…"_

"Nathan?" Dan's voice silenced any sound coming from the open area where the piano sat. "You realize it's two-thirty in the morning?"

"I know. I'm sorry if I woke you up. I'll just-"

"You didn't. I couldn't sleep. What were you playing?"

"Um…RENT, actually. One of my favorite songs," Nathan replied, trying not to tense up as Dan sat beside him, noticing the flinch Nathan did.

"That's a little surprising, I'll admit. I'd assume you'd listen to rap or whatever is popular with kids these days," Dan admitted, looking at the piano. "I'm glad I got this for you."

"Why did you get it? I mean, I think I had made myself pretty clear when I said I didn't want any hand outs or anything-"

"I know. But I talked to your mom, and she told me that you played and I thought it might be a good ice breaker. Had I known that my son would be playing it at two-thirty instead of sleeping, I might have reconsidered."

"Please don't take it." Dan was surprised at the quiet, submissive words. He looked at Nathan, who turned his head to look away, jumping when he felt Dan's hand on his shoulder. "I had a nightmare," he quietly confessed.

"About what?"

"Life before this?"

"And what was that, Nate? Was that the time when you were beat up? I told I wasn't going to forget what happened at the case worker's office," Dan said, biting his lip, wondering what Nathan would say.

"I don't know how to answer that, Dan."

"Just answer it. I'm not going to criticize you, I'm not gonna laugh."

"It was a bunch of hitting and a bunch of blaming me and a bunch of my mom angry. That's my past. There's some punching and kicking and broken bones and drunken mothers and doped up boyfriends and a whole lot of bull shit," Nathan answered, staring at the black and white keys, emotion in his blue eyes hidden by the darkness in the house. "That was my life. Hospital stays and crazy explanations for bruises in the most awkward of places. And I hope to God I'm done with it because, honestly, I don't think I can handle it anymore."

"You **are** done with it, Nate. You don't have to be the cool, reserved, isolated kid you were. You get another chance and another family to experience what life's really about. You don't have to be the grown-up anymore-you've got two here that will do that for you."

"I'm not some little kid, Dan. I grew up. I love my mom to death, and I wouldn't say one word bad about her-but she's the reason I lost my childhood."

"Then what were the drugs, Nathan? I know you're smart, and you know those drugs are bad for you."

"For your information, the drugs I got caught with were her boyfriend's. I'm not innocent-I've got scars from the many tracks I've put in my arms from misplaced needles-but those weren't my drugs. I just didn't want Mom to get caught."

"I thought you told the judge you hadn't done much. So you weren't doing the marijuana but you took the fall? That's like role reversal of the universe-" Dan said, finally understanding the whole situation. "Your mom's drugs?"

"I lied to the judge. Weed was a little too…soft for what I took. And it was her _boyfriend's_ drugs that he would subsequently share with her," Nathan replied, standing up and stretching. "I'm gonna go to sleep now after this whole….girl-fest? Night."

"Night, Nate. I'll see you in the morning," Dan said, watching his son go down the hall to his room, hearing the door close behind him. Talk about growing up-covering for his mother's boyfriend to protect his mother. Dan thought Deb was the victim, but after the seven weeks he had spent with Nathan, slowly being given a picture of his former life by his son, he could see that Deb was the criminal, forcing the true victim to mar his credibility to keep her safe.

**----In the End----**

He wrapped his arms around her small waist, feeling her lips press against his. Nathan smiled, eagerly pressing her body into his, careful of her still-healing body. "I like this," he whispered, pulling away from her but keeping his hands around her waist. "This kissing thing…and the dinner thing and the movie thing…"

"Yeah, it's all pretty nice," Haley admitted, laying down against his chest. "But I've down it before. What were you like?"

"It was all about sex, Haley-for me _and_ any of the girls I've dated. Dated being a very, very loose term-we had fun together. I was high a lot of the time-you shoot up and everything's blown and you find yourself…"

"Okay, we can stop there. I get it. I thought you were a player but, uh…"

"Again, most of it can be blamed on the drugs I was shooting into my veins," He said, turning his arms so she could see the scars at the juncture of his ulna and humorous. "I collapsed one of my veins from how many times I was using it. Oh the things I admit know courtesy of the therapist I endured for a month."

"Ah, but the therapist was good for you-you're clean at least."

"Uh huh. And it's not all about sex this time. 'Cause I have a feeling if it was, you wouldn't be the girl in bed with me."

"Well…no duh. I'm not a whore. Go to Rachel Gatina for that," Haley replied, looking up to kiss him. "Are you and Lucas doing better? I knew you two were kinda on the outs-"

"We're fine now. We suffered shopping together. You should see the closets-Karen forced me to get lots of stuff I don't need-"

"She'll find an occasion for it, believe me," Haley said, sitting up, cringing. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Nathan massaged her skin, the scar from her kidney transplant. "So, I've got a question. You've said that you were suicidal after your stepfather died…I don't…this doesn't make sense."

"I stopped using drugs when Gary married my mom…probably because she stopped buying them, and pretty much cut off my access to them. When he died, I overloaded my system with a bunch of pills and then a bunch of stimulants. And then I went back to my drug-using ways because she went back to her boyfriends that could get me the drugs," he explained, his fingers continuing to massage the skin. "Until I finally got caught, my mom couldn't dig herself out of a whole, and somehow in wacky craziness I ended up…here."

"You're better off here," she whispered as she kissed him, losing herself in him once again.

"I think so, too, even I don't see eye-to-eye with everyone here," he answered, kissing her softly. "Dan and I talked last night. Or…early this morning. He caught me playing at two-thirty. I had a bad nightmare…I get them sometimes. I was playing a song from RENT."

"You know what RENT is? I'm surprised-a jock such as yourself knowing such a powerful musical," she quipped, pressing a kiss on his chin as she stood up, grabbing his hand and pulling him up with her.

"Where are we going?"

"You are going to play something for me."

"Haley-" he groaned, face reddening before she kissed him. "Fine. I never knew you could be so manipulative."

"I'm not manipulative…you just like to kiss me," she returned, pulling him to the piano. "Play me something."

The tune started soft, a song Haley could easily recognize from one of her favorite movies. She gave Lucas a smile as he stood with Peyton, entranced by the song, before moving to his room as to not disturb Nathan's playing. Haley sat on the edge of the piano bench.

_"…I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life. When I look back on these days…I'll look and see your face…you were right there for me…"_ she sang in a whisper in his ear, seeing him smile. _"In my dreams I'll always see you…soar above the sky…in my heart there'll always be a place for you…for all my life…I'll keep a part of you with me…and everywhere I am there you'll be…well you showed me how it feels…to feel the sky within my reach…and I always will remember all the strength you gave to me…your love made me make it through….ooh, I owe so much to you…you were right there for me…"_ She paused, watching his fingers as he played. 

"Are you gonna keep singing?" He asked, the music never stopping, the same phrase repeating again and again. She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder.

_"In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky…in my heart there'll always be a place for you…for all my life…I'll keep a part of you with me…and everywhere I am there you'll be…cause I always saw in you my light, my strength…and I want to thank you now for all the ways…you were right there for me…you were right there for me…ooohhhh….In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky…in my heart there'll always be a place for you..for all my life…I'll keep a part of you with me…and everywhere I am there you'll be…there you'll be…"_ She smiled as he lifted his fingers from the piano, placing her hands over his.

"What made you choose that song?" she asked as he turned to her, putting her hands on either side of his face. When he didn't answer, she kissed his forehead, pausing before she kissed him. "Thank you for changing."

**THere you go; now you know the real reason Nathan had the drugs. Hopefully, I'll update soon.**


	9. Chapter 9

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Eight: It's Just a Word **

_Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts._**-Sir Winston Churchill**

"Haley, where are we going?" Nathan asked his girlfriend, reaching out his hand to find something to grab onto, since the blindfold over his eyes prevented him from seeing…well…_anything_. He felt Haley grab his hand, running smooth circles on his skin, soothing him. "Hales?"

"You're fine, Nathan. We'll be there in a minute," Haley told him, the same answer she had been giving him for the past ten minutes. "Lucas, would you hurry up? You're brother's just a little anxious."

"My brother can hold on. Traffic's-"

"I cannot hold on. You two know kidnapping is a federal offense in all fifty states, right? I could totally have you all arrested-"

"But then who would you have to kiss?" Haley questioned, hearing Lucas snicker.

"And who would you have to pal around with?" Lucas said, smiling, even though his brother couldn't see him. "You know we aren't going to hurt you, Nate. Just sit back and relax; we're almost there."

"You are so dead when we get wherever we're going. You know that, right?" Nathan's blanket question had both Lucas and Haley laughing. Nathan pulled his hand from Haley's, grinning when she pulled it back. She continued running circles over it, tracing the lines on his palm. "Guys, please tell me where we're going. You know I don't like surprises…I never have."

"Possibly because they have all been bad. This one will be good, I promise," Haley whispered, kissing his neck. 

"Hey, now, none of that in the car!" Lucas chided, glancing at his best friend in the rearview mirror before entering the parking lot of Scott Motors. Dan was waiting out front anxiously, rolling a piece of paper in his hands, grinning as the Mustang stopped. "Nate, we're here."

"Oh, thank God. Let me out so I can kill you!" Nathan said, feeling around for the door before remembering that Lucas had a Mustang that only had one set of doors. He sat back against the leather seat, hearing the door open and muffled voices talking to Luke. "Luke? Lucas? Let me out. I mean it! Let me out before I tell everyone your dreaded middle name!"

"You wouldn't dare!" Lucas said indignantly, sending a sloppy grin to Haley.

"Lucas Eugene Scott, let me out!"

"Well, fine. I don't know why you're being so mean to me," Lucas pouted, pulling his seat forward, helping navigate Nathan out. The teen ripped the blindfold off, sending glares to both Lucas and Haley before looking around at his surroundings.

"Where are we?"

"This is my shop, Nathan-I own this place," Dan explained carefully, wondering if he needed to prepare for a freak out. Nathan had been forceful when he said he didn't want a car; Dan, on the other hand, felt he needed one. He felt a car would bring Nathan one step closer to trusting him; he hoped a car would.

"Okay, so why are we here? Well, obviously, you're working. Why am I here?"

"To get a car. You start school on Monday; you'll need something to drive."

"Um…Lucas has a car. Can't I just ride with him?" Nathan was picking at the black brace, hidden halfway beneath his khaki shorts. The doctor wanted to correct some very minute problems affecting his ACL and the tendon there, so Nathan was forced to wear the brace another couple of weeks.

"Let's go into the office, okay? We'll talk about this inside." Nathan nodded, following his father inside the massive building, up the steps to his lavish office. He pointed to the expensive-looking chair behind the immaculate desk, indicating that Nathan should sit. Once again, Nathan felt extremely uncomfortable and out-of-place.

"So, this is what you do? Sell cars? You know, I knew that…you told me that at some point. I just didn't imagine…this. I thought car sales men were greasy men who looked more to scam you than to sell you anything," Nathan said quickly, his nerves increasing at the thought of having to spend the whole day with his father.

"Yeah, I sell cars-but I'm not a greasy slime ball. At least, I hope I'm not. I try not to be….it usually doesn't help in persuading customers to come back," Dan explained, handing his son a bottle of water. "What's wrong, Nate?"

"I don't' need a car."

"Yes, you do. What happens if Lucas has something in the afternoon that you don't? How are you going to get home?"

"There's this thing called the bus. It's big and yellow and…"

"Full of snot-nosed teenagers that are noisy and loud. Plus, I'm pretty sure you've ridden the bus for most of your life. Just indulge…"

"No, thanks. Dan, I can take the bus-"

"No, Nate. I want you to have a car. In case there's an emergency that we can't get to in time. What happens if you fall and hurt something and you need to go to the hospital? What happens then?"

"I wait until you can get me?" Nathan replied. Dan watched him as he sighed, looking down at his hands. "The Mustang looks nice."

"I'm glad you think so, 'cause I was thinking black was your color. Or maybe dark blue with the white stripes. Tan leather, 5 CD changer, definitely the chrome rims…"

"Dan, aren't you going a little fast? I just said it was nice…"

"Then let's go test drive it."

"I don't need a car, Dan," Nathan sighed. 

"I don't want to treat you any different than I treat Lucas, material-wise, at least. And that means you get a car, whether you like it or not. So pick a car you like, or I'm gonna pick it for you," Dan whispered, going through his desk, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. "Write down whatever you want; I've got to go see about some cars. I'll be back in a few minutes." Nathan nodded, staring at the blank page before hearing the door close. 

**----In the End----**

Dan was talking with his receptionist when Nathan came out of his office, handing him the pad and the pen. He glanced down at the paper, at Nathan's scrawl, smiling when he saw the thought Nathan put into the car. "Janey, I need a key for the white Mustang GT with the blue stripes. Will you just send it up here?"

"Of course, Mr. Scott. It should be up in a few minutes." Dan nodded, going to the office.

"Was that so hard?"

Nathan looked up, giving his father a small smile. "I guess not," he replied, looking at the photographs on Dan's desk. "Where'd you get that picture of me?"

"Your mom-when she came to see me. I figured one day I'll have a picture of all my family together, but that'll do until now," Dan said to Nathan's back, frowning at the scar he saw peaking out of the back of Nate's t-shirt. "What's that?"

"What's what?" Nathan asked, turning to look at his father.

"The scar-let me see it," Dan replied, seeing how nervous Nathan was getting. "How'd it happen?"

Nathan shrugged, unbuttoning the black button-up he was wearing, revealing the scar that ran down his back, from the small of his neck to the small of his back. About an inch wide, it was white against Nathan's fairly tan skin.

"Um…I was in a car crash with a friend-she slammed into a pole, got killed. It was my first time in lock up afterwards-I wasn't driving, but I was charged with possession of heroin-which she had taken."

"I'm sorry," Dan said, inside excited that Nathan would share so much with him.

"It was a year and a half ago, the first night I tried heroin."

"A year and a half? You were using for that long?"

"Yup. And that's just the hard stuff. I've been smoking pot for…five years, drinking for four and a half. I told you I wasn't innocent," Nathan answered. "But it's not a big deal. I'm clean."

"I know. I just….your life before just seems…so different from your life now."

"It was. And, if I'm being honest, it's one I don't prefer to go back to…" Nathan stopped as Janey knocked on the door, holding out a set of keys to Nathan. "Aww, all mine?"

"All yours', Nate. Let's go take a drive-I'll buy you lunch." Nathan grinned, feeling comfortable for the first time with Dan.

**----In the End----**

Deb Lee anxiously grabbed the phone, gripping it as tight as possible, glancing at her newest fling, Jorge, a dealer from 54th that had a great stash of coke he was willing to share. Since she lost her job, her concentration drifted from work, her family, back to the drugs she had tried so hard to pull herself out of.

"Hello?" The female voice startled her, and she bit her bottom lip.

"Can I please speak to Nathan?" Her voice shook, even after she willed it not to.

"Sure, one second." Karen put the phone down, calling for Nate, who was kicking Lucas' butt in some racing game. He picked up the phone, frowning slightly.

"Hello?"

"Baby!" Deb cried excitedly.

"Mom? What do you want?"

"How is my Natey?"

"I'm fine. You haven't talked to me in two months. What do you want?"

"To talk to my Natey. How are you? How is my boy? Is his evil daddy taking care of you?"

"Dan's not so bad, Mom," Nathan said uncertainly, looking into the kitchen, where Lucas had joined his mother and their father, helping set out the table for dinner. "You still haven't answered the question. Why are you calling?"

"How 'bout we stick it to them, baby? I just need some money-a little money. Jorge wants me to pay…"

"What are you talking about, Mom? Money? I don't have any money for you to have," Nathan whispered, cradling the phone as he closed the door. "Are you high?"

"Nathan, let's stick it to them, baby-to that so called family I gave you up to. Just get me some money-"

"No! Do you know what you're asking me to do? It's called stealing, it's freaking illegal!" Nathan snapped, glaring at the table. "I'm not stealing from my father. He's been good to me for the past eight weeks-why would I screw him over now, Mom? Really?"

"He's not your family-"

"Technically, he's more family than you are. At least he doesn't use me-"

"Nathan?" The teenager looked up, face hard. "Dinner's ready."

"Okay; I'll be there in a minute."

"Nathan, who's on the phone?" Dan asked, wondering if his son would tell him, or if he'd skirt away from the issue.

"My mom. She just asked me….she just asked me to steal money to buy her drugs. Some family, uh?"

"C'mon, let's go eat," Dan encouraged, putting a hand on the phone, placing it on it's holder, knowing somehow his son would find his way to drown his sorrows in his piano tonight.

**----In the End----**

The steps were falling apart, Dan realized as he went up them. He knocked on the door frame, trying to forget the white peeling paint on the rotted frame.

"Whadjawant?" The blue eyes glanced distastefully at Deb as she pulled open the screen door, obviously forgetting that she was just wearing a nearly see-through robe, her make up smeared all about her face, hair thrown all about.

"I want you to leave my son alone, Deb. You signed over custody, which means you can't torment him anymore. You aren't allowed to try and use him for drugs and you aren't allowed to get him caught with your drugs. So leave him the hell alone! Stop calling him, don't talk to him. He's got a lot more to concentrate on besides his drunk-assed, drugged-out mother trying to manipulate him!" Dan shouted, hand gripping her arm. "And I swear to God, I catch you trying to get him to do anything illegal, I will come after you."

"Hey, What areya doin' here? Deb, get back in the house," a heavy-set man called, appearing in the doorway. "Ya not 'er damn son."

"No, I'm his father. Stay away from him."

"Tell 'er little bastard I want my money for my damn drugs."

"We'll see how well you can get it in hell," Dan snapped. He didn't feel the first punch coming, but the three punches he returned sent the man sprawling into his front room. "Don't punch me again-and don't mess with my son."

Dan slowly made his way to his car, rubbing his sore fists. He hoped this would be the last time he had to talk to Deb, to defend their son to him.

He drove home quietly, looking at his swollen knuckles, smiling. Nathan-his son was worth it.

"What were you thinking?" Karen yelled at him as he came into the house. They looked around for their kids, retreating into the kitchen where she could bandage his hand. "Really, Dan, I mean-" Nathan put the book in the study down, closing in to the door, gnawing on his bottom lip as he watched Karen and Dan talk, Dan pressing an ice pack on his lip. "…can't believe you would punch him, Dan! What were you thinking? He could have killed you!"

"He basically said he was using _my_ son as a pack mule, Karen-giving him drugs in return for him to deliver drugs for him. I won't stand by and listen to that. I stood by while it happened-I could have done something…anything…but I didn't want to get involved. So I did something now," Dan said, hearing a soft gasp from the study. When he looked up, no one was there.

Karen sighed, watching her husband closely. "How was she?"

"Who? Deb? Drunk. She couldn't get out two words without slurring them. I thought…when she came to me, I thought the worse about Nathan-after all, he drove her to that state. Now all I see is the questions. What if I hadn't agreed to help? Would I be attending his funeral instead of getting him read for school?"

"Nathan's fine, Dan. He's upstairs, here with us," Karen whispered reassuringly, lacing her arms around her husband. "You realize you can't always protect him, right? He has to go to school tomorrow, and you can't stay with him all day."

"I know. But at school, he has Lucas and he's got Skillz and Tim and Haley. I don't worry about him there." Upstairs, they heard the music start from the piano, and Dan sighed, knowing Nathan had heard everything, had been hiding in the study. "I'll go talk to him," he mumbled, standing up. He walked up the stairs, smiling when he heard the quick change to a more upbeat song-a jazzy one; Dan wondered where he learned it. 

"Nate?" the music stopped, blue eyes anxiously looking up. "I'm sorry you had to hear me…that you had to hear what I said…"

"Not your fault. My mom is a total druggie and wants her drugs more than she wants her son," Nathan answered, starting to play again.

"It's not your fault, either, bud."

"I guess not, but it sure as hell feels like it."

"But it's not. You'll be down for dinner, right? You won't stay up here and play?" Nathan nodded, turning back to his music. Dan smiled, patting Nathan on the shoulder, his heart swelling with pride as the words "_Thanks, Dad_," were whispered into the air at his retreating form, over the music Nathan was playing.

**Next: FIrst day of school**


	10. Chapter 10

-1

**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the incredible long wait! I am 19 days from my last day of school (less than a month til graduation), and my teachers have decided to pile on project after project. But, at least it's here, right?

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH, nor do I own the rights to the great song _Carry on My Wayward Son_ by Kansas. Damn.

**Chapter Nine: Any Last Doubts, Any Last Regrets**

_"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting."_**-E.E. Cummings**

"Welcome to Tree Hill High, Mr. Lee," Rodney Kingston greeted Nathan, ushering him into the counselor's office. "I'm glad you matriculated into our population." Nathan nodded, following the older, shorter man to his office, gripping his coffee nervously. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm good," Nathan answered quickly, biting his bottom lip. "Anxious, but good-"

"I can imagine. I looked at your record-not exactly stellar, but your grades and your test scores are amazing, Nathan. I must say, if you get involved in some school activities and try to incorporate them into your life, you could very well get a full ride to UNC or to NCSU."

"Yeah…that record of mine-not very telling of me now. I've been clean for like two and a half months and I'm not really planning on shooting up again-especially since it could kind of land me in jail," Nathan admitted, staring at his hands. "I'm..uh…my father would kill me if I got caught using."

"Dan Scott, correct?" Nathan nodded, smirking. "Dan's told us so many of your good qualities. You'll have homeroom with your brother, so he can show you around. I'm surprised at your class schedule-three AP classes? And Music Theory? And Gym? You're a very well-rounded student."

"I try."

"Okay-we'll, I'll meet with you later next week to see how you're doing. Good Luck."

"Sure," Nathan replied, standing up. Taking the map from the principal, he walked out, grinning to Haley as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "This will be fun-"

"Don't you know it. I always hate the first day of school. There's gossiping and fresh meat thinking they're all that and a bag of chips when they're not…and there are the sophomore sluts that think that they can get with a senior and the juniors-well that's us. Not quite there yet, but still thinking we're all that. It'll be…interesting."

"I bet. Now, who are these sophomore sluts?" Brooke had come into their conversation at that point, wrapping her arm around Nathan's.

"Let me be so kind as to explain our social divide. Kinda like that scene from _Mean Girls_ but without the cafeteria. The sophomore sluts are led by Rachel-she's a junior, but only the sophomores will hang out with her. Once she finds out you're like the total shit when it comes to basketball, expect an attack. She uses that awful-$$ body of hers' and tries to steal you away. Be aware-she been with a lot of other guys, and who knows what she has.

"Next is the football team. Hates basketball, mostly because we win and they don't, so they look for any opportunity to say something to you. Don't take it personally-they're just…idiots." Nathan laughed, glancing at the beefed up players. "At least we're pretty.

"Um…then, there are the geeks, which Haley qualifies under-"

"Hey!" protested Haley, hitting her friend, turning to her boyfriend, shrugging. "Totally part of them, and totally proud." He grinned, leaning in to kiss her, his body being shoved to the side by the meatheads that were the football team.

"How do they know me if I've never been to this school?"

"You're Lucas Scott's brother, Nate," Brooke explained, "everyone knows Lucas plays basketball, so everyone assumes you will, too."

"Lovely-five minutes here and I'm already hated," Nathan quipped, his grin still plastered on his face. "This is going to be a long day."

"Probably. But let me finish explaining, Nate-you'll enjoy it." Brooke took his arm again, leading him around, a smile on her face as she got to do the thing she loved: gossiping.

**----In the End----**

"What happened to you?" Lucas asked his brother as he passed him the ball on the Rivercourt.

"Why does everyone in this freaking town know my damn business? Better yet, why do they think it's okay for them to judge me because of my background? I mean honestly, there are millions of kids that come from bad beginnings that end up doing great things in their lives."

"Who said something?"

"Some jackass from the football team. I don't think they actually know that I can also play football and that I love the tackling aspect of it all," Nathan said, taking the pass from his brother and dunking the ball, grabbing it before it rolled underneath their parked vehicles.

"Why do you let their opinions matter?"

"You aren't the one who's going to have to live with it for the next year or however long they decide they want to torment me," Nathan snapped, stopping, trying not to let his anger get the better of him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, man. I understand that they upset you-that would upset me, too. Just, don't worry about it. The basketball players are jerks-all of them. Just ignore them, or better yet, let me take care of it-"

"I don't need you to fight my battles, Lucas."

"But I'm your brother, so I want to help. That's one thing you've got to learn-I'm your bother, no matter what, so whether you want it or not, I will be taking care of this," Lucas said, tossing the ball to his brother, flipping open his cell phone as it rang from the bench where they're gym bags were sitting. "Hello? Hey, Dad." Nathan stopped dribbling the ball, cocking his head back to look at his brother. "Yeah. We're just at the Rivercourt, playing some. Will be home soon."

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked as Lucas hung up the phone, Taking the ball from Nathan's hands, throwing it in his bag. "Lucas?"

"Uncle Keith decided to come visit," was Lucas' reply, biting his bottom lip. "He and Dad don't exactly see eye-to-eye. Keith hates Dad for stealing Mom away from him, though he used to verbally assault my mom. I don't know why he's here, in Tree Hill-he lives near Grandpa and Grandma in Alexandria, works in DC-he's a Representative, or something. But, he's definitely not my favorite person-probably because he refers to me as the bastard child."

"Seriously? Your uncle?"

"_Our_ uncle, Nate. I'll see you at home?" Nathan nodded, climbing into his own car as Lucas pulled his out of the parking space, speeding down the dirt road, preparing himself for the confrontation at home.

**----In the End----**

Dan sat at his desk, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his older brother. He smiled at the picture he had added to his small collection-the picture of Nathan, Lucas, Haley and Peyton at the beach Sunday before school started. He hadn't thought Nathan would have fun there, but he had. They had come back with stories of beach volleyball and sandcastles, Nathan with a new tan that made him look healthier, a bright smile on his face.

"Dad?" Lucas called, opening the door to the house, thankful the black Cadillac Escalade wasn't parked there. _Yet._

"Hey, boys. How was school?"

"Sucked," both of them answered, sitting in chairs opposite Dan's desk.

"What was wrong with it?" Dan asked, more for Nathan's benefit than Lucas'.

"Meathead football players," Nathan mumbled, giving his father a smirk.

"You might not want to say those words. Your uncle Keith was a football player," Dan commented, smirking back at his son.

"And I thought the only sport accepted in this family was basketball."

"No, Danny's just the black sheep of the family." The three men turned to see Keith Scott standing in the doorway, dressed in suit and tie, briefcase in his hands. "Hello."

"Keith," Dan answered evenly, leveling a look at his brother, his sons moving anxiously, out of the chairs. "Where are you two going?"

"Yes, where are my nephews going? I haven't even gotten to meet one of them," Keith said, glancing at the two. "Nathan, right? You're the criminal?"

"Sure-eight weeks ago I was. And it's more like…drug addict than anything," Nathan replied, not backing down. "You're the $$ of an uncle, correct?" Beside him, Lucas snickered, and behind him, Dan snorted.

"No wonder your mother gave you up."

"Keith, don't start with him," Dan threatened, standing up. "Lucas, Nathan, why don't you two go get cleaned up? Karen's making some baked chicken for dinner-"

"I was actually gonna go out with Haley tonight," Nathan whispered. "We um-we were gonna go to the docks-to the restaurant-Market whatever. Plus, they've got that movie thing set up in the park-we were gonna catch a free movie."

"Okay. Then I'll see you by eleven?" Nathan nodded, quickly retreating up the steps, Lucas following, grumbling about how he should have thought of a date.

"So you're letting criminals into your house now?" Keith asked his younger brother, sitting in one of the previously occupied seats. "How very…philanthropist of you, Dan."

"Is there a certain reason you're here, Keith? I've got better things to do than let you insult my son."

"Nah. I just thought I'd talk to you-talk some sense into you. Mom wants you to get over all that ridiculousness and come visit her and Dad."

"No thanks. I know how they feel about Karen, and Lucas, and I'm sure they'd feel the same way about Nathan, so they can forget it." 

"Now who's jumping to conclusions? Dad has cancer." Dan stopped what he was doing, looking up. "It's stage three lung cancer and they think…he'd like you to be there."

"I'm sorry, and tell him that I'm sorry, so sincerely sorry, but I can't and don't really have anything to say to him."

"Danny, he could be dying."

"If I remember correctly, I'm no longer Dad's son, so why does he need me there? He's got all the family in the world surrounding him," Dan snapped. "Plus, my son's only been here for two months, he's still got some adjusting to do-he's got court dates that he can't miss and-"

"Don't you want him to know his grandfather?"

"If he treats him anything like he treats Lucas, then no. I don't want the man near my son," Dan returned. "It was nice seeing you Keith, really, but if you'll see yourself to the front door, I'd greatly appreciate it."

**----In the End----**

"What's botherin' you tonight, Nathan?" Haley asked, leaning over her boyfriend's shoulder to kiss his cheek. They were sitting on the pier, watching the water. He had been quiet throughout dinner, and dessert had been even worse.

"Nothing."

"Oh no, Mister, you don't get away with that answer. I obviously know you better than you think. Now spill," she chided, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I just had a rough day at school and some uncle…Keith? Teeth? I don't know. Lucas doesn't like him very much," Nathan replied in a whisper, looking over his shoulder, giving her a smile. "I'm sorry-this date hasn't been great, has it? I don't blame you if you want to want to leave-I'll take you home…"

'I actually have to get home anyway, Nathan. I've got a paper to write. You want to walk me home?" He grinned, standing up, taking her hand, pulling her up.

"I wouldn't want you to be late," he explained, wrapping their hands tightly together. He changed then-back to the laughing, smiling Nathan Haley knew and loved. Thank God.

Nathan delivered Haley to her house, greeting her father and mother, promising to pick Haley up in the morning so they could eat. At least they had the weekend to recover from the first day of school-they'd need it.

"And I meet the prodigal son yet again." Nathan turned, seeing Keith in his black Escalade.

"What do you want?"

"Why'd you come to live with your father after so long? He never really wanted you-didn't you know that? He made a money deal with your mother when you were born-?

"What? No he didn't. My mom told him that she didn't want him in my life. I already know that," Nathan snapped, looking around the darkness. "Why do you insist on lying to me?"

"I'm not the one lying Nathan. Go ask your father about the ten thousand dollars he took from his father. He'll tell you…"

"Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to ruin my life after I've worked so freaking hard to get it together?"

"I'm just trying to tell you the truth. Go ask him, and you'll find out. And when that destroys you, you can find me here…" Nathan cautiously took the pre-offered card, quickly walking past the car. He didn't need to think about this-thinking about it would mean he'd be drawing conclusions against his father that really didn't need be drawn.

Or maybe they did. Maybe that's why his father was so eager to take him in-did that mean that he got to get his money back? Maybe then his father and grandfather would be a family again? Maybe his father lied to him because he saw him as an investment.

And slowly the thoughts simmered, growing and growing in his head until tears boiled over as his anger did. He wiped them off as he entered the spacious home, walking past Lucas and Karen. He could hear his father typing on his computer. He entered without knocking, his father clearly surprised at the intrusion. "Nathan, I'm kinda busy-"

"You gave my mother ten thousand dollars when I was born? Why?"

"Who told you that?"

"Would you answer the damn question?"

"Would you answer mine?" Dan returned, nodding to a seat across from his desk. "Did Keith tell you that?"

"Is it true?"

"Yes, it's true-" He didn't get a chance to explain as Nathan's fist caught him on the jaw. He blocked the next assault, pushing his son back to the chair. "What the hell is this, Nathan? You want to end up back at Juvy? Cause I will call the cops right now. Let me at least explain."

"I wanna go home," Nathan whispered.

"This is your home, Nathan. I gave your mother ten thousand dollars to put into a college fund for you because she wouldn't let me help you two," Dan said, staring at his son. "Keith put you up to this, didn't he?"

"I'm the stupid idiot that believed him-_Holy Shit_. You'd honestly call the cops?"

"Nah. I'd just threaten you until you did it," Dan grinned, tossing a stress ball at his son.

**----In the End----**

Dan dialed the number carefully, letting the phone ring until it came to the answering machine, letting out a breath as the voice told him to record at the tone. "Keith, I want you to know that the next time you mess with Nathan, the next time you make him feel inferior and insecure about his place in my house, I will come after you with everything I have and I will destroy your reputation and I will make you pay for hurting him. This isn't us, Keith; this isn't about us. This is my son who's barely adjusted to living with me and your trying to toss him into the fire and confuse him even more. I don't think so." Dan hung up the phone, shutting his laptop. He glanced one last time at the pictures of his sons and his wife, smirking. He loved his life.

He opened the door to Lucas' room, taking the cloths off the edge of the bed, pulling the comforter up. He glanced around the room he rarely entered anymore, the picture of Nathan and his mom from Christmas last year. On his desk was a small picture of him and Nathan from after Nate's court hearing. He turned down the radio and turned off the TV. He left Lucas' room, heading across to Nathan's, stopping momentarily at the piano. Nathan hadn't played it in a couple of days-until tonight, of course.

Nathan's room was clean, like usual. Dan could actually admit that he stopped by Nathan's room at night more than he did Lucas'. He went into the extra room, surprised to see a book of sheet music sitting in between some of his basketball stuff. He picked it up, setting it down on the chair without looking in it. He went back to Nathan's room, shutting off the computer, setting some books upright, and setting the new pair of shoes Karen picked up for him by his beat up pair. "Night, Nathan," he whispered, closing the door tight before joining his wife in their suite.

Nathan opened his eyes, looking at the new present, tears welling in his eyes. Dan amazed him sometimes-especially with the generosity his father was often willing to give to him. There were so many things he needed to make up to Dan-but his father would want him to sleep and worry about it in the morning.

_Carry on my wayward son  
There'll be peace when you are done.  
Lay your weary head to rest.  
Don't you cry no more_


	11. Chapter 11

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the incredible long wait! I am now 9 days from my last day of school (less than 3 weeks til graduation), and my teachers have decided to pile on project after project. But, at least it's here, right?

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn

**Chapter Ten: Nothing Matters But Belief**

_"The best proof of love is trust."_**-the Joyce brothers**

Nathan ran a hand through his hair as he climbed out of his bed, quickly making it as he yawned a couple of times, trying to wake up. It was early Saturday-about seven-but Nathan wanted to take a run. He'd go down to the Rivercourt, up to downtown and come back home-only six or so miles, hopefully no longer than an hour; Karen would have breakfast ready by then and she'd be worried if he didn't show up.

He stared at the white shoes a minute before grabbing his old ones, slipping them on. He was now used to stuff showing up randomly in his room-clothes last week, a couple weeks before an Ipod he had yet to take out of the box, a week before that a gift certificate for the music store. Karen and Dan never spoke of it, but he knew he could never really accept their gifts-it just wasn't him.

He was surprised that his run lasted only forty minutes, giving him plenty of time to shower and redress, heading downstairs just as Karen was dispersing her eggs on four plates. "Morning," he said, giving her a small smile.

"Morning, Nathan. Have you been out today?"

"Yeah, I went for a run earlier. It looks like it's about ready to pour cats and dogs out there, though," Nathan replied, giving into her hug. "Thank you for the shoes, by the way. You know I'm not gonna wear them."

"Yes you will, 'cause if you don't, I'm gonna go in there at night and throw away your other shoes. Now, do you want waffles or pancakes?"

"Um…waffles, please."

"Okay. Will you go make sure Dan and Luke are up?" Karen asked, kissing his cheek as she handed him a glass of orange juice. He nodded, heading off upstairs, drinking some orange juice as he opened the door to Luke's room. His brother was still asleep, curled under his blanket.

"Luke, get up!" he called, throwing a shoe at him.

"Wha?" Luke slurred, opening his eyes. "Nat?"

"Get up-your mom's almost done with breakfast," Nathan answered, leaving, back downstairs, to his father's room. He knocked on the closed French doors, downing the rest of the OJ as he patiently waited for his father to open the doors.

"Nathan?" Dan asked as he opened the door, glancing around. "Come on in-"

"Uh, I just came to tell you breakfast was almost ready."

"Okay. Come on inside for a minute," Dan returned, eyeing his son until he finally came into the room. One wall was built-in shelves, pictures on each one. "Did you sleep okay last night?"

"Yeah. I feel like an idiot, but-"

"Don't. Your uncle can be very convincing."

"I hit you. I feel like-"

"Nathan, I'm not mad at you. Please don't forget that. Now, come here-I've got some papers I need you to sign." Dan led him into the small office and library, pointing to one of the seats. "Um-one of these is for opening a saving's account in your name-just in case, Nathan. We'll transfer the ten thousand dollars into the account, okay?"

"What's that one?" Nathan asked pointing to the manilla envelope with a paper peaking out.

"Um…if you ever want to, this is the official document to change your name. I'm not planning on pressuring you into it, but the options there, okay?"

"Nathan Scott? It's a little…weird. It'll take some time to get used to…"

"Again, you don't have to get used it if you don't want it-"

"But I do. I just need to get used to it before I sign anything." Dan grinned, giving him another paper. Nathan quickly signed it, passing it back to Dan. "You said…you said if I wanted to ask any questions, you'd answer them, right?"

"Of course, Nathan."

"Why didn't you pursue custody of me earlier? Or even at all?"

"Cause I was stupid. Had I known what your life was like, I would have sued your mother for full custody as soon as you were born. And I was wrong not to," Dan said. "What are your plans for the day?"

"We're going to some festival in Raleigh. Peyton, Lucas, Haley, Brooke, Chase, Skillz, Tim, Bevin and I are going. I was wondering if we could maybe borrow your Explorer-Chase, Skillz, Brooke, Bevin and Tim are riding in Chase's car, but four people in a Mustang is kinda cramped."

"You can take my car. Please stay away from your mother, Nathan. She's still pretty pissed at me for hitting her boyfriend," Dan pleaded, eyeing his son as he handed him the keys.

"Don't worry. I have no plans of going anywhere near my mother today. It's all about enjoying ourselves," Nathan replied, staring at the cash Dan had set out on the table. "What is that?"

"That is a hundred dollars for you and Lucas to enjoy yourselves with, Nathan."

"I have a rather vague feeling that this is bribe money," Nathan said with a smirk, taking the bills. "But, hey-I'll take the money."

"It's not bribe money-not really, Nathan," Dan replied, standing up. "Let's go before my wife tries to murder me in my sleep."

**----In the End----**

"So, the Talking CowHeads?" Haley asked her boyfriend as they stood in front of the stage, watching the band set up. "Who the hell are the Talking CowHeads?"

"I don't know. I listen to-Led Zeppelin and Queen and…anything that's pretty good to play on my piano-I don't listen to bands with the name of The Talking CowHeads," he answered with a smile, intertwining their hands. "C'mon-let's find somewhere…quiet. "

"What if I want to listen to the Talking CowHeads?" she said, a huge grin on her face as he looked at her dumbfounded. "I was kidding, Nathan-kidding." She led him out of the crowd, pushing him toward a less crowded section. He pulled her into a kiss, feeling her arms wrap around his neck. His back hit a wall, and he tightened his grip on her waist, deepening their kiss.

"I love you," she whispered, pulling away from him, brown eyes gazing into his blue ones.

"You know that after so short a time, Haley? I mean, really…"

"Do you believe in love, Nathan?" She scoffed at him. "I believe it can happen at any time. It doesn't matter how old you are or how long you've been dating."

"I've just seen too many people get hurt by love. I don't want to hurt you." He glanced away from her, his eyes pained. "I want to love you. I want to be in love with you…but I am not gonna hurt you, and until I know that I can't hurt you, I can't be in love with you. I'm sorry."

"So, when will you know?"

"I'm not sure. But you'll be the first person I tell when I find out." 

"Promise?"

"Pinky Swear." He kissed her again, hands through her hair, massaging her neck, her shoulders, anything to keep the kiss going. They broke for a breath, then their lips met again. "Okay, okay, okay…let's go see those Talking CowHeads, okay?" She nodded, pulling him back toward the stage. She met with resistance and looked up. Nathan was staring down an alley, his hand shaking.

"Nathan? Nathan, what's wrong?" she whispered, glancing down the alley, finding herself looking at a man staring back at them. "Who's that?"

"Maybe we should go…somewhere else," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist, leading her away from the alley.

"Okay. I didn't like the Talking CowHeads anyway."

Jorge smiled, wide and toothy (had he not been missing the three front teeth and the bottom two teeth), turning back to his buddies. "I got our traitor, boys. Who wants their money back?" A number of cheers went up, and Jorge started walking.

Nathan thought he was lost in the crowd-well, he knew he was lost in the crowd, because he had lost Haley. He craned his neck, sighing when he couldn't find her. "Haley?" he yelled, slowly making his way through the crowd. "Hales?" He pushed, he shoved, he ignored the dirty looks given to him by passing by-standards as he searched. He moved away from the crowd, into an alley to catch his breath and figure out his next move.

He gasped as his body slammed into the brick wall he had been leaning against. "Oh God," he murmured, opening his eyes to look at Jorge. "What the hell are you doing here?" he breathed out, failing to notice the guys behind Jorge.

Grabbing his jaw, Jorge gripped it tightly, glaring at Nathan. "Getting my payback," he answered, pushing Nathan's head back, slamming it into the wall. He turned his back on Nathan, grinning at his underlings, grabbing the metal pipe from one of them. Nathan pushed himself off the wall, tackling Jorge to the ground. He scrambled up, trying to get away, but one of the men grabbed him, punching him in the stomach. "You shouldn't have done that, Nathan," Jorge threatened, swinging at him, striking his knee. Nathan could feel something in it pop, feel it give out, and yet he stood upright, mostly in part to the goons holding him. Another swing, to his already aching gut.

"You damn bastard," Nathan breathed out as he gritted his teeth, sucking in air. "I should have turned your sorry $$ in when I had the chance."

"And now you won't ever get the chance again," Jorge whispered, handing the metal pipe over to another man, standing back to watch the fun.

**----In the End----**

"I can't find Nathan anywhere," Haley said quickly to Lucas. "He saw someone in the crowd that he knew and didn't like and we took off and we got separated. He's not answering his cell, and I don't know where he is."

"Okay, Hales, just calm down. Where'd you last see him?" Lucas asked, worry already evident in his voice. 

"Um…we were out by the Talking CowHeads. He saw the person in the alley."

"Okay. I'm assuming he headed the opposite way-let's go. Haley, he's probably just disorientated about where he is…"

"Lucas, he grew up here. He knows these streets better than anyone!" Haley yelled, looking around. "Oh God."

"What?" Lucas followed her line of vision, starting out in a run. "Peyton, call the cops….find someone to help!"

The first person suffered a shove, his head connecting with the concrete building, the second an uppercut, Lucas thanking God that his father made him take a couple of boxing lessons. The third and fourth double-teamed him, but he took care of them quickly.

Nathan was on the ground, his blood smeared across the pavement. Haley pushed the guy that was beating Nate away from him, the pipe flying. She sat by her boyfriend, trying to tell herself to remain calm. She couldn't breathe, couldn't remember what she should do. She gripped his arm, afraid to let go. It was mottled with swollen purple and blue bruises, a white shard poking out. She knew that wasn't good. "Nathan?" she asked, wiping tears from her face. "Nathan, are you still conscious?"

He didn't blink.

She cautiously reached out two fingers, touching the his neck, paying little attention to the blood staining her fingers. "Please, God…please," she begged, trying to settle her sobs, listening for the familiar pulse. She smiled as felt it, soft and slow, but there. "Thank you."

**----In the End----**

Haley sat with Lucas, staring at the blood on her hands. "Why the hell would someone do that?" he whispered, leaning back against his chair. They had already talked to the police, told the doctors what they knew, and now were waiting. That was all they could do-wait. Wait for the doctors to come reassure them that Nathan would be just fine.

"There was so much blood," she commented, looking at him, then her hands. "Luke, there was blood-" Lucas nodded, looking at his own arm, a small band-aid covering the site of where he had given blood for his brother-he was O negative, a perfect match for anyone.

"He'll…he'll be fine, right?"

"I don't know," she murmured, tears running down her cheeks. "Did you call your father?"

"Yeah. He's on his way with all Nathan's medical records," Lucas answered, looking at the ER doors. "How long have they been in there? It only takes what-an hour? to get here? How long has it been?"

She shook her head, looking at the rest of their friends crowding into the waiting room. Peyton kneeled beside Haley, offering her a wet towel. "Just wipe off your hands, Hales. Chase went to go get you some coffee," Peyton said, taking one of Haley's hands, wiping it for her. "Hales, he'll be okay-"

"He lying on a cold slab and praying to God that he doesn't die," Haley said through her tears, glaring at Peyton. "How is this going to be okay? How is he going to be okay?"

Peyton was silent, finishing her task before taking the rag back to the nurse, thanking her. She sat beside her boyfriend, taking his hand. "You have to have faith, Lucas. You know that, right?"

"I have to-because he'd hate me if I didn't believe," he replied, giving her a smile, kissing her. "I love you. Thank you for being here."

"It's your best friend and your brother-I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Peyton answered, leaning her head against his shoulder. "And it's only been an hour-just an hour."

"An hour ago we were walking around the Raleigh Music Festival, being a couple. Now he's in the operating room. How is that a just?" Haley asked, bitterly, standing up. "I'm sorry."

"You need a punching bag, I'm here," Lucas said, reaching out his arms to hug her tight. 

Dan Scott ran into the ER, eyes wild with fear and worry, searching for his son. "Luke!" Lucas was up in a second, in his father's arms the next. "Have you heard anything?"

"No. They took him back as soon as we got here. They haven't said anything." Dan nodded, pushing his son back into his chair.

"Stay here, okay? I've got to go talk to someone." He headed toward the nurses' front desk, trying to calm down. "Um, excuse me?"

"Yes, sir? How can I help you?"

"Um-my son came into the ER about an hour ago. I live in Tree Hill, and I came as fast as I could-I brought the records I have for him."

"What's his name?"

"Nathan Sc-Lee. Nathan Lee."

"Okay. Give me a second and I'll see what's happening for you. Can I take his records?" Dan handed them over, and the nurse smiled, heading back into the ER. Dan stood patiently, anger slowly boiling within for the bastard that did this.

"Mr. Scott?" He looked up, concerned that a tall man in scrubs was coming out to see him, taking off a paper mask. He shook the man's hand. "Why don't you come with me to my office?"

"That's bad," Dan whispered, following the man into a small cubicle, sitting in the offered chair. 

"You don't have many records for your son," the doctor started.

"Yeah. Um…I was just granted custody of my son um…ten weeks ago."

"Okay. I'm Dr. Bradshaw, by the way. It's Dan, right?" He nodded. "Your son-I'll be honest with you-it doesn't look good."

"What do you mean?"

"Um-he was hit at least four times in the head. The three bones of his middle ear are broken, fluid's filled in his Eustachian tube, he has a fracture of his frontal bone, one of his occipital-his eye might be damaged. We've fixed any internal injuries, but we have to wait at least twelve hours to do anymore surgery. Will monitor him extremely closely for the next twelve hours and as long as he makes it through it-will start surgery."

"Why are you having to wait?"

"Right now, we need the stuff we fixed tonight to strengthen a little-I don't want to risk going in to surgery just to have it bust and him bleed out. The other injuries-we'll monitor them, and as long as they don't get any worse, they'll wait."

"What other surgery is he gonna have to have?"

"Surger_ies_, Mr. Scott. The most serious is his ear-if we don't fix it, he'll lose his hearing permanently. Next, we'll fix his arm and his knee-his arm is broken in two places, his knee-it's a mess. Um, the final surgery would be to reinforce any of the work we did today."

"Where is he right now?"

"He's being cleaned up, and they're setting his arm for the next twelve hours-and his knee- and he'll be in a room in the PICU-the Pediatrics Intensive Care Unit-until his next surgery."

"Can I see him?"

"Give them some time to clean him up and of course you can. You can stay with him until his surgery. He won't be awake-if he does, he'll be really disoriented. I know there are several kids waiting outside, so if you won't to follow Anne to Nathan's room, I'll go talk to them. I just need their names-"

"Um, Lucas is his brother, Haley is his girlfriend, and there's Peyton and Brooke and Chase and Tim and Skillz and Bevin."

"Okay. Just follow Anne."

**----In the End----**

Dan patted his son's shoulder, struggling to hold back his tears. He had bandages over the left side of his head, including his hear and eye, and he left arm was in a card-boardish splint from mid-forearm down, the rest littered in black and blue bruises. Thankfully, the gown covered his upper arms, so Dan didn't have to see the damage there. There was a tube coming out of his chest, and Dan knew that was for the collapsed lung on his right side-apparently, he had taken a couple of hits to his left side, then fallen to protect that-and his heart. His right knee was in a brace, still airy so that nothing set in. "I love you, buddy," Dan whispered, kissing his son's forehead. "You're gonna be just fine; I believe in you."

**Author's Note:**medical stuff s probably not right


	12. Chapter 12

-1  
**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH, or the song "in my time of dying" by Three Day's Grace. Damn.

**A/N:** So, this little chappie was inspired by the first episode of Supernatural, entitled "My Time of Dying". I love that show and the episode is one of my favorites. I hope it's understandable-I'm not so sure, but it was one of my favorite ones to write out of all the stories I've written.

**Chapter Eleven: Why Must Dreams be so Utterly Complicated?**

_Justice is too good for some people and not good enough for the rest._**-Norman Douglas**

"Okay, lift him on my count…one, two…up-careful," Dr. Bradshaw said, nodding to the pediatric otologist, watching carefully as Nathan was placed gently on the OR table. "Nathan, you doing okay?" The semi-conscious teen blinked, really not aware of where he was. "This is Bennett Major, the otologist that's gonna fix your ear. We're gonna put you to sleep now. Count back from 100, will you?" Bradshaw's anesthesiologist placed the mask over Nathan's mouth and nose. The words didn't come out, but Bradshaw could watch his eyes close.

Blood and fluid came out as Major cut into a small section behind Nathan's ear, concentrating on not cutting into the delicate pieces of the middle ear. Blue eyes widened, and a voice gasped.

"Why are they cutting into me?" Nathan asked, watching with a twisted fascination in the corner of the room, wrapping his arms around his body. He looked down, seeing all parts still attached, hidden beneath a t-shirt and some scrub pants. "Hello? Can anyone hear me?"

"Why don't you make some more noise, Nathan? No one's gonna turn around, no one's gonna notice," a girl's quiet voice said from the door way. His eyes widened in confusion and terror as he spotted the friend he lost in the crash twenty months before. She looked the same-same black hair, falling in her face, smoky black eyes, in her everyday t-shirt and jeans.

"Nikki? What's going on-why can't they hear me? Why are they cutting me up? Better question: why am I sitting here watching them cut me open?"

"I don't know, Nathan. If you can't tell, this is your subconscious, not mine. Remember, mine died in a car crash not too long ago. It's probably because you're having second thoughts."

"Second thoughts?"

"Second thoughts about waking up. The question is, why are you having second thoughts? "

"If you're in my subconscious, shouldn't you know?" he replied, looking around. "Is Dan here?"

"C'mon," she said instead, taking his arm, tugging him away from his own surgery. "Don't worry-you aren't gonna hit the wall." She smiled mysteriously, and his breath hitched as they walked through the wall, landing in the hallway of the OR, heading toward the waiting room. As they entered, Nathan saw them all-Dan, sitting in a chair, papers in his lap, rubbing his temple as he tried to sort everything out, Lucas, sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, eyes on the clock, hugging Haley into his side, Karen sitting beside Dan, trying to help him as best she could. "You've been here twelve hours-so have they." Nathan nodded, walking over to his father, looking at the papers in his hands- medical consent forms for him. Haley's clothes were still bloodied, and he felt the need to shiver. Or throw up. _That was __**his**__ blood._

"Dan, why don't you rest some? I'll try to finish these papers."

"I'll sleep when I know he's alright. Better yet, when he's awake," Dan whispered, looking at his wife. "Should I call Karen?"

"Hell no," Nathan voiced, looking away, pain in his voice. "Don't call her."

"I don't think she'd want to be bothered," Karen answered truthfully.

"When'd you start living with your dad?" NIkki asked, sitting in the corner beside the vending machines, smiling when Nathan joined her. "I remember when you used to live in that ratty apartment across the street.

"I got caught with some of Jorge's pot-he's the one that did this, by the way-and I got send to CJF. My mom got tired of me, and she boo-hoo-ed her story to my dad, who agreed to take custody of me and here I am. It's pretty good there-life's good. I love it there. See that guy-the blond-?" Nikki nodded. "That's my brother, Lucas. He's my best friend. And the girl he's hugging? That's the love of my life-that's Haley, my girlfriend."

"You just realized this, I'm assuming?" Nathan smiled, nodding. "So why would you want to stay here-in the land of no living? Die?"

"I don't know. Really-I honestly have no clue." He breathed in, taking her hand. "I missed you so much."

"I'm sorry I died too soon," she whispered, tears running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I couldn't stay around-sorry I made you turn to drugs-"

"Drugs that I hadn't already been trying, Nikki."

"Well, I wanted to grow up-I wanted us to grow up together and all that jazz…and I wasn't able to."

"You know, if it wasn't for Dan, I wouldn't be here," Nathan admitted ruefully. "I probably would have died of an overdose before school started with the amount of drugs I'd been taking."

"My mom cries everyday. She stops by my picture on the mantle, talks to me a minute about how I'd be alive if it wasn't for that damn drunk driver, who knows where I'd be. And then she cries. You don't want to feel that, Nathan-you don't want to cause your family that. Don't cause their pain because it will be your heartache," Nikki whispered, standing up, kissing his forehead, giving a slight wave as she walked away, disappearing from sight.

Saying her final goodbye.  
_On the ground I lay  
Motionless in pain.  
I can see my life flashing before my eyes.  
Did I fall asleep  
Is this all a dream  
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare_

I will not die  
I will survive

"Sir, his pressure's dropping!" the nurse said, staring at Dr. Bradshaw.

"Shit," he said under his breath. "Push in the blood!"

"What's happening to me?" Nathan yelled, finding his way to the doorway of the OR. "Dr. Bradshaw-you're gonna save me, right? You gotta help me-I've got to get back."

"You know he can't hear you, Sporto." Nathan turned, staring at his former step-father.

"Gary?"

"Hey, Sport." Gary hugged his stepson, his eyes closing. "Still getting into trouble, I see."

"How's his pressure?" the doctor asked the nurse, concentrating on Nathan's ear.

"It's back up, Doctor," the nurse confirmed, pressing on the blood bag. "He'll need another pint soon. He's going through this stuff-there's got to be a nick somewhere-he shouldn't be losing blood this fast."

"As soon as Dr. Major finishes, we'll scan. Keep an eye on it, if it drops anymore-"

"Oh, thank God. I don't want to die-especially when my subconscious is witnessing it." Gary smiled, patting Nathan's shoulder. "Why are you here? I saw Nikki-why are you here? I get it-I want to live?"

"You sure about that, Nate?"

"Why wouldn't I be sure?" Nathan asked, looking at his stepfather. "Isn't that was this is all about?"

"I don't know, Nathan; it's your subconscious, after all."

"Thank you, Sherlock. I'm tired of hearing that-why'd I send you here if you can't help me?" Nathan asked, leaving the room. "So what do I do? How do I flippin' get out of this funk?"

"Did you just use the word flippin' and funk? What has that father of yours' done to you?" Gary inquired, following the teen back to the waiting room. "Or is it that girlfriend?"

"Or maybe it was that woman that's my mother," Nathan snapped, glaring back, going through the doors to the outside, looking around. "Where the hell am I?"

"The hospital?"

"In Raleigh. Which means I'm not home?"

"Raleigh is your home, Nathan-"

"Raleigh _was_ my home, Gary. Now Tree Hill is," Nathan told his stepfather, looking up in the sky. "Looks like it's gonna rain."

"Can it rain in your brain?" Gary asked, grinning as they ran back inside as the rain started pouring.  
_I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive when you're beside me,  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying_

On this bed I lay  
Losing everything  
I can see my life  
Passing me by

"This is different," Nathan commented. "Where is everyone? Lucas? Haley?" He turned around, pushing his stepfather. "Where are they? Where's my family?"

"They've moved on, Nathan-they're gone."

"What? What do you mean they're gone? They can't freaking be gone-this is my mind, for God Sakes! Don't I control what's going on here?"

"Not if you're dead, Nathan-" Gary whispered, head down.

"Dead? How could I be-?" And then he heard it, the monotonous line of the EKG-the line that meant he was dead. He ran toward the noise, going through nurses and people waiting patiently, skidding around a corner to a back cubicle, where his bed lay, forgotten. "Oh, God. Help! Someone-anyone!" He screamed, tears dripping down his face. "HELP ME! I DON"T WANT TO DIE!" He turned to his stepfather, searching frantically for answers.

No one was there.

_Or just not enough  
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare._

I will survive  
I will not die,

I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive when you're beside me,  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying

"Nathan, calm down." Dan's voice soothed his son, hand comforting on his shoulder. His son reacted against the ventilator's breathing tube, almost trying to throw it up. "Nathan, I'm right here, buddy. You're fine. You're awake and fine." Forty-eight hours-it had been forty-eight hours since Nathan's heart stopped; one of the hardest memories was to watch the doctors shock his son four times before his heart started again.

"Mr. Scott, did he just wake up?" the nurse asked as she opened the door, giving Nathan a smile. Dan nodded. "Nathan, look at me, and let the machine breathe for you. You're on a ventilator-you have to stay on the ventilator. Your lung collapsed twice, so we want to give it time to heal."

"Did you hear her, Nate? You'll be fine," Dan soothed, smiling softly at his son. "You'll be just fine. Please calm down."

Nathan couldn't help but fight the tube. He tried to move his head, looking around for Gary-for Nikki-for someone to explain why his father was talking to him. "Nathan?" Haley whispered, standing up from her place by the wall. "Thank God." She took his good hand, smiling at him, kissing his forehead. He reached his hand out, wiping away her tears. "I love you."

He wanted to say the words back; he _needed_ to say the words back. If this wasn't a dream, if this wasn't his mind playing foolish tricks on him, she needed to hear those words from him. "Nathan?" His head had to turn, look at a man he had seen in his dreams-Dr. Bradshaw. "Hey, buddy. Welcome back. I know it's probably really hard to hear right now, and your vision is pretty screwy, but it's gonna get better. Try to go back to sleep-the more rest you get, the faster you'll heal. I'll come back and see you later, okay?"

"How long will he have to have the breathing tube?"

"We'll run some more tests but he probably won't be able to come off of it until at least tomorrow morning. It's very important his lungs heal as much as they can before we take him off the ventilator." The conversation was already tiring Nathan-his eyes-_eye_-was opening and shutting, opening and shutting. "He's going to be sleeping most of the time anyway."

Nathan zoned out, concentrating on Haley's hand grasping his as tightly as possible. "Go to sleep, Nathan. I'll be here, I promise. You aren't gonna go anywhere without me."  
_I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive when you're beside me,  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying._

He shifted in the bed, blue eyes looking around. "What are you doing here?" He asked Gary, sighing. "I thought I was out of this nightmare?"

"How'd you get so messed up, Nathan?" Gary returned staring inquisitively.

"You died-it's simple really. When you were there, my mom didn't get the drugs-she didn't want them or need them. When you died it was so easy to slip back into the routine of having the drugs there-so we went back. And I took whatever was going to make the sadness go away. And after I got over the sadness-well, then I just simply was addicted."

"And coming here-with your father-you're clean?"

"Yeah, I'm clean. Ten weeks. And yes, it's because I came to live with my father-and with Lucas and Karen and Haley-that's why I'm clean."

"Nathan?" It wasn't Gary's voice-Gary was fading away-in fact the whole room was fading. "There you are, Nathan." Dan appeared just as easily as Gary had left, hovering over Nathan's bed as his eyes opened. "What's going through that head of yours, buddy?"

Nathan looked away, trying to separate his dreams from reality. Gary wasn't real-what had he imagined and what had he half-heartedly witnessed in sedated consciousness? "Nathan? Everything's okay now. You're here-you're here with us now," Lucas whispered, joining his father. "Dad, I'm gonna go find the doctor, okay?" Dan nodded, eyes never leaving Nathan's face.

"You still a little disoriented?" Nathan's eyes confirmed, and he turned away from the light. Dan instantly pulled the curtains together, trying to do anything to appease his son. "Better?" Nathan used his eyes to acknowledge Dan. "We're you dreaming?" Another eye-nod. "Will you tell me when that tube comes out of your mouth?" Another confirmation with his eyes.

"Nathan? I didn't expect you to wake up," Dr. Bradshaw said, giving the boy a smile. The x-reys we took of your lungs look really good, so if you want, I'll extubate the breathing tube." Nathan's eyes lit up. "I'd assume that's what you want. Give me a couple a couple minutes to get a nurse and your oxygen set up. Can you handle that?"

Minutes later, the doctor was turning off the ventilator, unhooking the machine and the tube. An orderly took the ventilator out as a nurse held a towel underneath Nathan's chin. "Okay, Nathan, on three, I want you to exhale. One…two…three…" Nathan did as instructed, feeling the tube slide out of his mouth as the doctor gently tugged on it. He felt himself coughing, air rushing too fast, way too fast. "Nathan, calm down. It's gonna hurt-your throat's raw. Here-take a sip of water-not too much…better?" Nathan nodded, slowly, finally noticing how lethargic he was.

"I…hear…" Nathan's thoughts rushed around, and his mouth fought to keep up with them.

"Can you hear my voice?" One nod. "Good. You are at maybe 50 of your hearing-you broke the three bones in the middle ear-but as it heals, you'll gain more of your hearing back. Same with your eyesight." It was then that Nathan noticed that he could only see out of one eye. "Okay, then. Get some rest, I'll see you in a couple hours."

"Bye." Nathan took another sip of water, a big, toothy grin on his face as Haley came into his room.

"Oh God," she said, leaning in to kiss him.

"I love you." She stopped, pulling away from him. "I…I…I…love you, Hales. S..so much." She put a grin on her face to match his own, their lips finally matching.

"I missed you, Nathan. Welcome back."  
_I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive when you're beside me,  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying_


	13. Chapter 13

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the incredible long wait! I just graduated on Friday, and I've been really busy with that and with work. No excuses, I know, but I updated as fast as I could. **If you don't understand this chapter, the italics are dreams Nathan is having** Happy reading

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Twelve: He's in Love With the Girl**

_"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."_**-Vince Lombardi**

"How have you been the past couple of weeks, Haley?"

The teenager looked at her doctor, shrugging. "I'm fine-I've been feeling really good lately. My boyfriend's pretty messed up right now, so worrying about him doesn't really leave me time to be sick. The tremors in my hand…have come back, though."

"Okay. We'll get a blood test done; we're probably just giving you too high a dose of cyclosporine. What's it been-four months? We need to determine what levels we need to set now, anyway. So, you met a guy?"

"Yeah. My best friends brother. Some guys beat him up at the music festival on Saturday-he's been in and out since then; they did a six and a half hour surgery yesterday to repair his ear and his eye-he's still got another one tonight to finish his knee and his arm. I'm trying to get back in time."

"Anxious, aren't you?" her doctor joked, watching her wince as the blood was drawn. "Give us fifteen or twenty minutes, okay? Then will be able to fix you up and send you on your way." Haley nodded, wondering how Nathan was doing…

"Dr. Bradshaw, code blue in 212, code blue in 212," the voice over the PA announced. Craig Bradshaw sighed, standing up, closing the file he had been working on. Code blue-change in the EKG. He made his way into the PICU. The 200s were the ICU hall, up to 220, the Pediatrics ICU, and after 276, the NICU. He recited all of the information as he opened the door to room 212.

"What happened?" Bradshaw asked, ordering a nurse passing by to get him some Phenobarbital and Topiramate.

"Alarm went off," a nurse explained as she turned Nathan's head, blood spilling out of his mouth. "Dammit! He bit his tongue."

"Go find his parents," Dr. Bradshaw told the girl, leading her toward the door, watching her momentarily as she left. "I want 30mgs of Phenobarbital and 10 of Topiramate. Push it in. Schedule him a CT-tell them he's coming up as soon as the seizure's over. Where's his father?" Bradshaw took the syringe of Phenobarbital, pushing it into a vein. He did the same with the next syringe.

"His heartbeat's thready, Dr. Bradshaw. Another 20 of Pheno?"

"Yes. Make sure you have the paddles ready if we have to shock him. Watch the EKG!" As the seizure came to a close, Bradshaw let out a sigh of relief, checking Nathan's pulse. "Keep him on 5 mgs of Phenobarbital and 2 of Topiramate per liter in his IV. I want that head CT now! If I don't have it in thirty minutes, there will be _hell_ to pay, got it?" Bradshaw snapped at the orderly, who nodded. 

They all looked over as another alarm went off. "Doctor, his bp's down to 75 over 20, breathing rate is 10-"

"Dammit! God, what happened? This kid has been out of ICU for THREE days! What's happening?" He shook his head. " We're gonna have to intubate him! Get him on a vent, stat-his lungs are shutting down!" He looked over Nathan's chart, eyebrows furrowing. "Who the hell gave him Amoxicillian? He's allergic! I need epinephrine now, he's in anaphylactic shock!"  
_Somewhere, at some point in time, he assumed he would have been called crazy. Hell, had he heard what he explained to Dan about his dreams for the first time, the next nanosecond he would have sent himself to an asylum to get checked out. He remained quiet, though, waiting for Dan's response._

"You saw…people?"

"Yeah-my friend, Nikki, and my stepfather. So, am I crazy?" Nathan asked cautiously, looking at his hands, studying the trembling digits. 

"No…I don't think so. I think you've had a lot of drugs that have let you think whatever you want," Dan returned, just as carefully. "How does your knee feel?"

"Dr. Bradshaw said that it can take awhile before I begin to feel it again. Again with the drugs," Nathan whispered, shifting his heavy knee. "They're taking some X-reys in a little while-before they go in."

"How about your hearing?"

"It's shifty. Some days I hear better than others-just like some days I see better than others." Dan nodded, noticing the trembling hands. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothng-they've been shaking for a couple minutes. They did it earlier-they'll stop soon." Dan accepted his son's answer, looking at the clock. It was two in the morning; he had sent Karen and Lucas home, told them to arrange the transfer to Tree Hill Memorial. Nathan couldn't sleep; his normal sleeping habits had been interrupted and now Dan had to suffer.

"I talked to your teachers. They'll be sending a homebound teacher until you're ready to go back to school."

"Good. Did you talk to Paul and Greg?"

"Yeah. Paul will be stopping by sometime next week to check in on you; Greg will be here tomorrow with the cops."

"I have nothing to say to the cops, Dan."

"Yes you do. What about who beat you up? Look at you, Nathan-you barely survived!"

"But I did survive! And I'm gonna be fine!"

"I'm not arguing this with you, Nathan! You will tell them," Dan begged. "Nathan?" His son wasn't paying attention, staring off into space. "Nathan?" His eyes widened as an alarm sounded. "Nathan?"

The body began trembling, shaking, seizing, and Dan was glued in place, helpless to do anything until the alarm brought nurses in.

"Dan?" he shook his head, looking up at Dr. Bradshaw, covered in a sheen of sweat and clutching Nathan's file. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nathan just….he suffered from a seizure-the worst kind. The grand-mal triggered…triggered an allergic reaction to the amoxicillin someone had prescribed for an infection in his ear. He went into anaphylactic shock. We had to stick him with epinephrine…he's on a ventilator, and he's improving-"

"I told you people he was allergic to penicillin!"

"I'm going to find out who wrote the order, Mr. Scott, and they will be dealt with. There's a more pressing matter-two, actually. One, that Nathan had a seizure-that would lead me to believe that he has damage to his temporal lobes in his brain-we're gonna take him to get a CT when he settles down from the seizure."

"And the second thing?"

"His knee…the damage is…"

"I was looking at some pamphlets earlier. One of them was for a rehab center in….Norfolk, Virginia-Clearwater Springs?"

"Dan, as bad as this seems, right now, I don't think it's bad enough to look at rehab centers. Let me do the surgery, and then I can give a better assessment, okay?"

"How long until you take him to surgery?"

"We need to make sure the seizures aren't going to affect him during surgery. We'll keep him on an IV drip of Phenobarbital while we're doing his surgery in case he does have a seizure. Hopefully in a couple of hours."

Dan nodded absentmindedly, looking at the door to Nathan's room, inside, where Nathan was asleep, ventilator hooked to him. "You said there's an infection in his ear?"

"It's a mild one. While the amoxicillin caused the allergic reaction, it did clear up the infection. Dan, you said it a million times, I've said it a million times; he's a fighter, he's not going to go down like this."  
_"He's a fighter!" Deb screeched at her son, chucking her beer bottle at him. "That's what your principal called me to say, Nathan! You know you can't fight! YOU JUST CAN'T!"_

"Mom, would you please stop _**screaming**__ at me? I got in a fight with James Tucker…he called Nikki a whore," Nathan tried to explain, bending down to pick up some of the bigger pieces. "I'm sorry."_

"She is a whore, Nathan. Why don't you just let people tell you the truth?" Deb screeched again, falling back dramatically on the couch.

"How can you call someone a whore when you're one, too?" Nathan yelled, immediately regretting it.

"You stupid sorry bastard! Just like your father!" Deb snapped, slapping him hard. He stepped back, glaring.

"At least I'm not some stupid Ibch that got pregnant and couldn't even get the father to stick around." He turned and left, sighing.

He was a fighter, after all./I  
"Nathan?"

His eyes twitched, and he forced them open; they were heavy, weighted down by the heavy medication he was on.

And then he felt the pain. 

Before he even opened his eyes, splitting pain in his head, his knee, his arm-_everywhere_. Why did there have to be pain everywhere?

"Nathan, look at me." His blue eyes flashed open, toward the voice, before closing again. "No, sir, Nathan; _look at me_." 

One eyed vision sucked. He had to turn his head this way and that to find a clear spot in which he could glare at the voice. Why couldn't he just sleep? He loved to sleep-he didn't feel anything when he slept. It was all counting sheep and dreaming about the past he didn't have to deal with anymore.

"I love you." His eye widened, and he forced his brain to concentrate on the fuzzy outline of a person he found standing near his head. He waited for the vision to clear-he knew it would, he would just have to be patient, and he finally saw _her_, a vision of an angel in white. His Haley. "I love you so much, Nathan," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his forehead, his eye lids, his cheeks, finally his lips. How she had missed his lips.

"Ha-Hal…"

"Hold on, let me get you some water; it should help. They took out the tube to the ventilator yesterday before they took you to surgery, so your throat's still sore. Hold on." She clumsily poured the icy water, sticking the straw in the plastic yellow cup. "Here." Slowly, one sip, then two…

"Haley…" He whispered, smiling, reaching up a hand to touch her cheek. Three tubes forced the hand to stop at only so high, so she bent down a little more, smiling as he worked at wiping away the tears. "Hey, you."

"Hey, yourself. I'm sorry I haven't been here in awhile. I had to go see the doctor."

"Anything…anything wrong?" he asked.

"Nah. They had to do a biopsy to make sure everything was working properly, and it is-they lowered my dosage of cyclosporine. But I'm fine. How are you?"

"Here." She laughed, kissing him again as she gripped his hand tightly. "Am I…am I done with surgery?"

"Yeah, in fact. They did knee surgery yesterday-and set your arm."

"What's wrong with me, Haley? Why do I feel so weird?"

"Why don't you let me handle this, Haley?" Dan said, giving her a tight smile. She nodded, placing one more loving kiss on Nathan's lips and leaving. "Hey, buddy."

"Da..Dad," he replied, staring at his father with his one eye. "What's wrong?"

"You had a seizure a couple days ago, Nathan-the worst kind. You haven't had one since, but your on medicine to stop the seizures and they had to take a CAT scan of your brain. You had some swelling there; Dr. Bradshaw said that it's gone down, though-"

"Seizure?"

"You're okay now, though, Nathan. Please. You have been so strong…such a fighter. Please, don't let it get to you," Dan pleaded, running his hand through Nathan's hair. Nathan nodded, sucking up his tears. He wouldn't cry-he wouldn't let himself…

_"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…" Nathan stared at his step-father's newly dug grave, clasping his mother's hand as tight as possible. He looked the part of a man today-in suit and tie, taking condolences for his distraught mother, not shedding a single tear. Gary had told him that he would be the man of the house if he ever died, and it was Nathan's job to keep everyone okay, to never cry or show weakness._

"I need a drink," Deb murmured, shrugging off the company of Nathan's hand and walking away, dabbing at tears as she submitted to her grief in the form of a bottle. Nathan stood over the grave, late into the night, watching the men hired from the funeral home cover the mahogany casket with foot after foot of dirt, further distancing stepson and father.

Rain was pouring on Raleigh by the time he left the funeral home, getting the all-too-familiar feeling that his mother would be passed out on the couch, bottle of vodka or tequila or jack daniels or something_ in her hands or broken by the couch._

Mixing with the rain came his tears. He missed his stepfather, the man who changed his life, his hero. He would miss playing ball with Gary, watching Gary drive, accompanying Gary to work. He'd miss the façade Gary brought to his life, covering the tarnishes and ill deeds with the love and comfort of a normal home.

"Why are you crying?" Deb slurred when he stepped in the door. He looked up at his mother, prancing about in a thing robe, hair hurried done up in curlers with a joint in one hand. "You didn't lose a lover. You didn't lose anyone important. So tell me, Nathan, why the hell are you crying? Don't. You aren't allowed to cry. I am. I lost everything, and now I have nothing."

He stopped. That night, as he lay in bed looking at the picture of his once happy family, he vowed to himself that he wouldn't cry. He had nothing in the world left to lose that was so important that he should cry.

"Nathan?"

He focused in on his girlfriend, standing beside his bed. "Hey."

She ran her hand through his hair, gently massaging his scalp, never knowing how much it helped to rid him of the headache he had. "What are you thinking about?"

"Why I don't cry anymore." She looked at him funnily, giving him a smile. "My stepfather's funeral, I cried. I bawled. I went home hours after they buried him, and my mom was drunk. And she told me not to cry because I hadn't lost anything. And she had. She had lost everything."

"Well your mom's also a drunk-off-her-$$ bch, so I doubt she knew anything she was saying," Haley replied. "How did you live with her for sixteen years?"

"I guess….she wasn't always like that. She's not always been like that-I have to believe that."

"You have great faith in people, Nathan. Faith that some of them don't deserve."

"I have hope, Hales. I have to hope. When I lived with my mom, hoping meant I could have a dream that might come true. So I hope," he whispered. "Did you talk to my dad? They said I could possibly go home on Friday. "

"Really? Like discharged go home?"

"Like discharged go home. Which means I'm on my way to being me again."

"Which means we can finally go out on our date."

"Which means I can kiss you-"

"Oh, you can do that now, Nathan." She leaned in, smirking as their lips connected. His good hand wrapped through her hair, loving the silky feel of the strands.

Someone coughed, and Haley jumped away from Nathan, both looking at Lucas and Peyton standing in the doorway. "Um…I guess asking if you were feeling okay would be a little redundant at this point," Lucas commented, a huge grin on his face.

"Say anything and I will kick your $$ when I get out of here," Nathan replied, giving Peyton a polite greeting. "What do you guys have?"

"A DVD player and some DVDs? Do you wish to partake?" Nathan nodded, kissing the top of Haley's head. He settled into his bed, content, for once.

_"Where my bwaketwall?" Nathan looked up, staring at the two-year-old tugging at his pant's leg. "Daddy!"_

"Ben, leave your dad alone," a woman said, stepping into the office, scooping up the toddler. "Sorry, Nate. I know you're trying to concentrate-"

"It's okay, Hales. Just finishing up…I promise I'll come help with the kids…I know you've got to be tired." He smiled at her belly, five months pregnant and getting bigger everyday. That would be their third child, hopefully a girl to join Luke and Ben.

"What are you smiling about?" Haley asked, heaving Ben up. "I expect you downstairs in five minutes for dinner." She leaned down to kiss him, a soft kiss that promised more for that night but left him wanting more now.

"I'll be there," he said, turning back to his work, so content and happy with his life.

"Nathan?"

For the second time, Nathan had to focus in on his girlfriend, willing his blurry vision to focus. He smiled at her, the life he had imagined so fresh on his mind, the want for such a life so strong he nearly forgot about everything else.

He loved that girl.

He wanted to marry that girl.

Someday, he knew, no matter what it took, he **would** marry her.

**So, it definitely wasn't my best, and I'll understand if y'all hate it. Just leave a reply, please?**


	14. Chapter 14

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Author's note:** If you want a sneak peak into my next story (ie basic summary) either **pm me or email me at the writer(little "a" in a circle thing ****or **** shift+2)yahoo(dot)com**

**Chapter Thirteen: Tides Turning**

_"We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within."_**-Earl Nightingale**

Derek Owens glanced over his list of PT patients for the day-only three, including a newbie, Nathan Lee, who had knee surgery three days ago and was now ready to begin strengthening his legs again. He checked the room number one more time, opening the door. His young patient was asleep, his body trying to curl onto his side, his knee preventing him from totally twisting. "Hey, Ellie, what pain meds is he on?"

"Light morphine-not really any. Doctor's having to watch for infection. Kid's also on seizure watch." 

"Holy shit. Why's he doing PT if he's still on seizure watch? Better yet, why is he doing PT when apparently he can barely hear or see?" Owens asked, looking over the kid's chart. "Phenobarbital? How much is he getting?"

"He's scheduled to start today. We asked if he wanted to wait, and he said no. So we're staring PT today. And right now only 5 mg per liter, with another five of Topiramate."

"Okay. Has he eaten today?"

"He picked at his breakfast; he hasn't been really hungry. He's getting some food through his IV, though."

"Thanks, Ellie," Derek said, gently shaking Nathan's shoulder. "Nathan? Wake up, buddy. I'm Derek Owens, your physical therapist."

Nathan's eye fluttered opened, and the kid took his time to focus in on Derek. "Holy _shit_," Nathan whispered, looking over the 6 foot ten African American man. "Are you like some recruiter for the Marines or something? Because the hospital…not exactly a good idea."

"Funny, Nathan, funny. I'm Derek, your physical therapist, like I said. You seem to be doing good."

"Yeah. I'm.. the doctor says I'm healing. They're gonna take off the bandages for my ear tomorrow, my eye on Wednesday, so I guess the next step is physical therapy," Nathan replied, reaching over to grab the water watching his hand shake.

"Optimistic. I like that. It means you're more likely to succeed in therapy. How does your knee feel?"

"Um…it hurts, I'm not gonna lie. It hurts a lot," Nathan admitted, pulling himself up. "But, I need it better…cause, see, I wanted to try out for basketball…I haven't gotten to play basketball in awhile."

"I saw that lovely record you have. We're gonna go down to the PT room, okay? Today we're gonna do some exercises that will help you build up some muscle you've lost. It's not gonna be easy, okay?" Owens explained, getting a wheelchair from outside.

"No one said it ever was meant to be," Nathan replied, looking down at his legs. Thankfully, Karen had brought him a set of green and black plaid pajama bottoms and a dark grey t-shirt, so at least he was out of that dinky hospital gown. "But I've got to do it. I have to."

"Good attitude, kid. First thing first, we need to get you to the wheelchair. Just relax and do what I say, okay? Everything will be fine." Nathan nodded, watching the therapist unhook his IV. "Now, put your good arm around my shoulders-good job. This is going to hurt-these muscles are bruised and they haven't been used in awhile. Tell me if it hurts too much and we'll stop." Again Nathan nodded his head, gritting his teeth as Derek basically lifted him out of the bed. When he was settled in the wheelchair, he was sweating bullets and shaking with pain. "You okay, Nathan?"

"Ye…Yeah," he bit out, squeezing his good hand into a fist. "I'm fine…"

"Okay. We're gonna go now…if anything gets to bad, tell me. You don't want to be hurt anymore than you have to be," Derek said, pushing the wheelchair. Nathan stared at his knee, at the thick and bulky brace wrapped around it, realizing that he was one step closer to being himself again.

"Welcome to my lair, Nathan. This is my domain."

"Great," Nathan whispered, looking around the large room, at the blocks, the weights, tables where people where sitting, the long rails for walking, the pool in the back for hydrotherapy. "So, where to, oh captain my captain?"

"Ah, I've got either a Walt Whitman friend or a Walt Whitman impersonator in my midst…I'm shocked," Derek replied, smirking. "We're gonna go over to the weights for today-again, you need to re-strengthen the muscles that have suffered because of your injuries-whether it be from the injuries themselves or from just sitting in that bed."

"Okay. So where do I start?" Nathan asked, looking around. Derek rolled the wheelchair to the weight bench, helping transfer Nathan to the bench.

"We'll start with your arms, work our way down-should take about two and a half hours. You'll be exhausted…I hope you realize that," Derek said, handing Nathan a five pound weight, despite his look of indignation. "No…a five pound weight is heavy enough. Trust me." Nathan nodded reluctantly, taking the weight, getting the feeling that this was going to be harder than he thought.

**----In the End----**

"You look like hell, man."

Lucas was standing at his brother's doorway, watching him trying to curl around a pillow.

"Go away," Nathan groaned, eyes fluttering open. "I'm never, **ever** doing physical therapy again."

"Was it bad?"

"No…I'm just sore. Five pounds, Lucas…I was using five pound weights, and I'm sore," Nathan said, struggling to sit up. Lucas came over to help him, and Nathan gratefully accepted his help. "Don't you have school today?"

"Um…totally would rather be with my brother," Lucas pointed out, handing Nathan some water. "And it's past 4 o'clock, man."

"Sorry…I've been sleeping most of the day. Derek was right; it's not going to be easy," Nathan murmured, twisting into the pillow some more. "Upside, I got more painkillers."

"Aren't they afraid that you'll get addicted again?"

"Lucas, I was addicted to speed and heroin, not painkillers. Never really had the right taste for painkillers-they took all the feeling away-I didn't want to numb a thing," Nathan replied. "Well, I guess I did, but not with painkillers…something about a pill is just….icky."

"Oh the level of vocabulary amazes me," Lucas sniped, turning on Nathan's tv. "Hey, why don't you go back to sleep? I'll entertain myself…" Nathan nodded, again curling into his pillow. Within moments, he was asleep, away from the soreness and the pain that he was suffering.

Derek Owens knocked on the door, nodding to Lucas. "He's still sleeping?"

"No, he woke up. Are you the uh…physical therapist?"

"Yeah. Derek Owens. You're…"

"Lucas, his brother."

"He did good today. Most people wouldn't have kept with it. Got a little secret for you."

Lucas looked at the man, curiosity getting the better of him. "What?"

"He's gonna be just fine." Lucas smiled, nodding.

"I know."

**----In the End----**

"C'mon…one little ride," Haley begged, looking devilishly at the wheelchair. "Please…"

"Haley, you'd kill me in the wheelchair. I feel like shit already-no. Maybe tomorrow," Nathan reasoned. "Take Lucas for a ride." She grinned, clapping her hands emphatically. 

"Oh, Lukey…" She called, looking around for her best friend, who had suddenly disappeared. "Natey, he's gone!"

"I don't care. Just leave me alone…" Haley's chipper mood instantly dissipated as she looked at her boyfriend, still reeling from his therapy session. "I'm sorry…God, I sounded-"

"Maybe you shouldn't go to therapy tomorrow," Haley suggested, sitting on the edge of his bed, running a hand through his hair, smiling at him.

"No. I have to go to therapy. I have to get better, get normal," Nathan mumbled, his voice laced with sleep. "I'm sorry, Hales. I'm sorry…"

"Sssh, Nathan, go to bed. I'll see you when you wake up," she whispered, kissing his forehead as his eyes closed. She took a moment to look at him, sighing as she smoothed his hair down. As much as it pained her to see him like this, she was glad he was going to continue his PT. 

Two hours later, Nathan was awoken by a nurse, who nearly withered back at his steely-eyed stare. "Nathan, stop scaring the nurse." Nathan head turned to look a his physical therapist, who brought him a tray.

"Don't you have shifts?"

"Well, you're my special project, Nathan. You realize you have another PT session tonight? At seven? It's only an hour long."

"So why do you have my dinner?" Nathan asked, twisting back to a sitting position.

"The nurse said you only picked at your breakfast, and you didn't eat any of your lunch. So, I'm here to make sure you eat. You can't do physical therapy if you're weak, and if you can't get through this week, you can't be transferred.," Derek explained, setting the tray of food on the stand. "I got you light stuff.. Some soup, applesauce, jello…and water to drink."

"Oh, jeez, where's my dessert?" Nathan quipped, looking distastefully at the food before starting on the most appealing thing, the applesauce. "God, this is disgusting.."

"Hospital food in general or-"

"Hospital food is disgusting, Derek-" Nathan stopped, watching his hand shake.

"Nathan? Nathan?" Derek called, snapping his fingers in front of Nathan's face. He pushed the tray to the side, pressing the call button. He looked up at the nurse that entered, a doctor following her. "He's having a seizure."

"Shit," Dr. Bradshaw whispered, checking the chart. "Give him 10 mg of Phenobarbital and wait this out."

"What are we waiting on?" Nathan suddenly asked, his eyes on his doctor. "What?"

"Nathan, you just had a seizure…" Dr. Bradshaw explained. "How are you feeling?"

"My arm's numb," Nathan said. "I had a seizure? I don't feel-"

"You had a partial seizure, Nathan; it usually just affects one part of your body-in this case, your hand. You don't remember it, you can't really hear anyone, see anyone while you're having it," Bradshaw finished, checking Nathan's eyes. "They're likely to continue for the rest of your life, but with some medication, they shouldn't affect you."

"They shouldn't affect me? What if I can't play basketball because of this? What if-"

"Nathan, what-ifs don't matter. They're about the future that hasn't happened," Derek said, giving him a tight smile . "C'mon, finish your dinner."

Nathan begrudgingly nodded, taking another bite, wondering if his father would show up tonight; he hadn't been to the hospital in a couple of days. He hadn't realized he had eaten all the food until Derek took the tray away. "Off to therapy?" Nathan suggested absentmindedly, not really paying attention to his therapist.

**----In the End----**

"Dad?" Dan looked up, rubbing his temples as he nodded for his son to come in. "Dad…why haven't you seen Nathan in the past two days?"

"Lucas…"

"Dad, he had another seizure. Not a bad one, just…and he started therapy and you weren't there to cheer him on and make him feel better when everything hurt. You let him down-"

"I'm trying to get him home, Lucas! I want to see him; God, I wanted to be there for his first therapy session, but I want him home more! Do you know how much time it takes to get him on homecare? I have to find a doctor at Memorial who is willing to take Nathan as a patient, I'm just damn lucky his therapist comes to Memorial! So yes, I missed his therapy, I missed him hurting and the chance to make him feel better, but I'd rather have him home, so I'll miss a few," Dan snapped. "I'm seeing him tomorrow. How was his therapy session?"

"I didn't get a lot out of him. He was pretty sore; apparently it was really rough. His therapist said that he did really good, though. Actually, he said that he'd be fine."

"He's doing okay, then?"

"Um…he had a seizure, like I said. Derek told me that it was a partial seizure, which means that it only affects like one body part or one part of his brain. He said that they're going to add some more medicine and that should help control the seizures. Did you find a doctor? For Nathan?"

"Yeah, actually. It was one Dr. Bradshaw recommended…Thomas Leeves. He's going to see Nathan tomorrow and he'll ride with Nate in the ambulance to the hospital here and check him over one more time before he comes home. After that, he'll have intensive therapy four days a week twice a day for two hours, as well as sessions with an optometrist and an audiologist to regain full function in his ear and his eye," Dan explained, searching through the paperwork.

In Raleigh, Nathan winced as he felt tears running down his face as his knee spasmed under the two pound weight. "Okay, Nathan, here, let me get this off," Derek whispered, undoing the ankle weight. He handed Nathan a towel, then a cup of water, running his hands over Nathan's injured knee, massaging out the pain as best he could. "Don't push yourself. I told you, you don't want to re-injure yourself."

"It's two damn pounds!"

"What kind of surgery did you just have?" Derek asked, sitting across from Nathan on the bench.

"Knee surgery to fix the tendons and my ACL; they also fixed my arm," Nathan replied.

"How long ago?"

"Three days."

"You got out of surgery three days ago, Nathan, and look at what you're doing, how far you've come. All we're doing is trying to build the muscles back up that were damaged or lost within the past week. You don't have to go all out-don't push yourself until you're healed," Derek chided, patting Nathan's good knee. He handed Nathan the two pound weight, watching him carefully hold it in his hand before nodding. "Okay. Hold both arms out-good-twist at your abdomen and hit my right hand with your left arm and my left hand with your right arm. I only want four on each side-stop when I tell you to."

Nathan took a breath, glanced away, and lifted his arms, smiling through his pain.

**----In the End----**

"Please don't torture me again," Nathan groaned as he opened his eyes, slightly shifting when he saw his dad there. "Dan?"

"Hey, buddy."

"What time is it?" He whispered, twisting in the uncomfortable bed.

"Nine. Your PT isn't until ten, but I just wanted to come in and say that I was sorry I haven't been here. I've been trying to make sure everything's good for your transfer."

"I thought I was going home," Nathan said, pulling himself up.

"You are, but they're gonna take you to the hospital to make sure everything's okay and then they'll discharge you from there and you can come home," Dan explained, smiling at the nurse who came in with a tray of food.

"Good morning, Nathan," the nurse greeted, setting the tray before him. "Derek said that you better eat all of it." Nathan smirked, the smirk quickly turning to disgust at the food

He poked the white stuff gently, watching the fork bounce off of it. "What is this stuff? Grits?"

The nurse shrugged, checking Nathan's chart. "We're going to start reducing your painkillers; hopefully, you'll be totally off the really heavy ones by Friday when you leave. And then today, you only have PT until 12 and then Dr. Major is going to take off the bandage on your ear and check it and do your eye, as well."

Nathan nodded, attacking the what-looked-to-be scrambled eggs. "This stuff tastes like cardboard," he informed the nurse, finishing off the eggs and moving on to the bouncing grits.

"It's good for you," Dan quipped, watching his son glare at him.

An hour later, Derek knocked on the door, smiling when he saw Dan and Nathan fighting over the remote. "Sorry to interrupt, but Nathan, I need you for therapy." Dan saw this as his opportunity, stealing the remote from his distracted son with a grin on his face.

"Oh, now that's just plain mean," Nathan joked, smirking at his father as he let Derek help him up. "Dad, you can come to therapy with me. Can't he, Derek?"

"Sure. Just don't interfere with his therapy; a lot of parents come and try to baby their kids. I can't have that at therapy," Derek explained unhooking Nathan's IV from the pole it was resting in. "I know you worry when you see him sweat and there are tears, but that's when he's working the most. You say something, and I will throw you out."

"I don't plan on it," Dan answered, watching Nathan shakily stand, taking a small hop toward his wheelchair. Dan was transfixed on Nathan's brace, watching how it held steady as Nathan moved about, as well as how Derek kept a good hold on Nathan, protecting his broken ribs and internal injuries in case his son accidentally fell.

Dan followed his son down to the therapy room, where three other people were working on their own injuries. Derek nodded to a chair, where Dan sat, focusing on his son. "Okay, Nathan, we're doing the weights again, nothing new to you."

"Sure…until I start bawling like a four-year-old."

"It'll be easier, Nathan; remember, you've already done this. And, as soon as we get the weights done, we're gonna start on your knee."

"Lovely. So, where do I start?" Derek smirked, handing Nathan the two pound weight.

"Lift your arm out to the side and hold it for five seconds. Ready?" Nathan nodded, slowly raising his arm, wincing at the pain. "One…two…three…four…five…now, slowly let it down…good job. Do another one…and one…two…three…four…five…again, slowly let it down. Another one…" Nathan let out a breath, wincing as he did another arm raise. Derek smiled, nodding for another one. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Another one?"

"One more, then do the same thing on the other arm without the weight."

"So you're strengthening his muscles?"

Derek nodded his head in affirmation. "Um…especially the ones that he injured-his hamstrings, his quads, his biceps and triceps, deltoids, his obliques…" the therapist explained as he watched Nathan carefully set the weight down. "Try the other side." Nathan raised his broken arm, feeling sweat run down the back of his neck.

An hour later, Derek gently undid the black brace on Nathan's knee, skimming the stitches and grabbing the wet rag, running it over his knee. "Give this another couple of days and it'll be part of your rehab, too," he commented, putting the brace back together.

Time….only a little more time, and Nathan would be somewhat normal again. He smiled at the thoughts, a bright smile setting on his face as he continued his rehab.

**Again...I don't think this is my best, but let's see what you all say. Next chapter will have nathan OUT of the hospital, promise. Till then, my sweet readers and reviewers...SN Brown**


	15. Chapter 15

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Author's note:** If you want a sneak peak into my next story (ie basic summary) either **pm me or email me at Thank you all for your reviews!**

******Chapter Fourteen: One Step Forward, Twelve Thousand Steps Back**

**_"The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it.."_****-Epicurus**

Nathan gripped the bars tightly, struggling to get his knee to move the waay he wanted it to. Two and a half weeks of intense pain, therapy, thinking that his knee would never heal, and here he was-he was actually walking.

"Nathan? Nathan, can you hear me?" Derek said, gently shaking the boy's shoulder. Since his first partial seizure, he had had two other ones, nothing bad, just enough to make his dad worry and his doctor want to see him again for some test.

"Sorry…yeah…I was just thinking," Nathan answered, looking over to his therapist.

"How's your hearing doing?"

"Good. The specialist says it's at like eighty percent. My eyesight's back to normal, thank God. The double thing was really starting to get to me."

"Well, it's gone now. Concentrate on walking, please. All we need is for you to fall down and screw your knee up again. Take another step," Derek instructed, eyes on Nathan's knee. "Remember, keep most of the weight on your arm and your other leg."

"I'm trying!" Nathan snapped, forcing his leg to move forward, his arm gripping the bar with such force that his hand was white.

"Calm down, buddy. Good job putting it forward, now just put some weight on it…I'm right in front of you if you fall, and I won't let you hit the floor," Derek reassured the teenager. "Come on, just a little bit of weight." Nathan took a breath, slowly nodding as he picked his other foot up, feeling his leg buckle under the pressure. Before he could even contemplate falling, Derek's hands were there, keeping him balanced. "Try again. Just concentrate on it."

"I can't…"

"Dammit, Nathan, this isn't big…you've walked before! You can do this!" Derek chastised the teen, handing him his bottle of water. "Here, take a drink, calm down, and let's try this again." Nathan nodded, wiping the sweat off his face. "When are you going back to school?"

"Not for another two weeks. They want my cast on my arm off, they want my ribs healed and my hearing fine before I can go back to school," Nathan replied. "And even when I go back, it's not like there's not gonna be someone watching my every move all the time. I don't think that they understand that I'm not fragile and I'm not gonna break if they let go."

"Are they over bearing?"

"Karen hasn't gone back to work since I've been home. And it seems like Dan is at the house every waking moment that he possibly can be. Lucas…I can't take it much longer. I'm used to being very independent-hell, with my mom, it was either be independent or fall behind-and I don't them to look over my shoulder every second. I love them, and I thank them for caring, but I don't need them to try and squash what little independence I've managed to come up with."

"What about your girlfriend? I haven't seen her around."

"Haley's…amazing. She knows that I don't need her to protect me. She just wants to be my girlfriend-I love that about her. She doesn't want to help me anymore than I want to be helped. And she helps with my therapy-who do you think it that goes into the pool with me and does swimming and leg exercises? She's the one that helps me with my hearing…Haley's my everything."

"Well, don't I feel important." Her voice made him smile, and he turned, too quickly, becoming off balanced very quickly. Derek caught him again, Haley taking a step forward. "Oh, God…I'm sorry. I'm taking you home."

"It's fine…what time is it?" Derek asked her, eyeing Nathan's knee.

'Uh…almost five."

"Okay. Nathan, you will be taking that step before you leave. C'mon now." Nathan nodded, giving his therapist a tight smile as he pulled his bad leg across, into the step. He gasped as he put his weight on it, but his smile grew as he actually took a step. "Good job-c'mon, let's get back to the wheelchair and let me clean up your knee and you can go and I'll see you tomorrow." He put an arm around Nathan's waist, Nathan's arm around his neck as he basically carried the kid back to the wheelchair. "Don't worry about doing the laps in the pool today, okay? Go home and relax."

Nathan nodded absentmindedly, too enthralled with his girlfriend. He grabbed her forearm, pulling her down to him, into a kiss. "Hey, beautiful," he whispered in her ear, eyes lit with happiness.

"Hey, you. I'm sorry about that…"

"Don't worry about it. I've fallen a lot more than that just once today," he admitted ruefully, watching as Derek did up his brace again, handing him the two crutches.

"Again, take it easy for the rest of the day. You'll be really tired." Nathan nodded, turning back to his girlfriend as she put a comforting hand on his back, helping him out, back into the real world.

******----In the End----**

Nathan watched Haley unlock the door to his house, smiling a 'thank you' to her as he made his way inside, instantly smelling Karen's lasagna. "I'm home!" He called, grinning as he felt Haley's hand on his shoulder, feeling her almost push him to the couch.

"Sit down," she chided, leaning in to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his waist as he kissed back. "I'll go find them for you."

"Uh-uh," he murmured against her lips, not loosening his grip on her waist. "I'd rather kiss you."

Somehow, they ended up on the couch, Nathan's crutches forgotten at the end, Haley on top, their mouths seeking one another, their bodies trying to get a close as possible. Nathan fumbled for the bottom of her shirt, feeling incredibly awkward and more like the inexperienced young kid he was _before_ entering high school in Raleigh. He kept slipping the shirt higher and higher up her torso, expecting some protest, but never getting it. The shirt came off, and his hand went back to the small of her back, holding her, trying to not pressure her.

"Nathan? I wasn't sure that was you-" Karen's startled gasp broke the teen's apart, Haley jumping off of Nathan and grabbing her shirt, face beet-red with embarrassment. "Um…I'm gonna go…back to the kitchen." She turned on her heel and left, the two teens staring at each other.

"Next time…we do this up in my room with my door locked," he whispered, making her laugh as she slipped her shirt back on.

"I think I better leave; Karen definitely doesn't want to see me like that any more," she said, leaning in to give him a final kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow, Nathan.."

"You too. I love you." She grinned, wide and toothy, slipping out of the house as Nathan shakily stood up, grabbing his crutches. "Karen?" he called, making his way to the kitchen, where he saw her dicing tomatoes for the salad. "I'm so sorry."

"Sweetie, I know you and Haley love each other, and I remember what it was like to be a teenager in love and wanting to be with that person and -it can come back to haunt you, Nathan. Be careful."

"I wasn't going to have sex with her, Karen! I'm not that stupid."

"I know. But one day…that's the tough part. The future…dealing with it," she said sadly, putting her tomatoes into the salad. "How was therapy?"

"I took a step today. Without my crutches and without Derek holding me up."

She hugged him tight, kissing his forehead as she would with her own son during his times of excellence. "Congratulations," she whispered. "Your father's going to be so proud."

"It's just a step."

"Oh, Nathan…it's something so much bigger," she said, kissing his forehead again. "Why don't you come help me in here?" With a final glance to the door, to the Haley that was no longer there, he turned back to Karen, giving her a flighty smile as he grabbed an already washed cucumber to cut.

----In the End----

"Just hold still for a little longer."

Lucas' words of advice were pissing his half-brother off. Ten minutes before they had to leave for school, and Lucas couldn't get the bandages covering Nathan's ribs right to save his life. "C'mon, Luke-I already look like Battered and Beaten Princess Barbie-I just need my ribs taped up."

"Nathan, need you forget that uh, you're skipping last week of oh-so precious time off from school? You look like a battering ram," Lucas reminded, tightening the ever-loosening bandages around his brother's chest. "How much Tylenol are you taking?"

"Five pills twice a day," Nathan said, slipping on his tennis shoe as Lucas finally finished his ribs. "Derek cleared me. Said as long as I go slow and use a crutch, I'm good to go. Dr. Leeves said no book bag, no carrying anything, so, all I have to do is show up with my bright, shiny self."

"Lucky," Lucas joked, helping Nathan put on the dark blue button-up shirt. "Here…let me button it for you."

"Thanks." Nathan was in obvious pain, his broken arm cradled into broken ribs. "It just hurts when I sit down."

"Okay, Nate. If you need me to bail you out, just find me." Luke finished the final button, helping his brother up, handing him his crutch.

Tree Hill High School's populous was, to say the least, shocked to see Nathan Scott (or Lee, technically, if any of said students really cared) slowly making his way inside, his brother and girlfriend on either side. Yes, he looked like he was on the losing end of an $$ kicking, but he was alive, at school, raising his respect level just a little higher.

"Okay, so…I just don't like people staring at me," Nathan commented to Haley as they made the way to the lunch table comprised of their friends. Room was quickly made to accommodate Nathan, and he sat, finally getting to converse with the people he had met such a short time ago that had made such a difference in that time.

"Oh, come on, Superstar, if you play basketball, you gotta get used to it," Brooke commented.

"Uh, right now I'm lucky to even be moving, Brooke. Basketball's about…fifty miles away from where I'm at. So let's not get my hopes up, okay?" Haley wrapped her hand and his, turning his face to look at her's, kissing him.

"You know everything will get better, right?" she said, resting her forehead against his. "I promise. Everything will get better. Your knee will heal, your ribs will heal…everything will heal. And all of this will just be a distant memory of the past. You know, one of those stories you tell your kids."

"I know." He smiled, kissing her again as the bell rang.

She met him again after fifth period, a twenty minute break in the day before the final two classes, in the courtyard in the middle of the school. "How's your day been?"

"I don't think sucks ass even begins to cover it. I told what's-her-face…my math teacher-"

"Cayblein."

"Yeah, her, that I can't exactly carry anything right now, due to, you know, the fact that I have broken ribs and my liver lacerated and a ruptured kidney…and the lady had the audacity to tell me that she couldn't care and that I should have all my materials for class. Then, I go to music theory and Mrs. Garmer asks me to play-with a broken hand-some random piece from Beethoven, or what not-it might have been Mozart, I wasn't really listening. It's just-everyone expects me to be all right even when I'm not. I'm broken down and being repaired and trying…but I'm not okay yet, you know? I can't do everything I used to…and frankly, I'm too tired to try."

"Then don't. Tell them screw you and tell them to look at their e-mails. I know the principal sent one to all your teachers," she encouraged him, opening her English book. "Now, keep ranting. I've got to try and finish this before next period."

"I'm done ranting," he promised, opening his AP US History book. "Plus, I have therapy today, which means I'm gonna need as much energy as possible."

"That ought to be fun. How are you getting there?"

"Um..I think Lucas is going to drop me off…I hope. 'Cause it's a hell of a long walk. What are you doing this afternoon?"

"I have a dance class at 4:15 that I offered to teach. It's for four and five year olds, so it won't hurt me. I've already talked to my doctor about it; he said it was fine."

"A dance class? Really? That's…that's good, right?"

"Hell yes, that's good. Soon I'll be doing jetés and arabesques all day long."

"And I can see that fine body in that itty bitty little tutu thing? Score one for me," Nathan replied, mischief in his eyes.

"And I can see this conversation going nowhere but the gutter," she returned, smirking. "Your minds in the gutter a lot these days."

"I'm dating the hottest girl in this school-my mind is in the gutter, yes. God, what do you think got me through that week at the hospital-"

"Oh, you're freaking gross. Get out of the gutter. Now. Or I'm gonna leave and steal your crutch," she joked, taking his crutch from his side.

"Give that back!" he called, reaching over her body.

"Well, well , well, look at the cripple and the freak." Nathan's head shot up, adjusting to the beefy body of one of the football player. "And here I thought someone beat you bad enough to tell you that they-or we-don't want you here."

"Sorry, that's only in your pathetic, cretin mind. See, I tend not to listen to assholes, so if you will, scurry along to your group of moronic friends and let me enjoy spending time with my girlfriend. And, lay a hand on me, not only will I kick your ass when I get better, but my brother will slit your throat now, my father will sue you and whoever your Neanderthal of a father is, and my ex-Marine physical therapist will personally beat the hell out of you for damaging something he's worked so hard to make better. Get the picture now, Dick?" Nathan spat out, standing up with each word. "Don't mess with me, douche bag. I've seen and been through a lot worse that your pathetic threat. Go away. Now."

Haley sputtered out a laugh, as did others around them that had heard the conversation. "God, he schooled you," she said to the kid, a gleam of trouble in her eye.

"Oh, just you wait, _Haley_," the guy replied menacingly, turning on his heel and walking away. Haley laughed, wrapping her arms around Nathan's waist, leaning in to kiss him.

"I have a way with words, admit it," he whispered, kissing her again.

"You, mister, have a way with words," she replied, giving him a final kiss.

**----In the End----**

"Maybe I shouldn't have gone back this early," Nathan admitted to Derek as they walked around the hospital, Nathan's good arm trailing the wall, his bad clutched tightly to his rib. "I got up, had to have Lucas help me get dressed, down talked the fumbling football idiot, and…now my knee's killing me. So I think I took it a little too fast."

"Are you going back tomorrow?" Derek asked, stopping them, straightening out Nathan's knee and his brace. "Concentrate on making sure your foot stays straight when you walk."

Nathan nodded, looking down at his feet. "Yeah, I'm going back tomorrow. It might hurt, but I'm not gonna step down from the battle."

"Atta boy. Down talked the fumbling football idiot…who would that be?"

"Some jerk-off who thinks it's the thing to degrade hurt people?" Nathan grasped for words, tripping over his feet. Derek caught him, once again steadying him. "Dammit."

"You're doing fine, Nathan. Just relax," Derek reassured the teen, smiling. "Remember, this is going to take time. We're going to go to the stairwell and go downstairs, okay? Then we'll head over to the cafeteria, get some water, and back to the therapy room." Nathan nodded, keeping his eyes straight forward. "Did you use your crutches today?"

"One of them. I was really slow today. I felt like…"

"Nathan, you go as slow as you need to. You're doing amazing for being out of the hospital for three weeks. You're walking and you're saying something by beating what people expect of you." Derek gave him a smile.

"Yeah, I know. I…I…" he stopped talking, staring at the wall. Derek immediately nodded to a nurse, eyes watching his arm and his chest twitch and seize.

"He's having a seizure. He's on a combination of Phenobarbital and Topiramate," Derek told the nurse as a gurney was rushed over. "He had a grand-mal seizure about three and a half or four weeks ago, and he's had three other partial seizures."

"What's his name?"

"Nathan Scott," Derek said quickly. "He's in the system." He watched as a doctor came over, looking at the printout the nurse gave him.

"He had head trauma?"

"He was hit with a metal pipe at least four times in his head-he's lucky he came out of it without major brain damage. They think he either got hit on his temporal lobe or he hit the concrete on it," Derek explained.

"Okay, take him to trauma one, set him up with an IV with 30 mg of Phenobarbital and another 20 of Topiramate. I want another head CT as soon as the seizure stops." Derek stopped listening, grabbing the printout of Nathan's personal information, dialing Dan's number.

"Hello? Derek?"

"Mr. Scott, you need to get to the hospital. Nathan's having a seizure-" Derek stopped talking as he watched Nathan's whole body start seizing.

"Keep his head straight!" the doctor yelled, calling for someone to page the neurologist.

"He's having a bad seizure. You need to get down here as soon as possible."

**----In the End----**

"Oh, God."

His voice was raw and scratchy, his head pounding, almost distracting him from the killer pain from everywhere else in his body.

"Nathan," Dan whispered excitedly, his hand on his son's shoulder. "Just lay down, go with the flow. You know the drill."

"What happened this time?"

"You had a seizure-a grand-mal."

Nathan let out a breath, disappointment evident. "Just freakin' great," he mumbled, twisting in the bed underneath his thin blanket. "I'm sorry you got called out of work."

"Nathan, why are you apologizing? You know I'd come. How are you feeling?"

"Like I banged my head against the wall about fifty-thousand times. Any word when I can go?"

"I think they want to keep you overnight," Dan replied truthfully. "Karen's on her way and Lucas is gonna bring Haley later."

"Why? I've been here before-I'm fine. God, I didn't even get to finish my therapy. I was walking today, Dad. Without my crutches, without anyone…it was me. I can do it.," he revealed with a smile.

His smile was infectious, and Dan quickly caught the infection. "You just called me Dad."

"Dad, you've been here the whole time without blinking an eye or thinking about yourself…what's more parental than that? Plus, considering you just shelled out tens of thousands of dollars to fix me…"

"You're invaluable, Nathan. Don't call me Dad because you feel obligated."

"I'm not obligated, Dad; it's just…I feel it's right." He murmured as he closed his eyes, falling back to sleep.

"How is he?" Derek asked, coming into the room.

"He's fine. I think he's really tired of all this happening to him; we all are."

"Stuff happens, Mr. Scott. You can't prepare for it and when it comes, it doesn't always stop immediately. You just have to wait it out."

"Yes…Dannnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy boy," a voice slurred, both men looking up to a long forgotten face. "Just have to wait it out and stick together. Like family."

"Deb…." Dan stammered out, inadvertently standing by the foot of Nathan's bed, to protect him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Wha' ya think, Dan? I wan' my baby boy back."

******Author's note:** If you want a sneak peak into my next story (ie basic summary) either **pm me or email me at thewriter07(at)yahoo(dot)com. Thank you all for your reviews! What did you think? R&R, please! Also, I made up teh medical stuff...I hope it's halfway decent!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Nor do I own the lyrics from Pain by Three Days Grace. Damn.

**Author's note:** If you want a sneak peak into my next story (ie basic summary) either **pm me or email me at thewriter07atyahoodotcom** (corrected from the writeratyahoodotcom. Thank you all for your reviews! Also, all those that have requested a summary, **I will be getting them out soon**. I want the idea totally concrete before I put it out. Also, get out the shovel and get ready to bury me...

**Chapter Fifteen: Three Words: Break Down, Break Up, Break Through**

_"We have seen better days."_**-William Shakespeare**

Dan watched Deb uncomfortably, eyes momentarily shifting from her slurring, bumbling figure to his sleeping son, still unaware of the chaos that had returned to his life. "You're not allowed to have him," Dan finally said. "You signed the papers, and I'm damn well not giving him up."

"Mah babeeeee will want to coooooooooome back to me, Daaannn," Deb replied, pushing past him, haphazardly setting her brown paper bag on the bedside table that held his ice cubes and water. "Nathan. Nathan, wake up!!!" She shoved his shoulder, and when he didn't respond, she shoved it again.

"Oh yeah, that's one way to show you care," Dan snapped, moving in between his son and his mother. "Derek, can you get her out of here, please?"

"Sure, Mr. Scott. Lady, c'mon now, get out." Derek was in full Marine mode, grabbing Deb's arm.

"GET OFF OF ME!!!" She slurred, her raised voice rousing her sleeping son.

"Mom?" he muttered, his eyes still clouded over with haziness. "Mom? What are you doing here?" Dan moved to his son's side, offering him the cup of ice water to soothe his throat. "Is this some bad dream?"

"No, Natey…I'm her'," Deb answered with a wide, toothy smile. He winced, blue eyes focused not on his mother, nor his father, but on the brown paper bag sitting by his bed.

"Get that out of here," He spat out, pushing the bottle, watching it fall off the beside table, the clear liquid of her oh-so-precious vodka spilling onto the linoleum floor. "Dad…"

"Ssshh, buddy, go back to sleep," Dan coaxed his son. "I'll deal with this. You just go back to bed…you need your rest." Nathan nodded absentmindedly, already feeling sleep coming toward him.

"Ma'am, I told you once to get out. Leave or I'm gonna call security, and then call the cops," Derek threatened, nodding to the nurse that came in.

"Need any help, Derek?"

"She was just leaving, Madeline. Nathan woke up for a couple minutes-he's still really disoriented."

"I see she spilled something. Let me go find something to clean it up with." The nurse waited for Deb to leave, obvious in that sign, nodding to Dan. "I'll page his doctor for you.. Derek, I don't think he'll be finishing his physical therapy today." The man smiled, following the nurse out.

"How did she know I was here?" Nathan asked, opening his eyes. "Why is she here?"

"I don't know, Nathan. I thought I told you to go back to sleep? I will handle this, okay? Don't worry yourself about it."

"Dad, my mother just randomly showed up. How can I not worry about it?"

"Because you are supposed to be resting so you can go home." Nathan smirked, shaking his head.

"I'm going home regardless of what these people say. I've spent way too much time in the damn hospital the past month, and I don't plan on wasting any more of said time here. I'm gonna get better, and I'm gonna live my life," Nathan declared, a smile lighting his face as Haley came in his room, rushing toward him. "And be with my girl."

"And your girl wants to be with you," she returned, leaning in to kiss him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Haley. It was probably just stress. Not that seeing my mother walking around here drunk was helping, but…"

"Your mom's here?"

Nathan nodded. "Just another brick in my wall, right?" he asked casually, hugging her tight.

**----In the End----**

"You're a really nasty bitch sometimes, you know?" Nathan snapped at his mother, trying to push past her into the school. "Why are you here? I'm fine-I don't need you here to muck up my life!"

"I was a little…drunk, Nathan, I'll admit-"

"_You're always drunk!_" He exclaimed, not bothering with the people watching them. "I'm not in the mood to yell at you, and I'm not in the mood to see you, so go away. I have school." Pain inched over his face as he slowly made his way inside the building, leaning heavily on his crutch. He grimaced as Haley touched his shoulder, leaning in to kiss him. 

"That's not a good face…"

"Mmm…Mom was standing in front of our school, wanting to talk. About being drunk in my hospital room. That's all I need today." He shrugged her off, leaving her in the hall, by herself. She was hurt; he was closing her off, not wanting to talk to her, to let her see his broken and battered spirit, to try and put it back together. 

"Nathan?" she called, watching him turn around. "I love you." He simply nodded, his back to her. She sighed, feeling tears in her eyes. She stopped them quickly, searching for her best friend, for her answers. "Lucas!" She called, spotting him making out with Peyton in an empty classroom. "I need to talk to you."

"About what?" He snapped, looking back at Peyton, then again at Haley, sighing an apology to his girlfriend before leaving her. "What's wrong?"

"What's up with your brother?"

"Nathan? I don't know-he was home yesterday, but he was up in his room the whole time. I haven't really talked to him. Why?"

"Because he won't talk to me-"

"Haley, nothing's wrong with him. He's just stressed. Give him some time." He kissed her forehead, walking back toward Peyton. The seventeen year old girl sighed, wishing someone, anyone, would believe her.

She caught the eyes of Deb, watching her curiously, and she walked over to the woman. "Leave him alone! For God Sakes, leave him the hell alone!"

"Honey, go back to your little school…"

"Shut up, Deb. I could walk circles over your intelligence any day, so whatever moronic thing you have to say, I could respond with an oh-so-subtle snark and you wouldn't know what to say. Get out of his life! He's so much better here. He's doing so good here-he has everything he needs and everything he would ever want. Don't ruin that."

"It's my time to get what I want, little girl. I don't care what he has here; he's mine and I'm taking him back."

"Oh, I'd really like to see you tell that to Dan. Well listen, this little girl has to go to school and get this thing called an education…which you obviously lack…so, go find a bar and whore it up."

**----In the End----**

"What's wrong with you today?" Derek asked his young patient as they sat at a table, Nathan focusing on picking up the buttons with his broken arm and putting them into a glass. Yet another side effect of the beating that he learned later-his motor skills had lost their fine tuning.

"Nothing."

"Oh yeah, one-word answers constitute as nothing. Is it your mom?"

"Part of it is."

"Ah, something to work with. I thought your father took care of that," Derek said, stopping Nathan mid-task to straighten his fingers and comment on how he needed to concentrate on moving from point A to point B without hitting a point C, like his chest, which was what the casted hand was doing.

"He can't stop her from showing up at my school or at the hospital wanting to talk to me," Nathan commented, biting his bottom lip as he tried to follow the directions.

"No, Nathan, you're still trying to support it on your chest before you move it to the glass." Derek grabbed a dry erase marker, writing A beside the pile of buttons, B beside the glass, and drawing a line between the two. "Follow the line." Nathan nodded, finding it easier to focus on the line. "So, next week's supposed to be your last day for therapy, but I wanna keep you another couple of weeks."

"That's fine, Derek," Nathan said absentmindedly, gaze out the window of the therapy room, where his mom was standing. "God. Will she freaking leave me alone?"

Derek followed his stare. "I'm going to call security. You concentrate on getting the buttons in this glass, okay?"

"Just leave her alone, Derek. It's not gonna help anything. I'll take care of it-Dammit!" He watched the glass topple over, buttons spilling out onto the table. He tried frenziedly to pick them up, but Derek stopped him.

"It's okay, Nathan. Let me get them up and we'll start again. We both just need to focus a little more on our task."

"Why are we doing this? Isn't this like occupational therapy or something?"

"I needed something low-stress for you today; we don't want any more stress-triggered seizures. We'll go back to your real therapy tomorrow."

"Thank God."

"Hey, anymore smart-ass comments and we'll do this again tomorrow." Nathan smirked, his mom almost forgotten.

**----In the End----**

"What are you doing here?" Nathan asked as he stepped out of the therapy room, blue eyes on his mother. "You aren't getting custody back of me. You lost that chance, and any others you may have had. So get lost."

"Nathan-it was me and you against the world, baby. What happened?"

"I grew up and you got drunk," Nathan stated, making his way to the entrance and pick-up loop at the front of the hospital, knowing his father's Expedition would be there, waiting for him.

"You know, I'm gonna get you back, Nathan! You can't just walk away from me!" The boy turned, glaring at her, eyes full of frustration.

"Watch me." He kept his blue eyes forward, not even looking back to see what she was doing.

"Nathan!" Haley called, coming across the hospital hall.

"What are you doing here?" How ironic, he thought, asking the same question of the two women that despised one another the most.

"Did I just see your mot-"

"Haley, I can't…I gotta go, okay? Dad's waiting for me."

"You know, I'm sure he'd give you some time with your girlf-"

"Haley I can't! Bye! I'll talk to you later."

_And my, Mr. Scott, what a great asshole you've become. Just like your mother._

**----In the End----**

"What's wrong with you, kiddo?"

Nathan looked up from his spot on the balcony, his dad barely made out in the approaching darkness. "Thinking," he whispered, running his hands through his hair. 

"About what? You didn't eat much-correct that, anything- at dinner, so I figured something was on that mind of yours'. What is it?" Dan asked, sitting on the chair opposite of Nathan's, watching his son give him a sad smile, wondering if it was even worth telling Dan about. "Nate?"

"I want to play my piano. I need to play my damn piano," he replied instead, figuring he'd avoid the topic as long as humanly possible.

"You haven't wanted to do that in awhile. Now I know something's bad. What is it?"

"I'm just….I'm tired of being hurt and having my life screwed up and…I'm just tired of it all."

"Nathan, you're gonna get better, okay? We all know it's not easy for you, but it's gonna be over soon-"

"The seizures aren't just going to be over! I'm stuck with them permanently because someone decided it'd be fun to take a baseball bat to my head! My hand may never be the same! Nothing is going to be normal again. What if I can't play basketball? What if I'm like this for the rest of my life?" Nathan yelled. "God damn."

"Nathan, I won't tolerate that in my house. Maybe you just need to walk away from some things, Nathan. Maybe you just need some time to get better inside and out by yourself."

"I can't lose Haley, Dad. She got me through everything."

"But Nathan, if this hurts you, then you shouldn't be doing it. And that includes a relationship. I know you love Haley, but she wouldn't want you hurt-"

"I'd hurt her by doing that, Dad. And like I said, I can't lose her."

"Better to lose her for a little while now than for forever later," Dan said, giving his son a small smile, patting his forearm. "She'll be hurt, but imagine if you let this go on. Everything will work out-just take care of yourself first. When you get hurt, it becomes my business. Remember that."

He hoped he chose the right thing.

**----In the End----**

Nathan took a breath, knocking on the door to the two-story house he rarely visited. A short time later, he sent a painful smile to Haley as she opened the door, beckoning him inside. "Hi," she whispered hopefully, her hand on his chest, over his heart, and he wondered if she could hear the intense pounding of his nervousness. "You want to come upstair-"

"No, Haley. Why don't we talk out here?"

"Um… sure. Just let me grab…let me grab a coat." He nodded, taking a seat on the swing outside, leaning his crutch on the siding of the house. She soon joined him, tucking her feet into her body as they swung together in the silence.

"I can't do this anymore, Haley," he said finally, turning to look at her. "I love you, but I can't deal with _us_ at the moment. And I feel like you've got so many things that are so much greater than me in this world."

_There it was, the end._

"Nathan-I just want to be with you." He nodded, again, eyes down, trying to blink away the tears that he had promised himself in the beginning he was going to cry. "Please-can't we make this work-"

"Look at us, Haley. I'm snapping at you, trying to degrade you, and you're **begging**. Happy Us didn't do that…and I don't want to be the person that has to demean you to feel better about my how freaking situation. I love you, and I can't do that to you."

"What do you think this is doing?" She yelled suddenly, furious. "You look at us, and you see that? I think you're scared, scared to fight, scared to let someone else in. Well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen, his mom has won. God, Nathan…love isn't easy; you're supposed to fight with one another, _for_ one another…"

"I can't fight, Haley, not this part. And, what's more, as much as I could tell you that I wanted to fight, I don't. I want to not break your heart-"

"You're doing a damn good job of it, by the way," she snapped satirically, punching his shoulder as hard as she could. When he looked up at her, she shook her head. "Why then? Why did you waste my time?"

"Haley-"

"Why? I could have found someone else-someone who wouldn't be breaking up with me because he feels he can't handle his dumb ass mother and his caring girlfriend and the damn situation he got in. Sorry, Nathan but that's no excuse."

"It's not like that!"

"You're so full of shit, you know? That's exactly it. Your mom comes back and messes with your life and you drop everything to fight her, including the one person that wants to help you the most. Tell me, Nathan, are you gonna break it off with Dan? Tell him how you want better for him and you aren't worth it? What about Lucas? I have news for you. I'm not weak, and I'm not gonna back down. So go, leave, break up with me-but you'll come back. You'll come back broken and beaten and then…maybe then you'll know what a real relationship is. It's not running away and hiding-it's sticking through hell and high water for it."

He eyed her sadly, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "I do love you, Haley. I'll see you around." He struggled to stand, grabbing the crutch. She watched him leave, wiping the tears off her face, almost wanting to yell at him, go running after, grabbing him and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

Instead, she wiped away her tears to give way to new ones.

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough,  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

**Author's Note**: Who's ready to kill me?


	17. Chapter 17

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Author's note:** If you want a sneak peak into my next story (ie basic summary) either **pm me or email me at thewriter07[atyahoo[dotcom** (corrected from the writer[atyahoo[dotcom) Thank you all for your reviews! Also, all those that have requested a summary, **I will be getting them out soon**. I am coming with those summaries, I SWEAR! I've just been so busy-i'm going to college in August, so I've been getting all that ready, plus I work 5-6 days a week and I've got other obligations to try and take care of...plus, another idea might be starting to form in my head. The way I figure it though, I've still got **at least ten** more chapters for this story-plenty enough before I even start to write my next story-so you'll get the summary way in advanced of the actual story.

Now, without further ado...

**Chapter Sixteen: I'll Fight Back Against My Adversaries **

_"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all."_**-Joe from **_**The Princess Diaries**_

_"He'd like it if you were there Monday, Haley."_

"Who would, Luke?" his friend asked as she shrugged off her jacket, throwing it on her bed.

"Who do you think?"

"My ex? I'm not going anywhere near him, Lucas. I'm still hurt from him."

"He's facing the people who attacked him, Haley-the people that put him in the hospital for a week and a half, who beat him so badly that he has seizures now, that took away his normal life-he needs all the support he can get. Especially from those he loves. And yes, Haley, he loves you. He mopes around the house and mutters about acting like a fool with you and how stupid he was. Three months of putting up with that!"

"Then all he has to do is tell me so. Tell _**me**__ he wants me back, or that he was stupid, or that he acted foolish! That's all I want! Do you not think I miss him? It's hard seeing him as torn apart as he is-but I'm going to do anything until he apologizes. And you can tell him that for me."_

Haley sighed, writing something in her notebook, her eyes refocusing on the words in her history book. She had a mid-term coming up that she was worried about, plus she had been following the trial. She knew Nathan was testifying tomorrow, and he was probably scared out of his mind. It would be the first time that he had seen Jorge, or any of the attackers, since the beating.

But really, was he entitled to have her there in his battle? He was the one who had pushed her away, and then, had gone out of _his_ way to make sure she wasn't included in anything in his life. He had hurt her, humiliated her with that behavior, but now she wondered if he should face the consequences.

Across town, Nathan sat at his piano, fingers poised over the keys. It had taken two months of therapy to get his body into normal working order again; two months of sweat and tears and frustration and doubt. He still had a tendency to rest his hand against his ribs, and he had to concentrate to write and play, much more than he ever had to before. Every night, without fail, he sat with Dan for an hour just tossing a tennis ball to fine tune those fine motor skills.

_"You're doing great, Nathan," Dan commented, tossing the basketball-formed tennis ball back to his son. Dan figured if Nathan had to do this, he'd give him something he liked to throw._

"You would say that. God, it's so freaking hard to get it to go where I want it to," Nathan complained, his arm following the line they had drawn on the glass table with the dry erase marker. When Dan had found out that Nathan did much better when his arm could follow a certain path, he had drawn the same line on the glass table in his office, despite the protests from his youngest son about how he would ruin the table.

"Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not worth it."

"Is that supposed to be some sort of double-meaning metaphor for my relationship with Haley? Cause I've heard it all-I've been called it all."

"Take it at whatever value you want it, Nate. I'm not going to criticize what you did-as long as you can live with your decision."

"I can-I just hope everyone else can…."

"You're nervous."

Nathan looked up, giving his brother a sort-of smile. "I have to testify tomorrow-they're going to tear me apart. I told the lawyer that I didn't want to testify-he just didn't listen."

"Nathan, this whole case revolves around what they did to you. You have to testify."

"Why don't you try being the one that has to testify against the man that made your life a living hell for a couple of months? Better yet, the one that ruined it. The guy scares me, all right? He scares me! And this time I don't have Haley there. So…yes, I'm screwed. Just-when they tear me apart, tell the judge to make them stop."

"I will, little brother, I will," Lucas whispered, fading away into the darkness to go plead with his best friend once again.

**----In the End----**

"The prosecution will call it's final witness. However, may I approach the bench?" The DA asked the Honorable Judge Martin C. Cortez of North Carolina's Superior Court. The gray-headed judge nodded, and both the DA and the defense attorney, a sleezeball by the name of Max Montgomery, approached. "Due to the victim's age and the fact that the crime was committed towards him, the state would like to request a closed court for the testimony-including just the jury, yourself, the court reporter, Mr. Montgomery and myself-"

"Wait a minute….my client has a right to face his accuser…"

"Not when it's a seventeen-year-old-boy that can barely form sentences when looking at the defendant. It is essential to the state's case that the boy testify, but how effective can he be if he's stuttering over words?"

"Your honor, that's not a reason for a closed court. The DA should have appropriately warned their witness about what he would be facing in court."

"Though you present a valid argument, it's in this court's opinion that the DA has presented a compelling point. We will reconvene in ten minutes in judge's chambers. The bailiff will stay with the defendant, as will the court guards. Mr. Grayson, please call your next witness."

"The state calls Nathan Scott to the stand."

The judge banged the gavel. "The court is in recess for ten minutes. Mr. Scott, the bailiff will accompany you to judge's chamber's now."

Nathan nodded, giving his dad a nervous smile as he followed the older bailiff into the smaller room. 

Ten minutes later, he sat in front of the two lawyers, staring Max Montgomery down. "Mr. Scott, when did you first meet the defendant Jorge Raines?"

"Um…my mom started dating him awhile ago-I guess a year and a half or so."

"And is that the only way you knew him?"

"No…I used to run drugs for him," Nathan admitted ashamedly. "He used to make me run drugs for him."

"Make you-"

"He used to hit me."

"Okay-you talk about this in past tense-"

"I haven't seen my mom or her boyfriend since I got caught with the drugs… a year ago?" Nathan again guessed, moving around uncomfortably in the seat.

"We now submit into evidence Exhibit 22-C, a copy of the intake report for Nathan Scott into the Courtland Juvenile Facility in Raleigh." He handed a copy to both the judge and the jury foreman before returning to his questioning. "You got caught with drugs-"

"I was running some marijuana to Durham- to one of Jorge's addicts."

"You say you haven't seen your mother or the defendant since then?"

"My mom gave up custody to my dad the next day. I hadn't seen either of them until the day of the music festival in Raleigh."

"The music festival in Raleigh-why were you there?"

"My brother and my girlfriend at the time wanted me to go-so I did."

"What happened next?"

"I saw Jorge and a bunch of his guys in the crowd. I tried to get away, but they cornered me in an alley. They had a metal pipe and all I remember is him hitting me in the head. I don't …I can't remember what happened after that. I woke up in the hospital-that's all I remember."

"But you do remember the defendant specifically hitting you first?"

"Yes-I remember the crack of the bat against my head and I remember looking into his face as he did it."

"I now submit into evidence Exhibit 22-D, the hospital report filled out by Dr. Aaron Bradshaw listing Mr. Scott's wounds, including a broken arm, severe damage to his ear and eye, damage to the occipital and temporal lobes of his brain, and tearing of the ligaments and tendons in his knee. The prosecution has no other questions."

Max Montgomery stood, and Nathan took a deep breath, staring him down. "You say you were running drugs for my client?"

"I **know** I was running drugs for your client," Nathan sniped back, letting out the breath he had taken in.

"And how is this jury supposed to believe that. According to your own record, Mr. Lee-by the way, it is Lee, considering you haven't signed any papers changing your name, you've been arrested multiple times for drug possession-starting when you were twelve."

"If you look at my record, most of my possessions weren't for marijuana-which is the only drug Jorge sold."

"Did anyone else see Mr. Raines in the crowd?"

"I really wouldn't know. Why don't you go find out? That's your job, isn't it?"

"Mr. Scott, please control yourself-" the judge cautioned the teen, who nodded, eyes back on his hands.

"So, no one else saw Mr. Raines in the crowd and yet you say he cornered you?"

"Objection-the officer on the stand yesterday connected Mr. Raines fingerprints with the metal pipe that hit Mr. Scott…"

"I'm sure plenty of people saw him! I don't know who, though!" Nathan said, exasperated.

"Order! Order!" The judge banged his gavel, glaring at Max Montgomery. "Have more respect and more tact, Mr. Montgomery. Next time, I will end this line of questioning. Mr. Scott, please don't raise your voice again. It's five o'clock-we'll rest for the day and pick up again on this line of questioning tomorrow at nine A.M."

Nathan sat back in the chair, watching his hand shake. He willed it to stop, praying that it didn't turn into a full-fledged seizure. The doctor would be all over him if he had another one-especially if it was stress related.

"Mr. Scott?" Nathan shook his head, looking back up at the judge. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I just need to…to go," Nathan stuttered, cursing himself mentally for the lapse. He climbed out of the seat, using his left hand to support him as he left the room.

"Nathan?" Dan called out in concern as his son entered the courtroom. He reached out for his son, eyes on the shaking hand. "Where's your medicine?"

"My…my pocket," Nathan whispered, sitting in the chair his father pointed to, watching the man hurriedly search through the pockets of Nathan's jacket, finally finding the bottle of pills. Nathan's hand continued shaking for a good thirty minutes after the pills were administered, after they left the courtroom for the hotel.

"Are you sure this was a good idea, sweetheart?" Karen asked the youngest, handing him a water bottle. "We can ask the-"

"I had to testify-I still have to. I need to explain," Nathan murmured before retreating into his room, locking the door.

**----In the End----**

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in a few moments, you will be dismissed and sent back to decide the innocence or guilt of the man sitting before you. But before you do, I want you to remember his victim-a young sixteen-year-old boy who was trying to get his life back on track. That same sixteen-year-old boy, despite all the pain and all the suffering he's been through, courageously took the stand and fought back against his attacker-and now he is counting on you to decide his final victory. The state has made a solid case against the defendant-his fingerprints on the weapon that repeatedly hit Nathan Scott-the same weapon that caused his life to change forever. Mr. Raines was a known drug dealer, and evidence of his brutality have been shown through other attacks on other victims and the police. And lastly, the victim himself provided a motive for the vicious attack-revenge for something Nathan Scott could not predict. So I now ask you to review all the evidence, take all the time you need, but find Jorge Raines guilty, not just because you believe in justice, but because you believe in protecting children such as Nathan Scott from monsters like the defendant in front of you." Anna Lee glared at the defendant as she sat down, accepting the hand shake from Tom Grayson for her well thought out and eloquent closing statement. 

Max Montgomery reviewed his papers for a moment, glancing back at the pesky thorn in his side-Nathan Scott. Sitting in the front row behind the DA, smiling confidently. Montgomery stood up, coming closer to the jury. "As the ADA said, in a few moments, you will be deciding of my client, Mr. Jorge Raines. Not the most upstanding citizen, but not the crazed animal the state wishes to present to you. My client, while being at the music festival around the same time as Mr. Scott, had nothing to do with his brutal attack, and feels betrayed by the boy-he considered him a son-" Many of the jurors couldn't help but hear the snot that came from Nathan. "Yes, my client's fingerprints were on the weapon-thousands of people's fingerprints were on the weapon. And yes, my client has been in two or three other courtrooms for simple battery-but nothing in the grotesque nature that Nathan Scott was brutalized in. So simply, ladies and gentlemen, my client, is not the monster that could commit such a horrific crime, and he does not deserve to be persecuted as the State has. So I ask you to look at the evidence, and vote the way I am confident you will-not guilty."

Nathan sat back in the seat, eyeing the back of Jorge's head, a satisfied smile on his face. Like Montgomery, he was confident-but confident that the son-of-a-bch would be found guilty of the six major charges he stood accused of. He watched the jury leave, sighing, wondering how long this would take.

"Hey, stranger." His eyes grew wide as Haley James slid into the bench beside him, smiling brightly.

"What are you doing here? We aren't together anymore, Hale-"

"You needed someone, so I'm here. For you." He let out the breath he was holding, glancing to Lucas, flipping him a bird as he stood up.

"You wanna take a walk? They're not going to be back anytime soon."

"Sure," Haley replied, taking his preoffered hand. Nathan felt the temperature rise a couple of degrees just looking at her, ultimately missing her. He led her out of the building, to the small but pleasantly attractive courtyard of the judicial building. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, actually. Yesterday was worse; I had a seizure. But um…I'm sorry, Haley."

"You had a seizure yesterday? Are you okay?"

"Did you not here the whole 'I'm sorry' part?" Nathan wondered, his laughing stopping as her hands searched his chest. "Haley, I'm fine."

'You sure?"

"And I'm sorry."

"Huh? For what?" she asked, a surprisingly confused expression on her face, as if she hadn't heard what he had been saying, to engulfed in her own guilt and concern to notice his apology.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dumping you, and I'm sorry for being an idiot, and I'm sorry-I'm sorry I couldn't see past my blind fears and trust you. I'm sorry I ruined everything," he admitted softly, taking her hand. "I just…I thought I should tell you that. And thank you for coming."

"Lucas said you needed me here, so I came." She straightened herself a little, thinking how good it felt to be near him. "It's amazing that if Lucas says you need me, I'll come running. Am I really that pathetic?"

"It's good to know you care," he returned with a smile, leaning against the sandy bricks of the building.

"It's good to know I can," she replied, watching his face light up as she took his hand. 

**----In the End----**

"Please rise, Mr. Raines." The defendant did so, taking a nervous look at his lawyer, then the twelve member jury-10 males, 2 women, good for him, Montgomery had said. Slightly more dominant men who knew what it was like to have control taken away and how easily they got angry by it. Submissive women who obeyed their men. Stack the jury in his favor, Montgomery had said.

"In the case of Mr. Jorge Raines, case number 25-638, on the count of aggravated assault, how do you find the defendant?" Jorge looked at the foreman, the woman's eyes on the judge, never flinching, even under the glare of the man she was about to decide fate for.

"Guilty."

"On the count of attempted 1st degree murder, how do you find the defendant?"

"Guilty."

"On the count of assault and battery, how do you find the defendant?"

"Guilty, Your honor."

"On the count of assault with a deadly weapon, how do you find the defendant?"

"Guilty."

"On the count of assault with intent to commit murder, how do you find the defendant?"

"Guilty, your honor."

"And finally, on the count of possession of a controlled substance, how do you find the defendant?"

The woman looked squarely at Jorge Raines, a slightly present smile on her face, answered "guilty."

On the bench in the first row, as the crowd burst out with applause and protests, Nathan felt Haley slide her hand into his, and he knew that, for the first time in months, it would all be okay.

**so what did you think?**


	18. Chapter 18

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn. Or the song _Glory_ from _RENT_. Double Damn.

**Author's note:** Sorry for the wait. Most of it's been done, but I've had trouble with the ending, and I still don't like it, but I wanted to go ahead and get this out. Next chapter will deal with...duh duh dun duh...Christmas...in July! It's perfect!  
Now, without further ado...

**Chapter Seventeen: Monday Means Everything Turns Back to Normal**

_"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."_**-Martin Luther King, Jr.**

"You can do this."

His pep talk wasn't working. Maybe that was because it was late at night-or _really_ early in the morning-but he was trying to get over this weird-ass fear he had of talking in front of the judge, and Jorge, and the lawyer, and the others in the courtroom.

"You can do this."

Yeah, right. He could barely stand to stand in front of people, and on the stand he had nearly choked, and that was only in front of fifteen people. He hated being out in front of a crowd-he stuttered and he stumbled and he usually miserably failed at getting words out.

"You can do this."

How? He couldn't even get the words down on paper. How was he supposed to say them outloud to people that he didn't know?

"You can do this."

No, he _fucking_ couldn't.

"You can do this." The voice had warped, and now it was the sweet sing-song soprano belonging to the girl he currently lusted after. "I believe in you Nathan."

As if it was that simple.

"Yeah, well, I don't believe in me-I _can't _do this, Haley! I can't!" He said,, looking around his small once-was sitting room, the only light from the overhead lamp. 

"Nathan, you can do anything you set your mind to." There she was again-the ever optimist that he loved. He closed his eyes, imagining her, a smile slowly making it's way on his face.

And he began to write.

**----In the End----**

No one in this town knew how much it hurt.

Everyday, to take a handful of pills and try to relax and not be…herself. Everyday, to come home to be greeted with those multi-colored and multi-sized pills on a post it with _Here are your pills. Love ya, Haleybob_ on them as if they were the Flintstone vitamins she used to take, not some damn anti-rejection medication that, on some days, made her so sick that her stomach crawled and she didn't want to leave her bed. 

Those days were the worst.

No one in this town knew how much it hurt.

She couldn't dance-at least, not at the level she used to do. She could walk, and jump, and sometimes even do combinations, but she just couldn't be like she used to-full on grace and poise and balance-and so _not_ like her.

No one in this town knew how much it hurt.

Most nights, she stayed up. Nightmares often plagued her memories-nightmares of how it hurt before she had the surgery, of how it hurt after-of the many toilets she held her head over, puking her stomach and all it's content up and -that's why she was up now, at this hour.

The big 3 A.M.

No one in this town knew how much it hurt.

How she suffered day in and day out to live her half-way normal life without letting…_that_ affect her. Know one knew how she hid her life from the world. No one knew that there was only one thing that really, truly eased the pain-much better than some pill-but that he wasn't technically part of her life anymore…or, he hadn't been.

Until, hopefully, maybe now.

No one in this town knew how much it hurt.

"I do, baby." the deep voice of her raven-haired sweetheart enveloped her, comforting her qualms and pain, soothing her.

"I know exactly what it feels like."

And, even if he wasn't really there, she could feel him beside her. Holding her. Loving her.

Knowing exactly how it felt to hurt, but also how it felt to know that someone loved him back unconditionally.

**----In the End----**

"Your Honor?" the judge looked at the prosecutor, trying not to level a glare. "The victim would like to speak to the court before sentencing." The judge's face softened, and he nodded. Nathan took a deep breath, standing up, feeling Haley give his hand one last, encouraging squeeze. He reached into his pocket, unfolding the piece of paper he had spent the last week writing.

"Every night from seven to eight, I sit in my dad's office with him and throw a ball. Every night, without fail, for the past three and a half months. I toss a basketball-looking tennis ball, concentrating on having my hand follow a straight line we drew on a glass table. Every night I do this, and every night I get frustrated when my hand flinches or I drop the ball.

"I can thank Jorge Raines for my trouble. One of those hits from the pipe hit me in my back, pinching some disc in my spine, causing my arm to not function as well as it should. Another hit bruised my temporal lobe, and I'm now on a seizure watch-another reason my arm doesn't function properly. I've suffered five grand-mal seizures in the past couple of months, and countless other partial ones. All because of Jorge.

"Why ruin someone's life, people protest? Why send them to jail when they can be rehabilitated? After all, he's just a man…just as human as the rest of us. Well, what about me? That **man** _ruined_ my life! I can't be rehabilitated-I've already gone through that. I can't just see a therapist and have my seizures go away. My arm will never be the same. My _life_ will never be the same.

"So screw Jorge Raines. He should suffer just like I have. I'd love to see him walk in my shoes for one day-to see the damage he caused, to see the pain I go through and the stuff I will never be able to fix." Nathan paused, wiping a tear from his eyes as he turned to face the defendant, trying to keep a grip on his emotions. "Thanks, by the way, for everything. For the seizures, for the damage in my ear, for the cornea transplant I had to have, for the eight hour surgery I had to endure to fix my ear and my eye, to the three nights I spent in ICU after suffering a seizure, for the six hour surgery on my knee, the three hour surgery on my arm, the two weeks I had to spend in Raleigh memorial hospital so they could make sure I was stable. Thanks for slight hearing impairment I have, the headaches and migranes I get because of my irreversibly damaged Eustacean tube, the two months of intense therapy I had to go through for my knee, the numerous falls and set backs, the month away from school-thank you for all of that. I hope you become someone's bitch in jail as you rot away, the fear and pain that you suffer slowly ebbing away at you until you finally can't stand it anymore, and then you will know what you put me through in these past few months."

He turned back to the judged, feeling his arm start to shake, knowing every pair of eyes in the courtroom was on his arm. "I can't tell you what to give him. But I can ask you and I can plead with you to give him the maximum sentence so he can feel the torture I've been through because he and his cronies decided to pick up a pipe and bash me with it. Just-please…make him feel that for me. Make him pay for what he did to me-make him take responsibility of his actions."

Haley was the first one to pull him into some sort of physical contact as he came from the podium, hiding his hand in his coat pocket, praying with it to stop.

"Would anyone else like to say something before I make my final ruling?" Martin Cortez asked the courtroom from his regal setting above everyone else. He watched the courtroom: Nathan Scott, being comforted by his family, Jorge Raines watching his hands idly, wondering if this was it for him. "Okay, then. The court is recessed for one hour, and we will start again at ten fifteen." With a bang of his gavel, Cortez retired to his chambers to think, and Nathan stood up to stretch, feeling Haley stand beside him, pushing him out of the bench. She followed him out of the room, down to the courtyard they had been in not even a month ago.

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling him melt into the embrace, his arms going around her. She could feel the slight tremor from his arm, but she tried to ignore it as much as possible. "You're okay, right?"

"Yeah…just a little stressed, and we all know my seizures get out of control when I'm stressed," he replied. "You know, after this is the weekend, and then there's Monday. Monday means everything turns back to normal. I think this is the first time I can't wait for Monday to come."

"That's a first time for any teenager," she quipped, smiling at him.

"I like to be a trendsetter," he whispered into her ear, making her laugh. She rested her cheek against his chest, feeling his warmth through his thin sweater. She looked up at him, grinning as he rested his forehead against hers'. "Thank you for being here. I love you, Haley."

"I love you, too, Nathan. You know that." He nodded, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against her lips. 

"Wanna….go out with me tomorrow night?"

"What if I had another date?" she teased.

"I'd…I might actually cry. Haley, you wouldn't want to make me cry. Imagine what it'd do to my reputation."

"Okay…I'll go out with you. But know this, Nathan Scott, I won't forgive you again. I'm serious."

"I'd be an idiot to let you go again, Haley. I'm not an idiot."

"Good. What are we doing tomorrow night?" He grinned, resting her against the wall, wondering how many people would actually mind the two teenagers making out in the courthouse's courtyard.

**----In the End----**

She squeezed his hand.

He needed it. He was nervous, and he could feel eyes in the courtroom on him, watching him as the judge came in with his final decision.

He felt Dan's hand on his shoulder, being encouraging, as Dan always was. "You going to be okay with whatever ruling they come up with?" Dan whispered into his ear, his concern for his son almost touching the boy's heart, bringing back memories of less than a year ago when Nathan would barely talk to his father and he questioned every fatherly move the man made.

"Yeah. I think the fact that he got found guilty suppressed a lot of my feelings," Nathan assured the man, feeling Haley grip his hand. "Besides, this isn't part of my life anymore, remember? You beat him up for me." Dan grinned, squeezing Nathan's shoulder. "I got a call from Greg reminding me of your, um, court date."

"I have a court date?"

"January 23, for your probation and stuff."

"Oh…nice to remember that. I did my community service-I did that before I got hurt."

"I'm just glad someone reminded us," Dan laughed, straightening up as the judge walked in. He saw Haley wrap her arm around Nathan's waist from the corner of his eye, and he smiled, knowing that his son would definitely be okay.

"These decisions are always difficult. You have to weigh the rights of the victim and the abuse that the victim has taken as well as the rights of the defendant. Mr. Raines, please stand. Today, my decision was fairly simple. Throughout this trial, you have shown no remorse for your crimes, including a potentially devastating bashing to a teenager whose life is barely beginning. I…the victim's voice truly outshined any reasoning you'd have to commit your crime. This is your third felony charge-or the first charge you had was the third felony-so I am bound by law to sentence you to the maximum sentence-life without parole." Gasps in the courtroom came from Nathan's family, and he turned to Haley, hugging her tightly as the gavel rang for the trial to, finally, come to an end.

And she kissed him.

And everyone finally knew the truth, again.

**----In the End----**

"I love you."

What simple words. She couldn't believe how easily they could say them to one another after their break-up. But Saturday night had been about reconnecting under the stairs as they watched the boats pass down the river. They had talked about the three months they were apart, Nathan's misery, Haley renewed effort into her dancing. They talked about his therapy, and about his continued efforts to correct his arm and the effects of his seizures. 

"So you're still having them?"

"Yeah. I had one two or three weeks ago. I had to go to the hospital 'cause I wouldn't stop seizing. I have to go to some specialist of Christmas break-some neurologist who specializes in seizures. They're going to try and figure out what's wrong with my head and fix it. Which might mean more surgery."

"What? But-"

"We have to try everything. That's what Dad says. It amazes me the blind faith the man has in me and what he's willing to do for me. The surgeries I've had have cost like fifty-thousand dollars, and he pays the bills every single time without saying a word about how much I'm costing him."

"Nathan, your father loves you and would do anything for you," Haley whispered, running her hand through his hair as his head laid in her lap. "I love you."

"I love you too, Hales. I'm so glad you're back here with me, for me…"

"I was always there, Nathan. Even when we weren't together."

"I was just the idiot that didn't realize it."

An hour later, Nathan returned home, a happy smile on his face. "You missed your therapy," Dan commented as he walked through the kitchen.

"I'm sorry-"

"How was your date?"

"It was good. I've missed Haley." He opened the fridge, grabbing a water with his bad hand, feeling Dan smile. "We tossed a rock back and forth-I did my therapy."

"Good. Greg called again."

"That doesn't sound good-"

"Your mom's making a fuss. He has to come look around for a home inspection and he needs to talk to you-"

"God-"

"Don't even say it, Nathan. Greg knows you're fine here, and he know that our house is the better choice for you. You're shaking-"

"My hand does that when I'm stressed, Dad-"

"Don't be stressed. I'll take care of it-"

"You always take care of it," Nathan whispered.

"You're my son. And I take care of my own. So don't worry, and don't stress. Dr. Bradshaw will have your head if you have to go back to Raleigh. He's seen you enough," Dan said. "Now, shoo-"

Nathan retreated upstairs, to his piano, feeling like he hadn't played in ages. His fingers took their place, the song gently being coaxed out. _"One song/glory/ one song before I go/ glory/ one song to leave behind"_ he sung in a whisper, repeating the rest of the lyrics from the _RENT_ song. _"Time flies,"_ he whispered at the end, _"And then no need to endure anymore/ Time Dies…"_

**----In the End----**

"We don't really need to do this," Nathan said to Greg as he opened the door to the house, pushing his hands into his pockets. "My mom's a lying bitch that will do anything to try and keep me attached to her."

"Nathan, I have to do it. If inquiries come up-"

"But you're not going to take me away?"

Greg eyed him questioningly, shaking his head. "Why the hell would I do that? Nathan, stop worrying. How have you been?"

"Okay. You know Jorge got life in prison without parole?" Nathan said excitedly, looking over as Greg walked through the living room. "What exactly are you inspecting?"

"Depends on the child I'm looking in on. If it were you at your mother's house, I'd be looking for any kind of alcohol or drug paraphernalia, some kids it's some of the parent's mannerisms…and that's great, by the way, about Jorge. How are the seizures?"

"Still happening. I'm going over Christmas break to see some specialist. Dr. Bradshaw thinks there might be reparable damage in my brain."

"What does that mean?" Greg asked, trying to keep things pretty normal in the house as he walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge. "Are you back on your diet?"

"Yeah…I lost like twelve pounds in the hospital, so the pediatrician what-not wants me on a diet similar to what I was on when I first came here. And reparable damage most likely means brain surgery."

"Will you miss your court date? I can ask the judge for a delay if need be…"

"No…it should all be taken care of by then," Nathan said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "How soon will you be done? I have practice today-just sprints, but I need to be there on time."

"For what?"

"I made the Varsity Basketball team. I'm not up to par yet, but Whitey has faith, so I'm putting in a little extra practice." Greg nodded, making his way up the immaculate staircase, Nathan hot on his heels.

"Congratulations. I'll be done here soon, promise."

"Please and thank you." Greg eyed the piano, the piece of sheet music on the stand, written on and over again, Nathan's very own masterpiece. He bypassed the piano, knowing how the teenager regarded privacy, and headed towards Nathan's room. The last time he had done this, Nathan's room was bare, save for the bed and sheets. Now, the entertainment center rested against a wall, covered with various electronics and pictures. The door to the other room was open, and Greg could see the chair and stuff sitting in there. "Are you convinced now? That I'm not in danger or harms' way or any other crap like that that my mom wants to spew out?"

"Nathan, I was convinced before starting the inspection-this is just to cover my ass. I'm gonna go now, before you blow up at me or something. I'll see you the twenty third at your trial." Nathan nodded, watching the man leave. He picked up the phone, dialing the number to his girlfriend.

"Hello? Nathan?"

"Haley, what day is it?" he asked, feeling her smile into the phone.

"Sunday."

"Good." And it was-only one day until Normal.

**Like I said, crap ending...oh, and the top two sections were kinda their thoughts at the same time.**


	19. Chapter 19

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the incredible long wait! I just..I couldn't write. Everything i did write totally sucked, and I wasn't about to put it out. This...this is just okay. I've definitely written better, but hopefully my muse will return soon. crosses fingers I have no intention of posting anything until I've settled into my dorm room (i move in saturday); sorry!  
**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Eighteen: Welcome Home to My Life**

_"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."_**-Allan K. Chalmers**

Dan watched Nathan through the observation window as the nurse bandaged his hand from his IV. He had somehow managed to get dressed on his own, eager to go back home. He had been in the hospital for two days, and he was itching to get out. "Your son's a brave kid," the doctor commented as he came into his office, a manila folder in hand. 

"Yeah. He's been through a lot-"

"I saw. Gang bashing?"

"No. A revenge hit, I guess. He spent a month and a half in the hospital? Three or four days in ICU, he had an allergic reaction, and the seizures started because of it," Dan explained. "It's been a pretty bad couple of months, but he's healing."

"He's part of the basketball team?"

"Yeah. He hasn't been able to play because of his knee, and now the seizures keep him out, so…it's shitty."

"Well, I don't know if I can fix the seizures, Mr. Scott." Dan turned to look at the doctor, who was putting up some scans on the x-ray machine?

"So his brain scan-"

"His temporal lobe is bruised, Mr. Scott. I can't perform miracles-and I can't heal it."

"But-"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Scott. I know you and Nathan both had hopes and we're both pleading for this to work out-but it's not going to. The best I can do is recommend someone in North Carolina that might better understand his seizures and how to treat them. Even that probably will not help. My suggestion is to keep him on the medicine he's on, keep down his stress level, remind him that he's still a kid."

"Is his brain okay otherwise?"

"Yeah. You said he was hit-"

"We're not really sure, actually. He fractured his frontal and occipital bones. We know he was hit by his ear-"

"That would be his temporal lobe," the doctor said. "Does he not know?"

"He doesn't remember anything from the attack. He remembers getting hit in the head once, beat up before that, but nothing else until he woke up," Dan replied. "I think it's better that he doesn't…"

"Yeah. They remember more pain than they need to when they remember everything. I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing-"

"Thank you for taking your time to look at him. I guess I better go and talk to him. Again, just thank you for your time, Doctor Timmons," he said, leaving the room for the stairs, to go meet his son in the reception area. "Nate, you ready to go home?"

Nathan looked up at his father, as if surprised to see him there. He had a pounding headache, mostly from the camera they had shoved up his nose the day before to look at his brain. "When is the flight?"

"Not for a couple of hours. I thought, if you felt like it, we could do some Christmas shopping."

"I need some Advil before we do anything. I've still got a bad headache," Nathan complained, pulling on his hoodie over his long-sleeve white shirt and blue t-shirt. He then put on a thicker jacket for the New York cold. He couldn't wait to head home.

**----In the End----**

_"You lazy, selfish bastard!" Deb Lee yelled at her son, shoving him, smiling in delight as he tripped over the step leading from the hallway to the living room. "You couldn't even get me a present!"_

"You couldn't even stay sober enough to get a tree, Mom! How is it that you remember presents?" he screamed back, catching himself on the railing. "You drunk $$ whore!"

He felt the slap before it came, and the sting afterwards bothered him little, adding to the bruise his mom's boyfriend inflicted before passing out on the couch, nursing a bottle of his favorite cheap liquor. "Don't call me that!" she screeched, pushing him again. "I gave birth to you! I sacrificed my life for you!"

He laughed, shaking his head. "Sacrificed _**your**__ life? I'm the one who doesn't live! I'm too busy taking care of you, trying to make sure you don't __**fk**__ it all up." He turned to leave, to go to his room and get away from the conversation he knew would just lead to misery._

"You don't deserve life! I should've just killed you when I had the chance!"

"Maybe you should've." He hadn't even turned around.

"And maybe you should both shut up!"

He bolted up in the bed, shaking like a leaf. Just leave it to Christmas to bring out the nightmares about all the fights and the beatings. That particular year, he had spent Christmas in the ER, getting a broken arm set.

He wrapped his blanket around his shoulders, padding down the hallway, then the stairs, to the kitchen. He turned on the light, searching around in the cabinets for a glass. He stopped momentarily, the scars from his surgery now visible in the pale moonlight mixed with the kitchen light.

_"Mom, you gotta pay for the pills." He said the words through clenched teeth, pain wrecking his body, disabling him. He had an intestinal infection from eating some food in the house-he had eaten it for the simple fact that there was nothing else and no money to __**get**__ anything else._

"Why are you always wanting money? What's wrong with you this time?" she screeched, pushing him.

"Mom…that damn food…"

"Stop being such a sissy, Nathan. You can handle a little food poisoning."

"It's not just a little! If you even cared…"

"If you cared about me, you'd let me enjoy my Christmas day off," Deb snapped, slamming the door to her room, leaving her son alone, and in pain, and wishing, for once, that he was dead.

"Nathan, what are you doing up, sweetheart?"

His eyes glanced up, giving Karen a slight smile. "I just needed something to drink."

"Here, why don't I make you some hot chocolate?" she whispered, getting out a pot. "And you can tell me why you're up at two in the morning."

"I told you, I just wanted to get a drink," he lied, biting his bottom lip as he sat at the table. "Why are you up?"

"Being a good parent. Now, don't lie to me. I know you don't wake up in the middle of the night unless you have nightmares. What were you dreaming about, Nathan?"

"Just…my pa…my past. My mother and Christmas and everything I hate about this holiday," he whispered, looking at the scars on his arm, still fresh and pink and slowly fading. 

"That's never I good think to dream about. You know this year will be different, don't you?" she asked, setting the cup of steaming hot chocolate in front of Nathan as he nodded. "So stop dreaming about the past. This is your life now, and there will be no bad memories from Christmas, or from New Years, or from anything in general? Okay?" Nathan nodded again, sipping his drink, smiling begrudgingly.

**----In the End----**

It snowed on Christmas.

Nathan watched the flakes fall to the ground, covering the dead grass and making his world a true winter wonderland, reveling in the fact that he was in the warm house. It was seven in the morning, and he was pretty sure no one else was awake. He hadn't heard anything from Luke's side of the upstairs, and he couldn't hear the coffee maker going, which was a sure sign Dan or Karen were awake.

He tiptoed downstairs, hands warming up in his Duke hoodie, a smile lighting his face as he saw the presents sitting around the Christmas tree, neat piles for each person. He went around the room, his eyes finally resting on his pile, as equally huge as all the others. A present, it seemed, for each Christmas he missed out.

_"Mommy, mommy, wake up!" Eight-year-old Nathan cried out, pulling on his mother's sleepwear, tears evident in his voice. "MOMMY!"_

"What?" the woman growled, sitting up, a glare dead set on her son. "You better have a good reason for wakin' me up…"

"Mommy, how come Santa didn't leave me anything?"

"What?"

"Santa-my friend Noah said that every Christmas, Santa Claus lands on his roof in a sleigh with reindeer, and then Santa goes down the chimney and leaves him presents in his tree. Why didn't Santa come visit me?" 

"Maybe because you're a pain, Nathan. Santa visits good boys and girls, and obviously, you aren't one…."

"But Mommy, I _**was**__ good this year. I promise!" the tiny boy exclaimed, jumping up on his mother's lumpy bed. "Mommy, does Santa not like me?"_

"Santa isn't real, Nathan. Parents use Santa to explain gifts you're not going to get, okay? Go back to bed and leave me the hell alone!" With that, Deb fell back on the bed.

"But Mommy, why don't I have any presents?" Nathan's lone voice pierced the darkness, and it was followed by a sob as a shoe came flying his way. "One day, Mommy…one day Santa will know I'm good and bring me presents."

"Merry Christmas."

Nathan turned, giving his father a smile as the older man went into the kitchen, starting the coffee. "Merry Christmas," he replied, a smile on his face.

"How'd you sleep? Karen said you were up at two o'clock in the morning…"

"I was having bad dreams. It's nothing. I promise."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. It's just the holidays," he replied, turning to once again stare at the pile of presents. "What did you get me?"

"Open them and see."

"Shouldn't I…shouldn't we wait for Lucas?"

"I'm here, I'm here," Lucas called, almost running down the stairs, with the fervor of a young child. "Now, let's open the presents. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"

"Has he always been this childish at Christmas?"

"Pretty much, yeah. He loves Christmas."

"I guess it's nice when you like Christmas," he whispered, turning away from them.

**----In the End----**

"Merry Christmas," Haley called to her boyfriend as she hit him square in the face, an innocent smile gracing her face.

"You little-" Another snowball hit him in the same spot, and he grinned, rushing out into the yard to tackle her into the ground. "You are so gonna pay."

"No, I'm not. Not if you want anymore kisses or hugs or to be cuddled-"

"Okay, okay, I get it. No trouble." He smiled down at her, her hands pulling him down by his jacket, into a kiss that warmed them both. "So, you want to come inside?"

"Are you gonna show me what you got for Christmas?"

"As a matter of fact….you have to come see…" he basically pulled her up the front steps, opening the door. Inside, his brand new Yamaha Tyros2 keyboard stood in the corner, where he had obviously been setting it up. "They got me a keyboard-and it records songs and prints out the notes and everything. Hales-"

"I knew you'd like it," she whispered, getting lost in the kiss. 

"You picked it out?"

"I helped. Dan picked it out."

"Well, it's gorgeous. It's perfect. God, I've always wanted a keyboard," he said, barely touching the keys, the melody sweet and wrapping around the room.

"Dan wanted something you could take with you wherever you went, so he got you this," Haley explained, also tapping on the keys. "You know, I envy you. I always wanted to play something so beautiful."

"Haley, your voice is beautiful. That's a gift in itself."

"For once, you're not the one without all the confidence," she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder.

And Christmas was perfect.

**I know, crappy. The next chapter will take place a year or so in the future. Look for it soon. (but not **_**too**_** soon:) )**


	20. Chapter 20

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the incredible long wait! I just..I couldn't write. Everything i did write totally sucked, and I wasn't about to put it out. This...this is just okay. I've definitely written better, but hopefully my muse will return soon. crosses fingers I'm all moved in, but adjusting...so it might be another two or three weeks for a new chapter. Sorry!

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Nineteen: One Year Later**

_"Nature's first green is gold,  
Her hardest hue to hold.  
Her early leaf's a flower  
But only so an hour.  
Then leaf subsides to leaf.  
So Eden sank to grief,  
So dawn goes down to day.  
Nothing Gold can stay."_**  
-Robert Frost**

It had been an amazing year. That's all anyone in the Scott household could say. Starting with Christmas, straight through New Years', through Nathan's court dates and various doctor's appointments, the year had been nothing but brilliant.

And now, Dan, Karen, and Haley watched with prideful smiles from the stand of Whitey-Durham Field house as their boys played in the semifinal game on the road toward the State Championship game.

"And Nathan Scott made yet another three-pointer. That's twelve today, and brings his total to well over one hundred for the season! Ladies and gentlemen, let's talk about this young man for a minute. He sat out last year due to knee problems and some very severe seizures, and before that, he was a total unknown! Today, he's 100 for his free-throws, he's almost 95 for all total shots! He's contributed over fifty points to his teams 120-79 lead today, and he's ranked number one in the state in both made free throws and three-pointers, and number two in the country. As a junior, Scott has shown some talent that I don't think we've seen for years in high school basketball.

"Besides being a phenom on the team, Scott is an academic leader at Tree Hill High School, with a 4.2 GPA, and takes many AP and honors classes. He has already been named one of the captains for his basketball team for his senior year, and schools like Duke and UNC are all wondering which scholarship offer he'll accept!" One of the commentators informed the audience, smiling as Nathan made another shot.

"Chris, you can't forget about Nathan's half-brother, Lucas. A more defensive player, Lucas has the most rebounds and assists on the team. He's ranked about…fifth in the nation for rebounds, and seventh for assists. He's contributed only 30 points to the game tonight, but he's also contributed nearly 50 rebounds and steals! Like his brother, he has show talent not seen in years.

"Also similar to his brother, Lucas concentrates just as hard on his academics as sports. He's the salutatorian of the school, and is an active member of a mentoring program. Lucas has already stated his want to go to Wake Forest for a degree in English or Journalism or Creative Writing."

On the court, Lucas mopped sweat off his brow, glancing over to his brother, who was gulping down some Gatorade. "Men, you have done a great job tonight! Let's keep it up!" Whitey encouraged his players, patting Nathan and Skillz, who were huddled together, on the back. "Anderson, Montgomery, go in for Lucas and Nathan, and Tim, you'll sub for Tanner for a few moments. All right?" Red-faced, out-of-breath boys nodded, huddling up, sweaty hands slipping over sweaty hand.

"What are we?" Tim, and, by chance, the Raven's cheering section in the stands, yelled, and all the boys replied in unison "Nevermore."

"Nathan, how's that knee?" Whitey asked his star player, glancing at the medic, who had given the seventeen-year-old a bag of ice to rest against his knee.

"It's fine…just sore from all the running."

"Pain on the scale 1-10?"

"Maybe a 4? It's going down." Whitey nodded, turning back to the game. Lucas slid over to his brother, watching as he swallowed some Tylenol. 

"You sure you're okay?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

"Yeah, man, promise. I'm just…sore. Nothing to worry about. I'll be back in the last two minutes, like you and Skillz, and we'll take this team to a state championship. So stop worrying about me." Lucas smirked, whipping a towel at him.

"It's my job to worry, buddy boy. I am you **brother** after all."

"Yeah, but you all incessantly worry. You don't need to do that any more than you already do," Nathan commented, smirking at his brother.

"I don't…worry!"

"Yes, you do…you incessantly worry," Nathan snarked, standing up as Whitey nodded over to them. "C'mon, Luke…let's just play the game."

**----In the End----**

The cold, vicious weather of late December was once again making an appearance in Tree Hill; ice made the roads slippery, and the police had probably been assigned a lot of wrecks in the past couple of weeks.

Outside the Whitey-Durham Field House, Deborah Lee gave a half-hearted smile as she heard her son's name called. Nathan…but, no, it wasn't Lee anymore, it was Scott. More appropriate-more suited for his family. She wasn't any part of his family anymore.

She wished she was. She wished she hadn't signed away her only son to Dan Scott. She wished…she wished she was clean, that she was a better mother, a better wife…girlfriend…someone who felt…better. But she wasn't. She was a drunken up waste that had wanted to see her little boy.

It had been nearly a year since she had seen him, the last time at the courthouse when Jorge was sentenced. Nathan had nothing to say to her then, and she was sure he'd have nothing to say to her tonight. But, she felt…she felt she needed to see him, even if it was more for her sake than his. _She_ needed to feel better about not having been the perfect mother, or even a good one.

She saw the small family approaching: Karen and Dan were huddled within warm coats, arm and arm, laughing at something the other boy-Lucas-was saying. He and Nathan were dressed in khakis and button-up shirts with ties, their usual basketball pre-game uniform. Nathan's arm was around a girl that Deb vaguely remembered-Holly? Hallie? Holga? No, no, no…Haley. That was it. His _soul mate_.

She grabbed his forearm as he walked by, jerking him around, his laughing stopping almost instantly. "Mom…" he quietly said, glaring at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Now baby…I just wanted to see you…can't I just see you?"

"Mom…please don't do this here…please, Mom…"

"Why don't you want me to see you, baby? Why don't you want to be my Natey-poo anymore? Remember us the two Musketeers-"

"You mean Drunko and Drug Meiser? No thanks, mom…I'm fine now…" Nathan shrugged off her hand, reconnecting with Haley as they all stood with bated breath watching mother and son. "Just…leave me alone."

"Baby…baby, baby…"

"Deb, he told you to leave him alone." Finally, someone stepped in. As Dan positioned himself between mother and son, Haley pushed herself in front of Nathan, forcing him to look at her.

"Baby…baby, it's okay-" she whispered, pressing kisses against his forehead, his cheeks, his eyelids.

"Let's just…let's go. Why couldn't she leave me alone? All I wanted is for her to leave me alone!" Nathan replied, shaking off the obvious feelings of embarrassment that he felt about showing his emotions. This was Haley, after all…girlfriend extraordinaire. She could work miracles-especially if she could make his monster of a mom disappear.

"Nathan, please…baby…"

Nathan pushed past the woman, a sad glare in his eye as he went by, towards the family's Expedition, hoping his family would give him no grief and simply pass the woman too. They did.

He loved his family.

"Nathan!" Deb screamed in one last attempt to gain her son's attention. He ignored her, his head bowed, and she wasn't sure if her was ashamed of her or just crying.

**----In the End----**

"Please don't say anything," he whispered as they drove home, everyone carefully staring at him while trying to give off the we're-not-staring-at-you face.

Haley tightened her grip on his hand, bringing it up to her mouth to kiss it. "I love you," she whispered, nuzzling his cheek. "You know that, right?"

"I know," he whispered back, smiling slightly. "How awesomely wicked was that game? Sixty-three points?"

"it was amazing, Nathan. You boys did such a good job tonight," Karen replied from the front seat, smiling at them through the rear-view mirror. "How's your knee?"

"It's fine. Doc Kowalski just said that I needed to ice my knee when I get home. I'll be fine-Lucas, don't give me that look. I know exactly what I'm doing. It's the same for after every game. Stop babying me," Nathan warned his brother, a glare in his eyes. Lucas knew how much he hated being the one that people wanted to baby and be sympathetic towards; he wasn't that person, at least not personality-wise. He was as fierce and independent as anyone else.

"Do you…do you know why she was here, Nathan?" Dan asked cautiously, wondering if he was treading on still-hurt grounds or if Nathan was okay talking about his life.

"She wanted some semblence of her old life, Dan, of the time when I'd go get her booze 'cause she'd be too drunk or when I'd sit there and baby her because she needed someone to listen. That's why she was here," Nathan responded, shrugging. 

"I'll have my lawyer file a restraining order against her in the morning," Dan promised his son as the car pulled into the driveway of Haley's house. Nathan got out with his girlfriend, walking her to her front door.

"So…that was pretty interesting." she commented, leaning in to plant a single kiss on his lips. "I'll see you tomorrow, superstar."

"Bye, gorgeous," he whispered back, giving her one more kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Nathan Scott." She opened her door, waving goodbye as she walked inside. He smiled, turning away from her.

**----In the End----**

Dan smiled at his secretary as he entered his office, tossing the paper onto his desk, looking questioningly at the manila envelope on his desk. He set his briefcase down, picking up the folder instead. "When did this get here?" His secretary looked up, shrugging.

"Sometime early this morning, I think. I believe some suit brought it in." Dan nodded, pulling out the document, letting out a curse as he read over it. "What's wrong, Mr. Scott?"

"That damn bitch," Dan muttered, picking up his cell phone, dialing his lawyer, surprised to find him on his speed dial.

"Hello?" Kyle Murphy knew it was Dan by the phone number, but he figured it might help his client if he could identify himself.

"How the hell does she get to sue for custody of Nathan? She's addicted to alcohol! She's…she's a bad mother!"

"What's going on, Dan? See, I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is."

"Deb's trying to get Nathan's custody back…even though she signed that document…"

"What? Can you fax me a copy of the document? And calm down, Dan. I won't let anything happen to Nathan-you know that." Dan nodded, breathing in, breathing out, just as he was told. He waited a few minutes until Kyle called him back, promising swift consequences.

Dan could only hope.

**----In the End----**

Championship game. That was what Nathan was focusing on as he made his way through school and classes, trying to put his mother, that whole situation, out of his mind. His father had told him the truth-that his mother was seeking full custody of him once again-but Dan had also assured him that there was no judge in the state of North Carolina that award custody to that woman.

Or so he hoped.

"Nathan, concentrate!" Whitey yelled at his player, glaring at him. Nathan nodded, mouthing "I'm sorry" to Lucas., who nodded, shrugging, passing his brother the ball. Nathan took a shot, smiling when the ball went in just as the buzzard rang for halftime.

"What's wrong with you?" Lucas asked his brother as he sat on the bench beside him, seeing his hand shaking. "Nathan?"

"I'm fine. I took some pills-it'll stop in a couple of minutes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, dude. It's just all this crap that's happening with my mom and stuff-I'm just stressed."

"Nathan, you can't stress-it's bad for you-"

"I know. I'm fine. Don't worry. Let's just play this game…remember, we love this game…and I'm not stressed because of it."

"Nathan…"

"Gentlemen! If you're done, I've got a game that I'm sure we all want to win…"

Both teenagers turned to Whitey, Nathan grinning from his red little bald head. "Sorry," Lucas muttered.

"Boys, where are your heads? Nathan, what are you concentrating on? Lucas, you have made exactly four shots in the first half! Skillz, head, game-does that not ring a bell? Devon-I'm not Do you want to win a championship? Or do you want people think this is all a goof?" Whitey yelled, clearly frustrated. "Gentlemen, please! You have worked so hard, this one game-I ask you only for this. Gentlemen, take your break, and concentrate more on this game! You deserve this game!"

As they came back out to the court, Lucas gave one more worried look to his brother, who shrugged and glared. He was fine-his brother needed to know that. He needed to know that Nathan was strong-that his mother wouldn't bring him down.

As the buzzard rang to begin the third quarter, Nathan was hot. Whatever was wrong the first half, Whitey believed his young star had forgotten it.

And then he saw the hand start.

And he saw Lucas' eyes widen.

And he saw the ball fall.

And then he saw the worst thing of his life.

Nathan's small seizure in his hand spread to his body, and he collapsed on the floor.

**----In the End----**

Nathan opened his eyes, looking around the cold room with surprise and wonder. "Dad? Karen?" he called, pushing his hospital-issue blanket off his body. A small shiver ran up his body as his feet touched the bare floor. "Dad? Karen? Haley?" he called, taking a step forward, feeling the slight tug of the IV before it came loose.

He pushed open the door, looking around the hallway, calling out "Dad? Karen?" again as he stepped into the hallway. He pushed a cart out of the aisle, looking at the various patients' clipboards on the wall. He opened the door down at the end of the hall when he got to it, surprise on a nurse's face. "Um…can you help me? I'm looking for my Dad and my…my…"

"Nathan Lee, you should be in bed." He froze up, the motherly tone of the voice frightening him. He turned slowly, face hardening when he saw his mother standing before him. "What is that look for, sweetie? Don't you want to get well?"

"Mom? Why are you here? Where's Dad?"

"Your father? Nathan, your father left us before you were born. He sends a check once a month and a card on your birthday and Christmas."

"Mom…don't lie. Please, for once, _don't_ lie to me. Where's my father?" Nathan pleaded, feeling the pain building up, his body sagging so that he had to grab onto the handrail going down the wall.

"Nathan, your father is not here. He didn't _care_ enough to come," Deb tried explaining, reaching out a hand to her son, gasping as he flinched away.

"Why are you lying to me?" he cried out. "Dad! Karen!"

"Mr. Lee, why don't we sit down here?" A nurse whispered soothingly as she brought up a wheelchair, signaling for two orderlies. "Let's go back to your room and get some rest and then we'll talk about this-"

"Where's my father? Get your hand's off me!" He practically growled, pushing the woman away. He tried to step forward, but two men pushed him back, into the wheel chair. He struggled with them as the nurse called for a doctor and grabbed some soft restraints, struggling to wrap them around Nathan's tensed hands.

"Honey, you need to calm down. You're going to have another seizure if you don't," she tried to coax the boy, sending a thank you to Heaven as a doctor came over. "He's an epileptic patient-brought in with a grand-mal seizure. He's aggressive, mood swings-"

"Okay. Give him 5mg of Halcion, soft restraints once you get him back in bed. And give him a mix in his IV of 5mg per Liter to keep him calm while he's recovering," the doctor ordered, scribbling something on Nathan's chart. He kneeled down to Nathan's level, patting the teenagers' knee. "Don't worry, son, we'll get you all fixed up. You'll feel much better in the morning."

"I'm in hell. That's it. My mother's not a psycho bitch, my father not here, my brother, my _girlfriend_…I've gotta be in hell. And you can't fix that and make it feel better," Nathan spat out, turning his head away from everyone, trying to return to normalcy.

**----In the End----**

In room 323 of Raleigh Memorial's PICU, Dan Scott sat watching the heart monitor of his son, holding the teen's pale, limp hand in his own, tears running down his face. Out in the waiting room, twenty of Nathan's friends and family, and a state championship trophy and MVP plaque, waited for any news about their star player.

Nathan's hand flinched, and Dan looked at the face of his youngest boy, one of the three most important people in his life. "Buddy," he murmured, leaning down to kiss his son's forehead, trying to soothe him. "You gotta wake up from that nightmare you're having. We need you back here. We need you to come home to us."

**medical stuff probably not right, but any mistakes are my own!**


	21. Chapter 21

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the incredible long wait! I've been really busy. I'm sorry to say that the next chapter is it for this story. It will be the epilogue, and I hope to have it up within the next month. Also, it might be an incredibly long wait for my next story. That will have to wait until I have the time to write. Sorry!

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Chapter Twenty:Nevermore**

_"And you ask me what I want this year  
And I try to make this good and clear  
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days."_**-Goo Goo Dolls**

It wasn't dream world, Nathan realized the next time he opened his eyes. It was hurt and pain and reality. It was the pounding in his head and the spasming in his knee and it was…real.

At least it was real. Not some freaked up, _Leave It to Beaver_ style life with a nice mommy and a dad that actually provided-but didn't see-at least he was back to his life.

Or so he hoped.

"Dad?" He mumbled, sitting up, the very act of moving substantially increasing his headache from pounding to mind-numbing _throbbing_. "Dad?" he called again, his mind drifting to the phrase déjà vu, wondering if maybe he was wrong about pain meaning reality. He tried to climb out of the bed, but his feet weren't steady, and he would have crumpled to a pile on the cold floor had it not been for the rail of his bed, his hand wrapped around it. He pulled himself back up, glancing up at the IV-the prescription on the bag said Nathan Scott. Not Nathan Lee. Which meant this had to be real.

So if it was real, where was his father?

He looked back up at the IV bag, surprised at the mixture-20mg Phenobarbital, 10mg Topiramate, and a 5mg drip of Lorcet, as well as some nutrient-based liquid and saline. Obviously, the pain killer wasn't doing it's job. He saw another bag sitting at the back-empty of its contents of a different mixture-a much stronger one. 50mg of Phenobarbital, 35 of Topiramate, and 50 mg of Morphine.

He twisted his head back to the door as it opened, smiling when his father walked in, a Styrofoam cup of coffee in his hands, along with the day's newspaper. Dan momentarily glanced up, and a smile graced his face when he saw his son awake, standing up, even. "Mornin', Sunshine," he greeted his son, setting his coffee down. "Why don't we get you back into bed?" Nathan nodded, letting his father just about pick him up, placing him on the thin blanket.

"Hey, Dad." He hadn't realized that his voice was so raw and scratchy.

Dan wrapped his youngest son in a hug, kissing his forehead. "You scared me," he whispered, tightening his hold. "God, you scared me."

"I'm fine now, Dad," Nathan whispered, smiling. "I'm okay."

"You had another seizure, Nathan-it was the first one in a long time-"

"I know. And Dr. Bradshaw is going to kill me because he warned me about what stress could do, and I got stressed out."

"You're correct there, mister." Nathan gave the good doctor a small smile, wincing as he leaned back into the pillows. "How are you feeling?"

"My head feels like I've rammed it into a brick wall one too many times."

"How about your arm?"

"My shoulder's really sore-my hand-" he shrugged, looking down at his hand, which was wrapped up tight in an ACE bandage. "What's wrong with it?"

"You sprained your wrist-it actually hit the gym floor one too many times. How's your knee?" Dr. Bradshaw was filling out the chart he had on Nathan, adding on to the laundry list of injuries he had been in for after his bashing.

"Fine. I can't really feel it. Mostly because I can't feel anything besides my head pounding in my skull. Can I have the morphine back?"

"Uh…no. But if you'll give me a few minutes to examine you, I'll give the nurse the all clear to give you some more Lorcet, which should put you back to sleep. Would that be okay?" Bradshaw reasoned with the teen, watching him wince as the doctor's gentle hands examined his head. "How long ago did you wake up?"

"A couple of minutes. Not long."

"Okay. The Lorcet should keep you out all day, but tomorrow I'm gonna want you up and about." Nathan nodded, grimacing slightly as he twisted his arm.

"Dad, did we win the game?" he asked suddenly, drowsily, an afterthought of the other things running through his head.

"Yeah, son, you won the game," Dan replied with a grin, watching as the nurse slipped the needle into Nathan's IV. "You also were awarded the very coveted MVP. Whitey has all your stuff. They were all here the first night, but I know how much you hate it when we hover, so I sent them home."

"Thank you," he whispered, blinking. "How much longer will I be here?"

"Don't you even worry about that right now, Nathan," Dr. Bradshaw chided, grinning. "Just enjoy the time to relax and _get better_."

**----In the End----**

Nathan hugged Haley tight to him, pressing a kiss into the crook of her neck as he felt her tears wet his shirt. "It's okay. I'm fine," he whispered, praying that she didn't cry-he couldn't stand it when she cried.

"God, you scared me," she replied, pushing away from him-don't let him see the tears!-and smiling. "I…God-" she sat in the hard plastic chair by his bed, looking up at him, standing shakily, but standing nonetheless.

"I'm fine."

"You weren't so fine on that basketball court, Nathan. Why did you do that? Why did you risk _your_ life like that? Why?" she mumbled, fear and wonder in her voice. 

"Haley, I can't stop my life because I'm at risk for seizures. I love my life. I love what I've done with it and I love what I'm doing in it. And I won't let that change because of this…mess," he said defiantly. "I'm not going to let this rule my life. I'm not going to succumb to it."

"What are we going to do when you die or get brain damaged from one of these things, huh, Nathan? What are we going to do?" Haley shouted, finally getting it off her chest, pushing herself up. "I think maybe I should go."

"We? Have you talked about this with someone else, Hales? Lucas? Peyton?"

"Your father maybe?" she spat back at him, biting her bottom lip. He was fascinated with it's trembling, wondering if he'd have to stop the tears for a second time.

She raised her hand to his cheek, smiling softly, sadly. "I love you, Nathan. And I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't want you to be hurt anymore."

"I understand that, Haley. And you know I love you. But I'm not letting this-I'm not going to stop fighting to be me again. It's just not in my nature." She nodded, the tears slowly falling as her hand hit her side.

"I need to go."

"What? Hales…don't be like this-"

"I need to think."

"About what? Us? Don't go, Hales-"

"I need to be alone, Nathan!" she screamed, pushing his hand off her arm, jerking away from him. "I just…I need to be alone right now. I'll call you later."

"Are you breaking up with me?" She stopped in the doorway, the painful string of his voice nearly halting every process of her body. "Hales…are you breaking up with me?"

She took a moment, a moment to collect her thoughts, to collect her choices and her decision, before turning around to face him, shrugging. "I dunno. I just know that…I just need to think. By myself. Like I said, I'll call you later."

He watched her leave, not realizing the moisture he felt on his cheeks were the tears falling down his face.

**----In the End----**

He's been in the hospital four days when she finally shows up again. He wondered idyllically what "later" meant in girl terms as he waited, knowing that guys saw later as the next afterthought when they remember. He had the tv on ESPN, as it was the beginning of March Madness and he had all his money riding on Duke this year, and the remote went flying out of his hand as she knocked on the door.

He wondered if she had been sick. She looked thinner, paler than before, and he wondered how she got that way.

He forgot how to wonder when she crawled into his bed, tears trickling down her face as she snuggled up next to him. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she closed her eyes, and he smiled.

"Me too."

"I was stupid."

"So was I."

"A total idiot."

"Don't call yourself that."

"I'm sorry."

"You said that already."

"I wish I could take it all back."

"But you can't."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

**----In the End----**

-----May, One Year Later----

"You look so handsome." Karen carefully fixed his tie, smiling brightly at the brunette-haired boy she'd come to think of as her own. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Karen," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "You sure you and dad are going to be able to handle this?"

"Seeing both our kids graduate? I think we are, Nathan. You do yourself proud out there…" He nodded, looking down at the cards in his hands, his speech. He had been asked by the principal to speak to his fellow graduates, a true honor and a sign of respect , but he was nervous as hell.

"I will," he promised, smirking at Lucas as he came into the room.

"You will what?" Dan asked, following his eldest son, the camera in his hand.

"I will kill you if you get any of me on that tape," Nathan returned. "I think adding patricide to my criminal history will be a fine touch, don't you?"

Dan mock-scoffed, holding up the camera, pressing the record button. "So, Nathan, how are you feeling? Nervous? Excited?"

"A lot of both. I'm excited that I'm graduating-finally!-and an honor student, at that. I didn't think I was even going to graduate high school, let alone get a scholarship to UNC," Nathan answered truthfully, looking down at his feet, a smile gracing his face. "And what about you, Dad? How are you feeling?"

"Wow….turn the camera on me," Nathan grabbed the camera, flashing it on Dan's face. "I'm proud. I have two sons who are graduating as honor students. What more could I ask for?" He grabbed the camera back from his son, turning it to Lucas.

"And what about you, young man?"

"Dad, I hate that camera," Lucas answered directly, smirking at the camera.

"Luke, answer the question," Karen chided.

"Fine. I'm excited. Really-I'm just…I'm nervous. So, get out of my face, please."

And that was that.

**----In the End----**

"In starting, we'll be hearing from a student who came to us in his sophomore year. Ask anyone who goes to this school who Nathan Scott is, and you'd be surprised what you'd hear. He came here because he got in trouble with the law, that's what most people would start off with. He's a basketball player-that's what he's most famous for at Tree Hill.. He led our school to two state championships. But I know him better than anyone else here-he's my brother. People don't really know Nathan. They don't know the hell he's been through. They don't know that he almost died.

"But, that's not what we're here for. Nathan was chosen-voted on, by his peers, the faculty, and the staff- to speak. It's a great honor, and he accepted in true grace. So, ladies and gentlemen, my brother, Nathan Scott." A round of applause started as Nathan stood up, walking towards the stage and the podium. He hugged his brother as they passed, looking up briefly to the stands, to the parents and friends of his fellow graduates. To Dan and Karen, sitting near the front, the camera firmly in Dan's hand.

The crowd sat down quietly and listened intensely to Nathan's speech. His fingers constantly tapped the sides of the podium, and a few times he stuttered through a sentence, his nerves obviously getting to him. His speech was memorable, his soft voice articulating thoughts of moving on and leaving things behind, of never forgetting and always being thankful. "And as for being thankful," he said into the microphone, a small smile on his face. "I have so many people to thank. My dad, Karen, this school, these people-my fellow classmates-and so many people at Raleigh Memorial Hospital that are the reason I am alive. We all…we have so many people to thank. We have so many people to honor-ourselves, and those that got us this far. So, here's to us, my fellow graduates, here's to all we have accomplished-here's to what we've done, and we're sure to do in the future."

The roar of applause made Nathan smile, and he stepped down to his seat as the crowd stood in approval. He felt--for some reason he felt accomplished. He had never been as accepted as he was now. Never.

"And now, we call upon our student body president, Brooke Davis, to introduce our next student speaker." Brooke stood, as perfect as ever, a smile on her face as she adjusted her cap and made her way to the podium.

"It's one thing to be elected to speak at the graduation ceremony, but it's another when you're chosen based on your sheer knowledge and superior academic performance over the past four years. Haley James, ladies and gentlemen, is this year's valedictorian. She has a flawless 4.2 GPA, and she's going to UNC next year on a full ride.

"But, like Nathan, Haley is so much more than meets the eye. Many of us got close to her three years ago when our school raised almost fifty thousand dollars to aid in her kidney and liver transplant. Two students sitting in this crowd are donors. Haley is such an integral part of our society…she's part of that glue that keeps us together. She knows everyone, and is willing to help everyone in any way she can. She's a tutor-she got me through Calculus-and she supports our sport's teams. She is the epitome of what a Tree Hill Raven is. And it's my great honor-and such a privilege-to introduce our valedictorian tonight, one of my best friends, Haley James."

Nathan clapped with the rest of them as Haley took the stage, a secretive smile on his face as he watched her. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, students, faculty, and staff." She paused, pushing the auburn tendrils from her eyes, trying to concentrate on the paper before her. "I've spent over seven hundred days at this school-well, less than that if you count the months I missed when I was sick-but I've learned something from all that time here.

"We truly, truly, have a school, and a town, to be proud of. We have alumnus who donate so much each year to keep our school top-of-the-line. We have sports' teams that draw in the crowds. We have students that are academically recognized.

"But, more importantly, we have _heart_. We know what sympathy is and we know that we will do everything in our power to remain unified.

"But, now it's time to move on. To split apart and find another group to cling to, another person to help. We won't be as tight as we are now-we won't be as close ever again as we are in this minute." She turned the page, a smile on her face. "We will move on to bigger, better things, and we will not look back and regret our past. That's what _this_ is for-to celebrate our accomplishments that have pushed us to our future, whether it be college, work, the military, or starting a family. Congratulations, my class, my graduates, my _friends_. Congratulations on your accomplishments. You are-_we are_-truly amazing. Never forget that, but don't look back. We have so many bigger and better things to move on to.

"It amazes me that I will never be able to walk through the doors of Tree Hill High as a student rushing to class or preparing for a final. I will never be able to cheer in the student section of Raven Field or Whitey Durham Field House. I will never again be a student of Tree Hill High. _We _will never be students of this high school again.

"Instead, we join a new school, only to once again have to start at the bottom and work our way up. But we, my fellow Ravens, are up to the challenge. We've always loved being the underdog." She cleared her throat. " 'We were a silent, hidden thought in the folds of oblivion, and we have become a voice that causes the heavens to tremble.' Kahlil Gibran. 'We were a silent, hidden thought in the folds of oblivion, and we have become a voice that causes the heavens to tremble.' Always remember that. And never, God help us never, ever let us lose that voice. Never may the heavens stop.

"In closing, I have one thing to ask you. What are we?" She whispered the words so familiar to the students, the alumni, the words that were spoken at every game and, in a shouted, unison, response, the answer was clear, unforgettable.

"Nevermore."

**Epilogue up soon. Feedbacklove )**


	22. Chapter 22

-1**summary:** He messed up. He got caught. He found himself in the place he least expected.

**Author's note:** Here is the epilogue. I hope you like it, and hopefully I'll be back sometime in December with a new story...here's hoping, at least. 

**rating:** What do you think? T, of course

**disclaimer**: I do not own the copyright to any of the characters, the show, or the plotline of OTH. Damn.

**Epilogue: In the End, It Doesn't Even Matter**

_"Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference."_**-Robert Frost**

"Dan, quit being a worry-wart! They'll be here soon!" Karen chastised her husband, smiling at him, running a hand through his gray and thinning hair, soothing the wrinkles that scattered the fifty-one-year-old's face. "They're driving all the way up from Atlanta, for goodness sakes. They'll be here soon."

"I'm sorry, Karen. I can't help but worry. With Lucas gone now…" the word stung. Lucas…her precious baby boy, now buried next to his grandfather and uncle in Tree Hill's only cemetery, next to the spot Karen and Dan would be buried in, beside Nathan's spot. Lucas-God, how sad it was to bury your child. Especially with the tragedy that had surrounded Lucas. She looked up to the shelf, to the pictures they kept as a memorial-Nathan and Lucas and Haley at their UNC graduation, their high school graduation, Lucas and Peyton's wedding day, and the day Nathan went up to accept Lucas' Oscar for Best Screenplay.

It was nearly six year's ago-three months after the birth of Ann, Luke and Peyton's beautiful blond hair girl, and over two year's after the birth of Andy. Six months after Lucas' first screenplay, about a boy, from the wrong side of the tracks, with nothing to his name, and the world he then builds for himself, hit it big in Hollywood. Six days after the Oscar announcements. Lucas was coming home from LA-in that Mustang that he loved so much-when he was hit head-on by a drunk driver.

Karen could remember getting that call; she remembered having to tell Nathan. She remembered watching him break down, and she remembered his poignant speech later, at the Oscars, when accepting Lucas' award: "If my brother were here tonight, I know who he'd thank. He'd thank Peyton for sticking with him for all these years, he thank Ann and Andy, our Mom and Dad-maybe even me. This story…_In the End_ was inspired partly by his interpretation of me. But we…my whole family…we thank him. For giving us twenty-seven glorious years, and for teaching us so much about what love truly is." Karen thought that maybe she loved him even more that day.

"GRANDMA!" She wiped the tears out of her eyes as the car door opened, four children crawling out, bundled warmly for the cold North Carolina weather. She heard more shouts as three more children joined the chorus from the first four, and she smiled at her family before her: Peyton and her new husband Thomas, who readily accepted Karen and Dan's invitation into the family, having no parents of his own. Ann, nearly six now, with blond hair and blue eyes just like her father, and nine-year-old Andrew Royal. A spitting image of Peyton, a boy who would make his father proud. And nestled in Peyton's arms, the newest member of their family, Benjamin Lucas. A bubbly six-month-old who would always be a reminder for the past.

"How are you doing, Peyton?" Karen asked, kissing the woman's cheek. 

"I'm going day-by-day, Karen," Peyton answered, looking at the shelf, smiling. "It's a lot easier now. I know he'd want me happy."

"I know. And how are you, Thomas? How's the company?"

"Doing good, Karen. Thank you for having us."

"Nonsense, son," Dan interrupted, setting his granddaughter down. "You're family." He turned to hug his youngest son, patting his back. "And how are you, young man?"

"I'm good, Dad. Just…sore. You know how I get when it gets cold. All the metal in me aches." Dan smiled good-naturedly, trying to hide his worry. He'd always worry about Nathan, about the seizures that had never stopped, the medicine he continued to take, all the surgery he had had as a teenager-he never stopped worrying about that.

"And how are you, Mrs. Scott?" Dan asked Haley playfully, taking the basket full of presents from his daughter-in-law.

"I'm fabulous, as always, Dan." She smiled at her husband, leaning into his body as he wrapped his arms around her. After four kids, after almost fourteen years of marriage, their love was still so strong. Their love was what made it through Nathan's years at law school, the financial strain on the family when Daniel was born, the sadness surrounding Lucas' death, their dream seen through as the money made from _In the End_ was used to start Home of Hope, a place where preteens and teenagers newly placed with permanent foster parents, adopted parents, or an estranged parent could come and relieve their stress. That…that was her and Nathan's dream, especially Nathan. To help the group of kids he was once a part of.

Home of Hope, located in Atlanta, welcomed nearly 150 kids and their parents over a month's time period. 37-38 kids stayed for one weekend. HoH was fully functional based off of donations…over 1800 children a year, and since it had been up and running for almost five years, that was 9000 kids. Nathan and Haley had activities to familiarize the kids with their parents, the parents with their kids, bonding activities that would help children and adults alike.

Home of Hope had also allowed Peyton to move on. She was the creative art director when Nathan and Haley had remodeled the home, and that was where she met Tom. His financial planning office handled HoH's funds and bills, all for free.

Haley smiled, glancing to Lucas' picture, sending him silent thank-yous for helping Nathan cope with his death. That's what HoH was…coping. As was Nathan's job…a lawyer in the juvenile courts. That's how they got Hannah. Now six, their youngest, she had been found with her older sister when she was 2 trying to break into a supermarket. Nathan had gotten the older girl off with probation, and into a good home, and Haley had fallen in love with the blue-eyed, brown hair girl.

In between Hannah and thirteen-year-old Daniel were 10-year-old Catharine and 6-year-old Lucas James-LJ-named for his uncle in his remembrance. 

Haley was pulled out of her thoughts by a jerk on her hand, and she looked down at LJ. "Momma, come on, it's time to open the _presents_. Oh how the child revered toys.

"Mom, you have to see what Grandpa and Grandma have for HoH!" Danny called, his face lighting up. He loved HoH. He loved making friends, he loved helping others…God, he was so similar to Lucas.

"What did your grandparents get the ki-" Haley fell silent as she entered the room, where 12 boxes sat, an Appleã icon on each of them. "Oh…."

"Nathan told me that you're three computers had crashed….we figured this would be a way for the kids to keep in touch with one another. I have a friend who works at Apple…there's a special feature in each one of these…an address book of all the kids that have come and gone. And you can add to it each weekend…" Dan didn't get any more out before Haley hugged him tight, crying into his shirt. "It's in memory…in memory of Luke," he managed to get out, a whisper in her ear.

"Thank you, Dan…thank you so much." She kissed his cheek, smiling at her husband…in the end, it was all right. All right that Lucas was gone, though she missed him so, so much. In the end, it had all worked out…her world was content.

**----In the End----**

--Fini--

Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are loved! 


End file.
